Camp Rock

So, obvi, the Camp Rock ratings were pretty swell for Friday's premiere (8.9 million viewers). I'm especially interested in the unique viewer cume from that, Saturday's ABC airing, and Sunday's ABC Family airing.

Because it's hot as Satan's sack in Los Angeles, I'm at home with a Pinkberry and the television. Seriously, it's too hot to do anything else. Don't judge me.

Anyway, I'm not going to hold CR up to a really high standard... but I am going to dissect it a little bit for my own larfs. Can it be as campy-awesome as the HSMs?

Demi Lovato is cute. Note the fact that this and the HSM franchise have Latina tween leads. Good formula, people. We're three minutes in and we have a family hug. Ladies and gents, we are in for a G rated fairy tale ride...

I have no idea which Jonas Brother is which, but I think the one who is playing "Shane Gray" would probably qualify as "the hot one"? So. Much. Hair. Product.

If this is a music camp, why are half of the kids disembarking from cars and buses and pop-locking? I'm confused. I mean, I know that many people who are performers can both dance and sing or play musical instruments (and sometimes also act).

The girl who plays CR's version of Sharpay (character is Tess... no idea the actress's name) does have the Tiz's presence or over the top flair. Demerit!

Lola's song at the "Opening Night Jam" felt soooo prerecorded. Mitchie (Demi's character) had a solo song before that didn't smack of prerecord (though, of course, it was). I mean... Ashlee Simpson was more believably singing than this presentation.

And Mitchie lies about what her mother does. Anyone else have a sneaking suspicion this will come back to haunt Mitchie and will eventually lead to a family hug when Mitchie (and possibly everyone else at the camp) learns to love who they are and who their parents are, not the whole fame/fortune/status angle?

I love that Tess has Asian and black girlfriends who do her bidding and let her think for them just like Blair Waldorf. Aw, and Tess has mother issues because the woman is always working and can't spend time being her mother. Now I wonder if eventually Tess's bitch veneer will fade and she'll be jealous of Mitchie's relationship with her mother.

It's nice that Mitchie's alarm clock doesn't wake up anyone else in that cabin so she can sneak out and help her mother. Nice and convenient. Just saying.

Is Mitchie going to be singing the same song over and over again?

OMG, we've crossed into the assimilate with the mindless mass plotline. Is this a Pixar movie?

Whichever Jonas Brother that is, his pants are way too tight. Also, back in the narrative world of CR... Shane Gray is in a band. Why is he teaching a dance class (although the fact that there is a dance class helps somewhat with my earlier question about the randomly pop-locking campers)? I'm really impressed (again, in the narrative world) that all of the students were able to pick up the routine... given that HE DIDN'T TEACH ANYTHING.

Why does the DRUMMER need to translate the beat from the sticks to his feet? If he is a DRUMMER? Sigh. I know, I know.

The spoiled bitch character is performing a song with a chorus "I'm too cool for you." Yeah. We've crossed over into ridiculousness, we're approaching campy... I'm not sure if it's campy-awesome, yet, but I'm going to try and shut up now and just watch...

ZOMG, and now we're hitting the "I want to be an artist, not a commercial entity" theme. We're approaching critical mass, people... and we're only 46 minutes in.

Can you really put a paying camper on kitchen duty as a punishment? I mean, outside of child labor laws, there has to be something wrong with that.

Leave it to the smartish white girl to point out the idiocy of Mitchie's whole lie spiral crap. Zzzz.

Mitchie insults Tess, kind of, everyone laughs including Tess's Asian and black friends, then Tess walks off and the Asian and black friend follow after her... as does Mitchie?

The Shane-search-for-Mitchie thing is a cute little Cinderella / Little Mermaid story. And... a game of telephone! Purple monkey dishwasher!

Okay... so "the lie" comes out... but people are more pissed at Mitchie for lying than at Tess for being a complete bitch about it? God, who wants to be friends with any of these people, anyway? Besides Caitlin/Catelyn/Katelynn/however you spell it.

Why are there, like, 7 costumes changes between the reveal scene and the scene where the mother talks to Mitchie?

We're gonna need a montage! A musical performance training montage! Montage!

I really wish the climax didn't have Mitchie spastically gyrating in front of a metallic silver backdrop. Come on, they couldn't let her just stand and perform to the audience, she had to shake like she was suffering from a stroke (until Jonas Brother makes the solo into a duet...)?

The staging in the final group number is all wrong (Mitchie and Jonas Brother at the top, despite her, um, not winning Final Jam...? I mean, yes, makes sense form the "I'm in like with you" storyline, but... sigh, sigh, sigh).

Ultimately, CR was good for what it was supposed to be. It didn't reach the same level that HSM does, I don't think... not as much is at stake, and it's too formula (which, from a printing money for Disney perspective, is a really good thing) to stand out.