As If

After watching last night's Gossip Girl spin-off backdoor pilot, I'm quite glad the buzz around the project has been vacillating on a daily basis from "sure thing" to "dead" and back again. I can't make up my mind. I know I didn't love it, but it does have the potential for fun in the 80s in LA. Still, Krysten Ritter was the only character who popped (not that Ryan Hansen had a ton to do, but he's always enjoyable). I usually love Brittany Snow, but I wasn't feeling her take on Lily. Your thoughts?

Blair

When did Blair Waldorf become such a f***ing idiot?

Seriously, I think that the first 55 minutes of this episode were some of the worst episode the has done since the not-yet-addictive early days (IMHO, everything pre-"Hi, Society").  The characters are doing things that make no sense, even in heightened, campy, teen soap world.

And the Chuck story?  WTF?  I guess it's setting up a new long-arc storyline/mystery about Bart, but boy was that clumsy.

Meanwhile... finally, Dan and Serena are DUNZO.  God, I hate Lonely Boy.  He's such a dick.  But I'm suddenly giving a crap about Rachel Carr...

But, seriously, after all her dealings with the Chuck Basses of the world, Blair let herself get (almost) taken down by this young, wide-eyed ingenue teacher?  Really?  REALLY?

Family, Death, Irony

Oh, Gossip Girl. You continue to astound and confound my expectations with a combination of misleading promos and completely true-to-character developments that, like a car crash in slow motion, you knew was coming a mile away but keep watching hoping it can be diverted. It's like "I know where you're going with this! But I can't believe you're going there! OMG you went there, took pictures, and came back!" Seriously though, a pretty predictable episode... but still a massively entertaining one.

Desmond Harrington as Jack Bass (who is somehow Bart Bass's brother?) is fantastic. Somehow even better here than on Dexter, where I'm still sure his Detective Quinn is up to little-to-no good. Well played, sir. Well played. Chuck and Blair were too busy being, um, themselves and teenaged and in love/hate that they didn't notice your moves. OTOH, you only got yourself a higher paying job. The board can't strip Chuck of his 51% controlling stake in Bass Industries, just the position he decided he desired. And, oh my, the resulting Chuck/Blair seeming-final break-up (of a relationship that never actually started). What's a Chuck Bass to do now?

Meanwhile stuff happened/came to a head with the Lily/Rufus lovechild plot. Yay, it's done (and, um, Matthew Settle, you're totally hot with your shirt off, but if you're going to wax the front, you might as well get the pits)! Only it's not because there's still potential for it to come back because the Sekrit Van Der Woodsen-Humphrey First Born isn't actually dead. Remember this, people. No matter how hard those adoptive parents try to hide it, the lovechild will come back into play. Eventually.

That final tableau of Dan, Serena, Jenny, and Eric looking on at Lily and Rufus walking in (as Lily says something about always wanting to be family) and grasping hands...

The thing is, I think the six of them work MUCH better as a family than as well-preserved starcrossed lovers, a couple of twitterpating teens in an on-again off-again relationship, and a girl and her best gay.

Character Promos

Now that The CW has given two Gossip Girl characters their own promo spotlights (er, aside from the way the netlet originally promoted the show...) what character/song combos do you suggest for the other four main teens (no, I don't count Vanessa)? Remember, they apparently need to be tarty modern upbeat pop songs... so as much as we want Dan to have a promo to Radiohead's "Creep" it's just not gonna happen.

Chuck / "Womanizer" (Britney Spears)


Blair / "Keeps Getting Better" (Christina Aguilera... OH NO THEY DIDN'T!)


How about character/song combos for other shows?

Damn That Mother Chucker

My Name Is Travis, and I Have an Addiction

And its name is Gossip Girl. Seriously. How did this show sneak up and become so wildly addictive? I must've been suffering withdrawals last week when it wasn't on. While I'm not sure how I feel about the kinda-sorta "all our main characters are going to get into Yale!" of it all.

But... anything to have an A-plot about Blair versus Serena this good is worth it. I mean... damn. DAMN. Also... during the Dean's reception the orchestra was playing an instrumental version of Muse's "Time Is Running Out". Love it! Also love that Blair continues to dream in Audrey Hepburn movies. And Chuck versus Nate! And sorta Nate versus Dan! And Chuck versus Nate! And Chuck VERSUS SKULL AND BONES!

But... OMFG BLAIR VERSUS SERENA! NO HOLDS BARRED! SHE RIPPED THE BOW OUT OF BLAIR'S HAIR!

Only Jenny and her plodding fashion job travails fell semi-short. I mean, that was transparent.

Viewers please note... these shenanigans are not necessary to get into an Ivy League school. Just some combination of good grades, good boards, good essays, good recommendations, and a good interview. We did it! And not everyone at Ivy League schools is a trust fund kid (though there definitely are plenty...)

Also, Heroes is on season pass cancellation watch. Episodes remaining: 1.

Meanwhile... brava to Christina Applegate for going so balls to the wall on Samantha Who? post-double mastectomy. The show's not that funny, but it is amusing and she's just magnetic.

The Fall TV Season... We Has It

Gossip Girl: Um... how awesome!? I hate Vanessa. With an unequaled passion only approached by my distaste for Dan Humphrey. Self-righteous idiot. Can't wait to see next week.

How I Met Your Mother: Ted/Stella/Marshall plot: eh. Very predictable and not incredibly hilarious in that I'm sure we all saw each "twist" coming (although that opening montage of the things going through Ted's head as he waited for Stella's answer... hilarious ending with the football jock meathead... what's up, turd?). However... that wasn't the point. The point was the "awwww" at the end. And we love Sarah Chalke (both here and as Elliot Reed on Scrubs). Barney/Lily/Robin plot: de-wait-for-it-lightful. I'm glad they found a way to keep the Barney we know/adore and progress (ish) the Barney/Robin romance. Quite enjoyable.

Big Bang Theory: Jim Parsons makes his case once again for an Emmy nomination... will he be heard this season?

Terminator: I'll watch tomorrow... or over the weekend. Definitely before next Monday. Probably.

Heroes: Starting it... now. This is sure to elicit some form of reaction... anything is better than apathy, no?

Hey, at least there's no long, drawn out mystery as to Nathan's shooter. And, yay, Heroes is "borrowing" from classic X-Men storylines again! This show is always much more entertaining when it's repeating plotlines I already know instead of failing to create decent plotlines of its own. Anyway... Nathan is interestingly not dead. Although he was dead, according to Dr. Emergency Surgeon. And yet it's not because of Claire's blood (again, apparently). Which means the series has created yet another way to cheat death and render death inconsequential, and thus merely a cheap, narrative ploy. Bravo, show. Bravo.

Act Two... Hiro has mastery over his powers. Finally. Although for all you aspiring time-benders out there... please be more wary about how you treat space-time. Holes happen! If Hiro is bored, he should visit the Upper East Side and hang with the Gossip Girl crew. He has the necessary net worth! Oh, and, yes, Hiro is back to using the word "unmei" in every sentence. A good sign!

Dear Peter... I know you're all cliffhanger-y in Texas, but maybe call Claire to tell her that Nathan is alive (?). K thx. Sylar's "I bet you've been wondering where I've been since you saw me last" smacks of meta... but I'm less interested in where he's been and the long-winded monologue-y explanation it surely will be and more interested in him finally slicing the cheerleader's head open. That is all. Wait a second. It was only sort of long-winded. And it skimmed over most of the details of season two (thank god) including calling Maya of the Wonder Twins a "bad taco". Oh, Sylar, you win. You win. Excluding when you got whacked in the face by a trophy and when you lamely use your telekinesis to make Claire's house into some sort of even more boring haunted mansion. Apparently his bitch mother never told Gabriel not to play with his food.

OH GOD, IT'S MAYA. WITH MOHINDER. I COULD NOT BE MORE BORED. Dammit, why didn't she just kill him... um, if Mohinder now thinks the abilities are produced by adrenaline and not blood, then why did Claire's blood work as an instant resurrection tool? Hm? Oh, I suppose her adrenaline might be in it... whatever.

Please tell me he's going to bottle the endocrine system and sell it on the black market. That would be so 4400 of him.

Hiro's father obviously never read the Art of Rhetoric or he'd have known that when he said "never open the safe" all Hiro heard was "open the safe". Kaito also must've never heard the phrase "curiosity killed the cat". Unless this whole thing is a reverse psychology ploy, which it must be if a button on a thing on the desk by the safe opens said safe. Hahah, at least the video will of Kaito calls Hiro out for being an impudent brat. And, oh my, someone stole that thing lickity split. Hiro, you have your mission.

Although, I'm concerned about the conversation Hiro has with Lady Flash. And she's moving at, say, the speed of sound (okay, let's call her Lady Quicksilver... though the VFX implication certainly is reminiscent of light speedbands), and Hiro has now stopped time (or slowed it down considerably). How do they TALK TO EACH OTHER.

Yes, yes, I'm not supposed to notice that.

If the bullets went straight through Nathan, and he healed inside... why did Dr. Emergency Surgeon imply Nathan was dead? Oh, the plot holes... they begin...

... where did Parkman go just now?

... if I'm ever going to get to sleep tonight, I'm going to have to stop the play-by-play commentary because I've been "watching" Heroes for 50 minutes but am only 23 minutes in... including two commercial breaks. Of a 2 hour premiere. To the couch, and away from the keyboard...

... okay, I tried. But come on, Heroes. "His condition has been upgraded to stable"... from, what? Dead? ZOMG. Okay. I'm really just going to watch now. Seriously.

... hey. Me again. I couldn't stay away (though am having no problems staying awake). Linderman works as an explanation for Nathan's recovery... but I'm afraid it just means a roundabout explanation for why Linderman isn't dead (y'know, after Leonard Roberts put his character's fist through his head). And given the odd camera angles and ensuing lack of recognition by other people in the room with Nathan... imaginary figment?

Also... Niki/Jessica/whatever is alive. Cue zzz (especially if we get a lot of Micah and Monica...)

... dipping back into the "Hiro sees a cataclysmic future" well again, are we? Well, at least it was just Tokyo... not like that city doesn't get trampled by every mecha/demon/Godzilla attack ever recorded...

... and an answer on the WTF is Angela Petrelli's ability!

... Weevil got faaaaaaaaaaaat...

... jeez, quote Yeats much, Mohinder? I liked your thematic VOs better. They were somehow less pretentious!

... okay, really going to step away from the computer. Probz won't give detailed thoughts on part two. Because, obvs that takes a while from me, what will all the hole poking...

Mondays Suck Because They're Awesome

Dilemma.

My DVR records only two programs at once.

Mondays at 8pm tonight:
- Gossip Girl
- Sarah Connor
- Big Bang Theory / How I Met Your Mother

Mondays at 8pm next week:
- Gossip Girl
- Sarah Connor
- Big Bang Theory / How I Met Your Mother
- Chuck

WTF, all networks except ABC.

PS - ABC, thanks for programming Dancing with the Stars, a show I have zero interest in.

OMFG Indeed

I will take credit for Gossip Girl's series-best numbers (and... wow... it might be number two on CW this week behind ANTM) because the friend I usually watch with and I had to watch separately last night. And I assume the rest of America is the same?

3.726 million viewers
2.5/4 HH --> same in finals
1.9/5 A18-49 --> 2.0/5 in finals
2.7/8 A18-34 --> 2.8/8
4.2/12 W18-34 --> 4.3/12

You Know You Love Me

Oh, Gossip Girl. I really, really do.

Thank you for finally having Serena put Dan in his self-righteous place.

And for dramatic costumes.

And Blair and Chuck.

xoxo

Nine Oh Two Point Oh (and other pilot / CW ramblings)

Oh, fellow TV watchers.

I really had hoped that 90210 v2.0 was going to be so bad it's good television.

It's just bad television (but it does have that train wreck charm about it).

Maybe it'll eventually grow out of it's crappy self and into something worthy of guilty pleasuredom (though, let's all remember... 90210 v1.0 wasn't a prize pig of guilty pleasureness its first season... remember those crappy moral/issue of the week episodes? Oy!)

Oh the flip side, I do hope it gets big ratings because if it doesn't, well, we all know the days of the CW are numbered anyway, but it would certainly add a year of two to the netlet's lifespan.

A severe disappointment, on the quality-front anyway. But expected because I'd heard there was a lot of disagreement between the studio and network on, well, everything about the series. The teen drama genre has moved far beyond this show...

... speaking of which, I'm actually eager for the return of Gossip Girl despite the fact that the season finale last year was sooooooooo underwhelming (not to mention the last-five-minutes "one week later" bit where the show undid a season's worth of love storylines for some inexplicable reason). But, really... I miss Blair and Chuck. I miss them and their silly outfits and their witty retorts and their evil.

Also moderately anticipating the ANTM premiere. I swear to G-d, I wasn't going to watch this season. But... tranny. It's the only stunt they could've pulled (although Dominique came close last season) to draw me back in.

Got to see some of the final version of Privileged today. The disc was damaged so every 16 seconds, the audio would drop out and my friend and I just started imagining the characters were getting bleeped... and it was much better for it (and sometimes it was oddly appropriate). Only got through 15 minutes of the pilot before the DVD crapped out... I have no intention of seeing any more of the series.

The Alyssa Milano / ABC shitcom Single with Parents (GET IT!?) is, well, shitty. Annie Potts is hilarious in it... and they make good use of Eric Winter's smile, and briefly his abs. But Alyssa just doesnt having comic timing... and the single-camera aspect of the show doesn't help (because one would hope that with a live audience she'd be funnier). Ugh, just not a good show.

Cupid is really cute. As a friend of mine from out of town said when I watched it with her... women across America will be swooning. Bobby Cannavale is the complete opposite of Jeremy Piven in the role. Less in your face sexual, more appoachable/likable. Sarah Paulson is a perfect straightman to his impishness... in a very different way that Paula Marshall was to Jeremy. There's a lot less of the rapid-fire banter between Trevor and Claire in this remake (which I think people who loved the original are going to miss)... but it's because the "love story of the week" is VASTLY more complicated than that of the original Cupid's pilot (which was simply "woman falls in love with a man who happens to be married, and it turns out that he's separated from his wife and well on the way to divorce, so after a showy display of affection, they get together"). Provided Life on Mars fails (and I have no reason to believe it won't), I wouldn't be shocked to see Cupid on post-Grey's Anatomy come March.

PS - I've revised my opinion on The Mentalist. After watching some of the other pilots for this season, it's clearly better than, well... everything premiering this fall except Fringe. Which it happens to air against. Go figure.

Should be getting Better Off Ted, Kings, The Unusuals, and Castle in the next few days.

Can't remember if I ever gave my thoughts on Project Gary / Gary Unmarried or The Ex List.

Gary Unmarried is doomed to failure. Deservedly so because it's terrible. From the jokes to the "would've felt old hat in the 70s" feel. The CBS Wednesday 8pm comedy block is doomed. Poor Old Christine. Although with Worst Week sucking the way it does, I expect it to wind up back on Mondays at 9:30pm by November sweeps.

The Ex List... well, I love Diane Ruggiero. She rocks and she's a fantastic writer. The dialogue in this pilot? Often snappy, witty and fun. And definitely enjoyable in a group of people because at all points someone is going to find something amusing. Unfortunately, there's just not enough substance to the show. I don't find myself caring whether Bella (Elizabeth Reaser) gets married or not. Which, um, total flaw since the premise of the show is that she's told by a psychic that she has to get married within a year or she'll never get married (oh, and the person she'll marry is someone she has already dated). Here's the thing, though. The Israeli show this is based on was a half-hour format. Why did they adapt this into an hour-long serio-comedy when it would be so much better serviced by being a half-hour sitcom (that would probably work well with How I Met Your Mother... just saying)? The issues I have with the pilot are actually pretty easily remedied in series (adding weight of character and making me really care whether Bella gets married). As is, it's on the wrong network (seems more like an ABC show) and scheduled wrong (Miss Match, another light hourlong about love, failed miserably on Friday night).

So Much To Say

Yawn. Wow, so I am behind on this whole "regularly blog" thang I semi-have going here.

I can explain.

I moved apartments this weekend.

Hence... yawn.

And speaking of yawn... WTF, Gossip Girl? That episode was poorly plotted, IMHFO. Not the entire thing... just the last act. I'm sorry, but you're a teen serial. Leave us with a bang (doesn't have to be literal, but some kind of huge, buzzy cliffhanger would do). Instead, the show limps off to summer with a One Week Later coda that seems to put 80% of the characters back where they started the series (not to mention mixing up, like, all of the teenagers' partners in lust... but in a matter of fact way that doesn't demand exploration, as opposed to that OMFG moment I kept waiting for). I don't get it. When Gossip Girl went on hiatus in early January, I couldn't wait for the next installment. September 1st? I'm not entirely sure I care that it's over three months away.

While on the subjects of narrative leaps, I think I'm in the minority on Desperate Housewives' five year jump. I like it as a reset button. There are plenty of blanks to be filled in... but only a couple that really matter (the central one being why is Susan not with Mike). Let's face it... the show, even though it had a creative resurgence due to Katherine Mayfair / Dana Delany, was getting tired. How many iterations of Gabrielle cheating on Carlos did we see? How much annoying crap with Lynette's preteen boys? This allows new kinds of stories to be told for certain characters without all the hullabaloo of, y'know, transitioning us there (so, in concept, I like it... in execution it seems like the show gave Lynette's storyline to Gaby and is aging Lynette's monsters five years and they're still going to be giant pains in the arse...)

But, hopefully, good riddance Andrea Bowen! May you never come back from college. And can suit-and-tie Andrew please get his gay storyline back? I mean, Brothers & Sisters follows the show... make it work, people.

OMFG

Oh, Little J...

I've decided that I really, really, really missed Gossip Girl. I do know the exact episode that the show stopped being something I watched because it was "so bad it's good" and made for very easy ridicule and became, well, obsession. Regardless... it was severely missed (by me, anyway, we'll see the ratings in the morning) the last three months and this was a very good episode to come back on. Mostly because it reminded me of why it is the guiltiest of pleasures. Every week is like watching a new trainwreck. It is impossible to stop staring.

Meanwhile...

"Sandcastles in the Sand" happened on HIMYM. I haven't been able to get the song out of my head for the last week. And what a FANTASTIC episode. Barney/Robin! Who'd've thunk it (would ever leap from fanfic to canon)? Why does everyone in Canada on HIMYM sound like they're from Ireland? Also... they totally uglied the Beek. I mean, even more so! The whole conversion when Marshall and Lily become Robin's parents. Can we keep Michelle? The robot!

A Couple Thoughts

First off, Cashmere Mafia is a show that I am not recording, but am perfectly willing to go over to a friend's house and watch (especially now that Top Model / Gossip Girl Wednesday has been thrown to the lions... until Top Model returns anyway). It's not a good show. It's better than a terrible show. But I've no need to see it. Especially given the ratings, since it won't be coming back and I think they only got 7 episodes out of it, so I doubt there'll even be any resolution to the stories. I did enjoy the last scene in the episode, though, with Frances O'Connor's character pointedly telling Krista Allen's Juicy Couture-wearing housefrau to shut up ("I can't talk, I'm on a conference call", digging at the Create-A-Bear Allen's character had her kids make for her). I'm not invested in these characters or situations, though, and I find most of them to be completely ungrounded... but in a way that I don't care for.

Meanwhile, Gossip Girl had a very fun forced-finale. At least the producers were wise enough to craft thirteenth episode (the one that would be the last if the show hadn't gotten a full-season order... and now is the last thanks to the ongoing strike) that changes the game up a bit. The dethroning of Blair Waldorf was a sight to behold, though I have to say I'm a little disturbed the show decided to re-villainize Chuck. I understood his actions as far as "jealous, spurned ex-lover" go, but when Blair came to him towards the end of the episode and he said that he wasn't interested in her any longer because she was used goods... that sucked. They spent eleven episodes taking us from "Chuck is a rapist" to "Chuck is a manipulative, privileged jerk, but he's entertaining" and now all I can think about is "Chuck is a rapist". I liked that Dan's confession of why he loves Serena is what prompts Serena to go after Blair and stop her from repeating Serena's own history. Can't wait to see what happens next.

My recording of Project Runway recorded, but for whatever reason Bravo's clock doesn't match my television's, and I didn't see who got auf'd... Kevin or Christian (I later read that it was Kevin). There are 9 designers left and these two were in the bottom two? Based on raw talent, I'd never have expected that. But Kevin's dress was unfinished and heinous, and Christian did a bad thing by blaming his client instead of himself for not pushing hard enough to get the dress where it needed to be. Meanwhile, Ricky cried once. Why didn't he get auf'd? He is consistently terrible with his construction and that dress was a mess, not to mention bland and it washed his model out (although I guess on the flip side, Kevin's was just as bad with regards to color and his model's complexion). Sweet P should have won, that dress was beautiful and that girl is going to see it in her closet twenty years from now and it'll still be beautiful to her. I was surprised Chris wasn't in the Top 3, but the show went for a Bottom 4 this time (to yell at immune Rami). At this point, the show needs to kick Ricky off. As soon as it does, it will have a pool of serious designers (I would have said it also needed to kick Chris off two weeks ago, but he's done a really stand-out job these last two episodes).

Back from the Dead (aka Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008 has original TV on!)

Hey there, Upper East Siders unwashed masses. I'm not dead! And, for the time being, neither is television (poor girl's on life support, though).

On deck tonight (with commentary to follow / be updated as I watch and snark)...

Gossip Girl: CW advertising (blech, btw) has promoted these final two produced episodes as The. Best. Yet. Remains to be seen. One thing is certain: CW in HD has just been added to my cable line-up, so this will be the visually crispest episode to date.

We open on a late-night shindig (would the kiddies on the show use that word? Maybe for its retro-pastiche value?) at a pool, which features a return of Gossip Girl's oh-so-fabulous "Upper East Sider teenagers drink a lot of alcohol and also do drugs" parties. Chuck is amusingly lifeguard attired (Ed Westwick's wardrobe line/closet is the best on television, I'm convinced). Dan and Dead Fish Eye Vanessa join the party (seriously, who cast that girl, and why haven't they written her off?) just as some Red Shirt gets wanged on the head by a pole (seriously, who put that there) and falls into the pool. And starts bleeding. Yay? Oh, the pool's on school grounds (that was PROBABLY a bad idea, and it looks like it's outdoors and I'm confused because I'm from near NYC and it was rarely pool weather AT NIGHT IN JANUARY)... which will probably not be a good thing. But, hey, Chace Crawford is diving into the water shirtless (which I decry as a former lifeguard, but applaud as a surveyor of mancandy). Leighton Meester is not given nearly enough credit for how hot she is. So begins a Very Special Episode (VSE) of Gossip Girl.

Someone left a cell phone at the scene... which, given this show's world view of cell-phone-as-life-line, is insane. More insane: the school blows up pictures taken on the phone on an LCD HD TV... and they're crystal clear. Suuuuure. But wait! The kid is apparently okay, but the school needs to make with the punishment. This VSE is veering towards lame... especially with the inclusion of a new headmistress (who REEKS of "Dean of Discipline" from The OC's third season, but without being male or hot like Eric Mabius) who has the audacity to ask our empowered youths "what the hell is wrong with [them]". And, basically, this episode has become a Prisoner's Dilemma. I wonder why Dan was involved with the group getting lecture-threaten, since he'd only just arrived when the event happened. Surely there was no picture of him (I mean, he's Lonely Boy, no one takes his picture). And SURELY the real Blair Waldorf would've told him that he wasn't given permission to speak when he asked the small conspirator group if their plan would work. You know, when I first watched the pilot back in May, I thought that the show needed to be centered around Dan because he was the everyman eyes into the rich kids' world. But as they've fleshed the story out... he's boring. So very boring. And the rich kids are interesting and fun. I guess that's why you can't judge a series based on its pilot. Morals and conscience have no place in this world. But I digress...

Ooh, a scene with the Adults. That was such an afterthought. Again, I find it insane that in this show's world, Lily Van Der Woodsen does not listen to the messages on her cell phone before getting on a plane (since the message was left before there were even plans to board a plane). But whatever, the adults can have their minor plotline.

Who let Vanessa into Blair's house? And how do they not think that FILMED EVIDENCE OF THEIR CONSPIRACY PAPER WRITING SHIT is something to be apathetic about? Anyway, Chuck just told Dan what I thought Blair should've told him (and added "Humphrey-Dumpty" to the list of names I want to refer to him as). Nate and Blair crap... hm, I wonder if he's going to use the discovery of the key in her desk drawer as blackmail to make her pay attention to him (which, of course, competes with Chuck's blackmail forcing her to do the opposite). These games are fun! Meanwhile, Dan and Serena get into their episodic fight about the class-struggle. And... Gossip Girl referred to Dead Fish Eyes as "V". This saddens me. V does not belong on Gossip Girl (the in-show website, that is). However, this was one time that the voiceover made sense (someone could actually be watching/reporting what Kristen Bell so expertly narrates! A Gossip Girl first?)

Hm, Nate does a chivalrous, but not well thought out, thing instead of blackmail. Zzzz. A thought, re Blair's talk with "V" (ugh)... money is no object to most of the people on this show. "V" (ugh) needs money. So, Blair... just give her the money? Oh, look, once again the thing that I thought Blair should do is being done by Chuck. I know he's a rapist, but gods help me if he's not the best character on this occasionally brilliant, generally mediocre show. But, poor "V" (ugh)... she doesn't come from money and so, naturally, has morals (though not enough to not take Chuck's money... and you KNOW that wasn't the tape with the incriminating footage).

Wait... so, with Nate's suspension (the stakes of which were previously stated as being akin to expulsion), Gossip Girl is saying that being chivalrous yet stupid is a bad thing? This is totally the only show EVER to make self-sacrifice NOT the holiest virtue to which a protagonist can aspire (even placing self-sacrifice below honesty in the World of Gossip Girl... a world in which NEITHER belong). It's nice how the show has to clearly and repeatedly laid out the moral grounds which is attempts to tread (i.e. the "damned if you do, screwed if you don't" of Dan and Serena's situation).

And here's where the brilliance kicks in... Serena talks with her mother about the ick factor of Lily dating Rufus (which... really? do people even name DOGS Rufus anymore?) while she's dating Dan, makes a valid point about knowing that teenage love isn't permanent (which totally echoes the Lily/Rufus romance anyway) but that it feels like it. Burn. Lily is totally going to stand Rufus up now (but not tell him the reason she's doing it, because logic doesn't exist when it comes to television romance).

Ugh, "V" (ugh) continues to worm her way into interactions with characters. When she showed up and gave the tape to Blair I thought she was going to ask for more money (which would've been hilarious). And then she has the audacity to comment on Blair not talking to Nate... boo. Although I was a bit surprised that the revelation of the motivation behind Nate's "chivalrous yet stupid" act wasn't enough to melt Blair's icy, black(mailed) heart.

How did Serena "cut more classes than she attended" in Sophomore year, considering that, in the show, she was GONE FOR A YEAR AT BOARDING SCHOOL and is currently a Junior? Just asking. Whatever. I am interested how the Headmistress (who I will now refer to as Umbridge... because) will balance Nate's "chivalrous yet stupid lie" against Dan's "chivalrous yet stupid lie" (should it come out that he knew Serena was responsible and lied).

"Blair Waldorf is not indebted to anyone." Love it. Also surprised to enjoy "V" (ugh?) creating a "grant for teens with genital herpes" in Chuck Bass's name. And, good lord, when is the other shoe of Blair's blackseat-of-a-limo fling with Chuck going to drop? Because it totally could've during their make up scene. SAD NOW.

And look, the Adult storyline intersects with the Teenage storyline! Just as Serena is gaping about how she inexplicably got off easy and expecting an upstairs-downstairs comment from Dan, we find out that Bart Bass made a call on her behalf (interesting because she's responsible for Lily and Bart winding up together, complicated by Chuck telling his father to help get Serena off trouble-free, and worsened by Bart's lack of respect for Serena's newfound non-trouble-maker persona)... and, yes, the problem was SOLVED BY MONEY.

And a final, juicy twist. Serena goes to Rufus and tells him that she's the one who stopped him from consummating his love of Lily this time around (it was her grandmother the last time). Oh, wait, no, she doesn't. But it's still juicy.

Next Week: The Blair Waldorf pregnancy scare (and premature season-finale). Nice.

Project Runway: It's been so long since the last episode aired... I barely remember who the contestants are! Wow, was it really only last episode that Super Jack left?

OMG. The challenge is to create an outfit out of CANDY/CHOCOLATE. That's great. Best challenge this season, in wild concept.

How do these people avoid killing Christian on a daily basis?

Based on the safe versus risky elements... I'd say Kevin is screwed. But that's not the chief element here, so whatevs! Based on aesthetic, I'm worried about resident screwball sprite Elisa (especially after they took time out of the episode to go over her Tragic Back Story) because that thing totally missed the mark (it's not completely "safe", but it's also not that striking other than the silver arm/shoulder/things). Rami's is pretty cool. Sweet P's is nothing but "eh". Naturally, Jillian, the designer who was Most Worried Going Into The Runway Show has nothing to worry about in my eyes because da-yum. I totally want to eat that dress. Victorya's model was STIFF and apparently she TOLD the model to walk that way. Bad call, IMHO.

Kinda disappointed for Jillian that she didn't win, considering the extra effort of using real food. With Elisa and Sweet P in the bottom two, it's almost impossible for Elisa to stay, given the Tragic Back Story insertion in the episode and the lack of focus on Sweet P. So... g'bye, screwball sprite! I think she was sent home more for the underwhelming... thing... she made given how the challenge ought to have worked in her crazy favor.

Ricky Cry Count: 0...? (but he was red-eyed in the next on, so here's hoping! CRY, DAMN YOU!)

Side note. Top Chef 4: Chicago is not "Coming Soon/2008", but now "Coming in Spring". I'll be eager for it, but I have to ask... already? The last edition (which started and ended a tad later than it ought to have) just ended in October. But... given the lack on things on the air I'll be excited about, TC4 can't be a bad thing, whenever it comes. It just feels like such a great summer series (i.e. begin it after Memorial Day, end it right around Labor Day).

CBS Late Night (Letterman/Ferguson): I normally only watch Stewart/Colbert at late night, but since Worldwide Pants made a deal with the WGA, I'm switching over to these two until the strike is resolved. So, yes, they've gained me as a viewer through the stroke of a pen. Kudos, WWP.

Letterman opens with a taped "joke" from Hillary '08. It was passable. Now if only she'd fire the AMPTP's PR firm (which is also her PR firm). HAH! Rockettes with picket signs! Oh, man, I need a screencap of that shiz. "Questions about the Writers Strike" was a weird segment... all the people asking questions were his writers, right? No? Because weird questions if not planted. I wish this was slightly more subtle. But... hey, media awareness is media awareness and Big Media has been doing a pretty good job of keeping the strike out of the main press and news so... whatevs!

The Top Ten (demands from striking writers) list's best, IMHO, was number 5: "I'd like a date with a woman." Damn, they got Nora Ephron on? Nice.

Ferguson's opening sheep sketch was kinda amusing. But his monologue is crackling. Craig Ferguson is not a pretty man...