Pilot Script Review - The 17th Precinct

THE 17TH PRECINCT
Network: NBC
Written By: Ronald D. Moore
Draft Date: January 14, 2011
Pages: 67

It's a crime show. With magic!

This script was a beast to get through, but I will say this: it is a fully realized world, just on the page.

The only problem was having to slog through paragraphs of description about things that, ideally, will simply BE on the screen. You, gentle readers, will be spared quarter-page descriptions about water streams acting as the Internet does (which, honestly, sticking paper into a flowing water bed and having information pop up or reload or refresh or whatever on said paper sounds so much more complicated than the internet) and reference upon reference to the oddly abundant plant life in an urban environment because they are literal power plants - as in they supply power (GET IT? HAH!)

You will simply get to see it. You will thank your lucky stars.

At least, I hope you get to see it. I hope it turns out on screen. Because... I don't know if it will. This is a project that is going to polarize you. You will either love it, or you with say "WHAT THE FUCK, RON MOORE? WHAT THE HELL WAS THE OPERA HOUSE, NO REALLY."

Wait, sorry. Wrong show. But I think, even with great execution, this isn't a series for everyone. Much more than REM was, THIS project reminds me of Inception. We are in a world different to ours. The rules are different (and, yet, the same). And their world simply is. You will accept it, or you will not. And if you don't, you will not watch.

So, again. This is a crime show. With magic!

Instead of CSIs and crime photographers and blood splatter analysts, we have detectives who can frame pictures with their mind and literally move that image onto a page. Who can magically manipulate spilled blood to show where and how and when it was spilled. Instead of a medical examiner performing autopsies... a necromancer communes with the dead. There are legal jurisdictions that separate what the law is allowed to do if something or someone is "cursed" or just "hexed." The police don't use guns, they have a weapon called a "gladius," a little discus thing that shoot bolts of energy. Cars drive themselves to a destination. Instead of cell phones, communication is done via crystals (that, yes, are essentially cell phones).

And, sometimes, there's an inspector who gets what we would say is a hunch and will declare it to be important and that we should remember that piece of information. As a reader, and for an eventually viewer, I think this will be hilarious. But in the world of the 17th Precinct, it's called being an intuitive savant.

It's not a perfect world, either. Justice is meted out and the legal system can get it wrong (yes, it would appear there are lawyers in their world, too). Justice can be ironic... and cruel. And also magical (a judge threatening someone "out of order" in court with a "gag order" is serious business, and we are left to imagine what precisely that means... I suspect it means making the person mute). It's a world where you can carry on the world's most obvious affair with your partner's wife (seriously, seriously obvious).

It's all different. But it's all the same. And... I think it actually makes a lot of sense. If just depends on whether you buy it. I'm intrigued enough to see more.

As for the cases... there are two, both of which are related - eventually - to a potential long-arc in the series. One is a murder of an important government official of the city of Excelsior (which is San Francisco, even with some overlapping architecture... but different), the other is a cursed building (that becomes something much more).

Since this is a kind of project from a class of writer where spoilers from my review would get all over the place, I'm going to remain incredibly and probably annoyingly vague with regard to actual plot points. The long-arc in this series about a world fundamentally different from ours in that magic and mysticism rule... is the intrusion of something we would recognize and understand, but is unfathomable to them.

Imagine living in this world and discovering that something called a bullet was used to kill someone. Just saying.

This brings me back to my Inception comparison. The biggest difference is that everyone in the world of The 17th Precinct is "in on it." There's no naif-y Ellen Page character to explain building dreams to - or, in this case, magic. Our world and our ways are just as foreign to these characters as theirs will appear to many, many viewers. So, yes, I do worry about the accessibility of this show.

There is a human side to all of this crime show and magic stuff, though the characters didn't truly define themselves outside of their job functions for me in the pilot. Standard detectives with fancy trappings, right down to the old pro annoyed at being assigned a new partner. And I think I was reading correctly when it was implied that one detective, Liam, is what we would call a female-to-male transsexual. "There is no spell to change the human heart" is a particularly effective line that comes late in the script, at a bittersweet moment of reflection, and a character later complains that "our system of justice is subjective and irrational because it’s a slave to the whims of the heart instead of the head."

I have no idea why the title of this show is "The 17th Precinct." It says nothing me about what the show is, besides suggesting that it's more about this place than the pilot, itself, appears to be. I'm not even sure if "the 17th Precinct" is just Excelsior, is beyond Excelsior, or is a small part of Excelsior. As you many have been able to glean from the above... my opinion is that this show is a rather standard crime show in magical drag. But it's one I'm eager to see. I want to love it, but I also hate the script for making it too damn difficult to love with all its bulky descriptions that will either work on screen or won't.

And, so, I'm holding a title pun contest, or at least a title suggestion. There is no prize but your own smug satisfaction with having made a funny. Please comment with your thoughts.

My two ideas are "The Chicago Codex" (which would make no sense, as it's not set in Chicago, but, hey, it screams "magic" and riffs on a crime show more about the place than just about the crimes) and "Law & Order: Spectral Victims Unit." I'm particularly happy with the latter.

Wednesday 03/30/11 Final Cable Ratings

Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E, 9pm, 60 minute)
- 1.510 million viewers
- 1.0/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Storage Wars (A&E, 10:30pm)
- 2.755 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Top Chef (BRAVO, 10pm, 61 minutes)
- 2.774 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

Sons of Guns (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.972 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 7:30pm, 166 minutes)
- 1.490 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Justified (FX, 61 minutes)
- 2.642 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49

Real World Las Vegas (MTV, 10pm)
- 1.690 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49
- 2.1/6 W18-34
- 0.8/3 T12-17

The Ultimate Fighter (SPIKE, 9pm)
- 1.484 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Coal (SPIKE, 10pm, 47 minutes)
- 1.234 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Ghost Hunters (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.800 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Fact or Faked (SYFY)
- 1.287 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

House of Payne (TBS, 10pm)
- 1.738 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

House of Panye (TBS, 10:30pm)
- 2.003 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC, 10pm)
- 0.943 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Operation Repo (TRU, 9pm)
- 1.649 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Wednesday 03/30/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

The Middle (R, 8pm, 97% coverage ABC normally 98%)
- 4.771 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

The Middle (R, 8:30pm)
- 4.887 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

Modern Family (R, 31 minutes)
- 5.460 million viewers
- 3.5/5 HH
- 2.1/5 A18-49

Mr. Sunshine (29 minutes)
- 4.022 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

Off the Map
- 4.226 million viewers
- 2.8/5 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Survivor
- 11.005 million viewers
- 6.3/10 HH
- 3.1/9 A18-49

Criminal Minds
- 13.048 million viewers
- 7.8/12 HH
- 3.5/9 A18-49

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
- 9.528 million viewers
- 5.9/10 HH
- 2.3/6 A18-49

Minute to Win It
- 4.191 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (R, 9pm)
- 3.631 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (10pm)
- 8.544 million viewers
- 5.6/9 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

American Idol (120 minutes)
- 24.180 million viewers
- 13.6/21 HH
- 7.7/21 A18-49

America's Next Top Model
- 2.181 million viewers
- 1.5/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 1.1/4 A18-34
- 1.6/5 W18-34

Shedding for the Wedding
- 0.926 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.5/1 A18-34
- 0.7/2 W18-34

Tuesday 03/29/11 Final Cable Ratings

The Game (BET, 10:01pm, 31 minutes)
- 4.431 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49
- 3.4/9 W18-34

Let's Stay Together (BET, 10:32pm, 28 minutes)
- 2.742 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49
- 1.9/5 W18-34

Million Dollar Listing (BRAVO, 9pm, 61 minutes)
- 1.019 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Real Housewives of Miami (BRAVO, 10:01pm, 90 minutes)
- 1.096 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Lights Out (FX, 61 minutes)
- 0.614 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Only in America (HIST, 9pm)
- 2.102 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Top Shot (HIST)
- 2.246 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Teen Mom (MTV, 10pm, 77 minutes)
- 4.589 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 2.7/7 A18-49
- 6.4/18 W18-34
- 2.0/8 T12-17

1000 Ways to Die (SPIKE, 10pm)
- 1.007 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Destination Truth (SYFY, 9pm)
- 0.910 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Mercel's Quantum Kitchen (SYFY)
- 0.610 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Hardcore Pawn (TRU, 9pm)
- 1.758 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Hardcore Pawn (TRU, 9:30pm)
- 1.869 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Body of Proof Quarter Hour Breakdown

Body of Proof premiere quarter hour breakdown

10:01-10:15
- 15.689 million viewers
- 9.9/15 HH
- 3.4/9 A18-49

10:15-10:30
- 13.894 million viewers
- 8.9/14 HH
- 3.0/8 A18-49

10:30-10:45
- 12.949 million viewers
- 8.3/14 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

10:45-11:00
- 13.352 million viewers
- 8.6/15 HH
- 2.9/8 A18-49

Tuesday 03/29/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Dancing with the Stars: The Story So Far
- 12.853 million viewers
- 8.1/13 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

Dancing with the Stars (61 minutes)
- 19.300 million viewers
- 12.0/18 HH
- 4.3/11 A18-49

Body of Proof (59 minutes)
- 13.942 million viewers
- 8.9/14 HH
- 3.1/8 A18-49

NCIS
- 18.728 million viewers
- 11.3/18 HH
- 3.9/11 A18-49

NCIS: Los Angeles
- 15.335 million viewers
- 9.3/14 HH
- 3.5/9 A18-49

The Good Wife
- 10.162 million viewers
- 6.7/11 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

The Biggest Loser (120 minutes)
- 7.336 million viewers
- 4.3/7 HH
- 2.7/7 A18-49

Parenthood
- 4.889 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

Glee (R, 61 minutes)
- 4.371 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49
- 1.4/5 A18-34
- 1.7/5 W18-34

Raising Hope (R)
- 3.454 million viewers
- 2.0/3 HH
- 1.3/3 A18-49

Traffic Light (29 minutes)
- 2.510 million viewers
- 1.6/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

One Tree Hill (R)
- 0.736 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Hellcats (R)
- 0.683 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Monday 03/28/11 Final Cable Ratings

Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABCF, 8pm)
- 3.332 million viewers
- 2.2/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49
- 3.1/10 W18-34
- 3.7/13 T12-17

Make It or Break It (ABCF)
- 2.058 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49
- 1.9/5 W18-34
- 2.2/7 T12-17

Bethenny Ever After (BRAVO)
- 1.281 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

American Pickers (HIST)
- 6.022 million viewers
- 3.8/6 HH
- 2.1/5 A18-49

Pawn Stars (HIST, 10pm)
- 6.677 million viewers
- 4.1/6 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

Pawn Stars (HIST, 10:30pm)
- 6.739 million viewers
- 4.2/7 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

Hard Times of RJ Berger (MTV, 10pm, 32 minutes)
- 1.367 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49
- 0.9/2 W18-34
- 1.7/6 T12-17

Rob Drydek's Fantasy Factory (MTV, 10:32pm, 28 minutes)
- 1.048 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 0.7/2 W18-34
- 1.2/5 T12-17

Bad Girls Club (OXYG, 9pm)
- 1.641 million viewers
- 1.0/1 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49
- 1.7/4 W18-34

All About Aubrey (OXYG)
- 0.552 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.7/2 W18-34

Nurse Jackie (SHO, 10pm, 29 minutes)
- 0.611 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49

United States of Tara (SHO, 10:30pm, 29 minutes)
- 0.411 million viewers
- 0.3/0 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49

Being Human (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.299 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Stargate Universe (SYFY)
- 0.876 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.445 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

19 Kids and Counting (TLC)
- 1.211 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Southern Fried Stings (TRU, 10pm)
- 1.430 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.6/1 A18-49

WWE Raw (USA, 9pm)
- 5.445 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 2.1/5 A18-49

WWE Raw (USA, 10pm, 79 minutes)
- 6.231 million viewers
- 3.5/6 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

Love and Hip Hop (VH1, 8pm)
- 0.687 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Beverly Hills Fabulous (VH1, 8:30pm)
- 0.633 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Wedding Wars (VH1)
- 0.475 million viewers
- 0.3/0 HH
- 0.2/0 A18-49

Monday 03/28/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Dancing with the Stars (121 minutes)
- 22.773 million viewers
- 13.9/21 HH
- 5.2/14 A18-49

Castle (59 minutes)
- 12.556 million viewers
- 8.1/13 HH
- 3.2/8 A18-49

How I Met Your Mother (R)
- 5.544 million viewers
- 3.5/6 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49

Mad Love
- 5.538 million viewers
- 3.5/5 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

Two and a Half Men (R, 31 minutes)
- 7.789 million viewers
- 5.0/7 HH
- 2.3/6 A18-49

Mike & Molly (R)
- 6.997 million viewers
- 4.5/7 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

Hawaii Five-0 (R, 59 minutes)
- 5.951 million viewers
- 3.9/6 HH
- 1.6/4 A18-49

All Together Now: A Celebration of Service
- 4.209 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

The Event
- 4.532 million viewers
- 2.9/4 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Harry's Law
- 8.540 million viewers
- 5.5/9 HH
- 1.6/4 A18-49

House (R)
- 4.903 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 1.6/4 A18-49

The Chicago Code (R)
- 3.948 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

90210 (R)
- 0.662 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.3/1 W18-34

Gossip Girl (R)
- 0.524 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Sunday 03/27/11 Final Cable Ratings

Breakout Kings (A&E)
- 2.118 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49

Real Housewives of Orange County (BRAVO, 10pm)
- 1.794 million viewers (CORRECTED)
- 1.3/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!, 10pm)
- 2.104 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49
- 2.2/7 W18-34

Holly's World (E!)
- 1.562 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49
- 1.6/5 W18-34

NBA Game (ESPN, 8pm, 162 minutes)
- 1.506 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 10:42pm, 153 minutes)
- 1.176 million viewers
- 0.8/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

Chopped (FOOD, 9pm)
- 3.257 million viewers
- 1.9/3 HH
- 1.3/3 A18-49

Iron Chef America (FOOD)
- 1.799 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Mildred Pierce (HBO, 9:01pm, 121 minutes)
- 1.270 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Army Wives (LIF)
- 4.794 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 1.7/4 A18-49
- 2.8/6 W25-54

Coming Home (LIF)
- 2.263 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49
- 1.2/3 W25-54

Californication (SHO, 9pm, 28 minutes)
- 0.547 million viewers
- 0.3/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49

Shameless (SHO, 10pm, 55 minutes)
- 1.157 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Sister Wives (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.746 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Sunday 03/27/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

America's Funniest Home Videos
- 7.493 million viewers
- 4.1/7 HH
- 1.6/5 A18-49

Secret Millionaire
- 10.631 million viewers
- 6.2/10 HH
- 2.7/8 A18-49

Desperate Housewives (R, 61 minutes)
- 4.024 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49

Brothers & Sisters (R, 59 minutes)
- 2.651 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (4:56pm, 141 minutes)
- 15.082 million viewers
- 8.9/18 HH
- 5.3/19 A18-49

60 Minutes (7:17pm)
- 14.811 million viewers
- 9.0/16 HH
- 3.1/10 A18-49

The Amazing Race (8:17pm)
- 10.957 million viewers
- 6.2/10 HH
- 3.2/9 A18-49

Undercover Boss (9:17pm)
- 11.871 million viewers
- 6.8/11 HH
- 3.2/9 A18-49

CSI: Miami (10:17pm)
- 11.193 million viewers
- 6.8/12 HH
- 2.7/8 A18-49

Dateline
- 3.460 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

America's Next Great Restaurant
- 3.669 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Celebrity Apprentice (120 minutes)
- 8.580 million viewers
- 5.4/9 HH
- 3.0/8 A18-49

The Simpsons (R, 7pm)
- 3.400 million viewers
- 1.9/3 HH
- 1.5/5 A18-49

American Dad (R, 7:30pm, 29 minutes)
- 3.824 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49

The Simpsons (7:59pm, 31 minutes)
- 6.047 million viewers
- 3.3/5 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

Bob's Burgers
- 4.648 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Family Guy (R, 29 minutes)
- 5.518 million viewers
- 3.2/5 HH
- 2.7/7 A18-49

American Dad (9:29pm, 31 minutes)
- 4.993 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

Friday 03/25/11 Final Cable Ratings

American Loggers (DISC, 10pm)
- 1.157 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

The Suite Life Movie (DISN, 8pm, 90 minutes)
- 5.228 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 0.8/3 A18-49
- 3.9/17 T12-17
- 7.0/26 K2-11

Good Luck Charlie (DISN, 9:35pm, 25 minutes)
- 3.685 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49
- 2.7/11 T12-17
- 4.9/19 K2-11

The Soup (E!)
- 0.917 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

Fashion Police Weekly (E!)
- 0.755 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Boxing (ESPN2, 10:01pm, 120 minutes)
- 0.421 million viewers
- 0.3/0 HH
- 0.1/0 A18-49

WWE Smackdown (SYFY, 120 minutes)
- 2.987 million viewers
- 1.7/3 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Merlin (SYFY)
- 1.451 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 7:17pm, 130 minutes)
- 2.732 million viewers
- 1.7/3 HH
- 0.9/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 9:42pm, 168 minutes)
- 3.124 million viewers
- 1.9/4 HH
- 1.1/4 A18-49

Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.178 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9:30pm)
- 1.312 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

DC Cupcakes (TLC, 10pm)
- 0.961 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

DC Cupcakes (TLC, 10:30pm)
- 0.862 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Generator Rex (TOON)
- 1.287 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 1.2/5 T12-17
- 1.2/5 K2-11

Ninjago (TOON)
- 1.173 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49
- 0.9/4 T12-17
- 1.4/5 K2-11

Friday 03/25/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Shark Tank (96% coverage ABC normally 98%)
- 4.649 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

Primetime: What Would You Do? (61 minutes, 96% coverage)
- 4.347 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

20/20 (59 minutes, 96% coverage)
- 4.961 million viewers
- 3.3/6 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (7pm, 147 minutes)
- 5.855 million viewers
- 3.8/8 HH
- 1.8/8 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Between Games Break (9:27pm, 18 minutes)
- 7.378 million viewers
- 4.5/8 HH
- 2.4/8 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (9:45pm, 136 minutes)
- 10.707 million viewers
- 6.5/12 HH
- 3.8/13 A18-49

Who Do You Think You Are?
- 6.558 million viewers
- 4.2/8 HH
- 1.3/5 A18-49

Dateline (120 minutes)
- 8.150 million viewers
- 5.4/10 HH
- 1.8/6 A18-49

Kitchen Nightmares
- 3.982 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.5/6 A18-49

Fringe
- 3.843 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.4/5 A18-49

Smallville (R)
- 1.420 million viewers
- 0.8/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49
- 0.5/2 A18-34
- 0.4/2 W18-34

Supernatural (R)
- 1.146 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 0.5/2 A18-34
- 0.5/2 W18-34

Thursday 03/24/11 Final Cable Ratings

The First 48 (A&E, 9pm)
- 1.920 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Manhunters (A&E, 10pm)
- 1.547 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Manhunters (A&E, 10:30pm)
- 1.575 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Man vs Wild (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.203 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Archer (FX, 10pm, 31 minutes)
- 1.087 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm)
- 7.608 million viewers
- 4.8/8 HH
- 4.1/12 A18-49
- 7.5/22 W18-34
- 5.8/22 T12-17

TNA: Impact (SPIKE, 9pm, 123 minutes)
- 1.688 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 7:16pm, 148 minutes)
- 5.261 million viewers
- 3.3/6 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 10:05pm, 143 minutes)
- 3.832 million viewers
- 2.5/5 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

Fairly Legal (USA)
- 4.079 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49

Thursday 03/24/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Wipeout
- 7.434 million viewers
- 4.0/7 HH
- 2.3/7 A18-49

Grey's Anatomy (61 minutes)
- 10.280 million viewers
- 6.7/11 HH
- 3.7/10 A18-49

Private Practice (59 minutes)
- 7.931 million viewers
- 5.4/9 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (7pm, 144 minutes)
- 6.296 million viewers
- 4.1/8 HH
- 2.1/7 A18-49

NCCA Basketball Break (9:24pm, 18 minutes)
- 4.428 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (9:42pm, 139 minutes)
- 8.586 million viewers
- 5.4/10 HH
- 3.3/10 A18-49

Community
- 4.463 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 1.8/6 A18-49

Perfect Couples
- 3.402 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 1.6/5 A18-49

The Office (31 minutes)
- 7.072 million viewers
- 4.1/7 HH
- 3.4/10 A18-49

Parks and Recreation (29 minutes)
- 5.154 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 2.4/7 A18-49

30 Rock (31 minutes)
- 4.359 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

Outsourced (29 minutes)
- 3.608 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

American Idol (61 minutes)
- 21.300 million viewers
- 12.1/20 HH
- 6.4/20 A18-49

Bones (R, 59 minutes)
- 8.314 million viewers
- 5.1/8 HH
- 2.4/7 A18-49

The Vampire Diaries (R)
- 1.312 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.5/2 A18-34
- 0.5/2 W18-34

Nikita (R)
- 1.408 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 0.4/1 A18-34
- 0.5/1 W18-34

Wednesday 03/23/11 Final Cable Ratings

Storage Wars (A&E, 10:30pm)
- 2.553 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Top Chef (BRAVO, 10pm)
- 2.376 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Sons of Guns (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.651 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 8:06pm, 151 minutes)
- 1.934 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.8/3 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 10:37pm, 157 minutes)
- 1.785 million viewers
- 1.3/3 HH
- 0.8/3 A18-49

Restaurant Impossible (FOOD)
- 1.250 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Justified (FX, 61 minutes)
- 2.224 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Real World (MTV, 10pm)
- 2.157 million viewers
- 1.4/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49
- 2.5/8 W18-34
- 1.5/6 T12-17

1000 Ways to Die (SPIKE, 10pm, 31 minutes)
- 1.292 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Ghost Hunters (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.601 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Fact or Faked (SYFY, 61 minutes)
- 1.186 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC, 10pm)
- 1.230 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

Operation Repo (TRU, 9pm)
- 1.592 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/1 A18-49

Hot in Cleveland (TVL)
- 1.799 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Retired at 35 (TVL, 27 minutes)
- 1.213 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Wednesday 03/23/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

The Middle (8pm)
- 7.052 million viewers
- 4.4/7 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49

The Middle (R, 8:30pm)
- 5.595 million viewers
- 3.4/6 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49

Modern Family (31 minutes)
- 10.897 million viewers
- 6.4/10 HH
- 4.4/12 A18-49

Mr. Sunshine (29 minutes)
- 5.79 million viewers
- 3.7/6 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

Off the Map
- 4.461 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

Survivor
- 11.003 million viewers
- 6.3/10 HH
- 3.1/9 A18-49

Criminal Minds (R)
- 8.584 million viewers
- 5.3/8 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
- 8.800 million viewers
- 5.6/10 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Minute to Win It (97% coverage NBC normally 98%)
- 4.167 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (R, 9pm)
- 3.987 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (10pm)
- 8.838 million viewers
- 5.7/10 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

American Idol (120 minutes)
- 23.946 million viewers
- 13.5/22 HH
- 7.9/22 A18-49

America's Next Top Model
- 2.205 million viewers
- 1.5/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49
- 1.2/4 A18-34
- 1.7/6 W18-34

Shedding for the Wedding
- 0.897 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.4/1 A18-34
- 0.6/2 W18-34

Tuesday 03/22/11 Final Cable Ratings

The Game (BET, 10pm)
- 3.530 million viewers
- 2.1/4 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49
- 3.0/9 W18-34

Let's Stay Together (BET, 10:30pm)
- 1.918 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 1.4/4 W18-34

Million Dollar Listing (BRAVO)
- 1.126 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

Real Housewives of Miami (BRAVO)
- 1.194 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Lights Out (FX, 61 minutes)
- 0.693 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Top Shot (HIST)
- 2.252 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Teen Mom (MTV, 10pm)
- 4.393 million viewers
- 2.8/5 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49
- 5.9/18 W18-34
- 2.2/9 T12-17

Destination Truth (SYFY, 9pm)
- 0.849 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Marcel's Quantum Kitchen (SYFY)
- 0.602 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

NBA Game (TNT, 8:16pm, 148 minutes)
- 1.844 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

NBA Game (TNT, 10:44pm, 194 minutes)
- 2.206 million viewers
- 1.5/4 HH
- 1.0/4 A18-49

Hardcore Pawn (TRU, 9pm)
- 2.064 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Hardcore Pawn (TRU, 9:30pm)
- 2.355 million viewers
- 1.5/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Tuesday 03/22/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

No Ordinary Family
- 5.354 million viewers
- 3.3/6 HH
- 1.5/5 A18-49

Best in Film: The Greatest Movies of Our Time (120 minutes)
- 7.093 million viewers
- 4.5/7 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

NCIS
- 19.457 million viewers
- 11.7/19 HH
- 3.8/12 A18-49

NCIS: Los Angeles
- 16.560 million viewers
- 10.1/16 HH
- 3.2/9 A18-49

The Good Wife
- 11.697 million viewers
- 7.7/13 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

The Biggest Loser (120 minutes)
- 8.326 million viewers
- 5.1/8 HH
- 3.0/9 A18-49

Parenthood (R)
- 2.879 million viewers
- 2.0/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Glee (R, 62 minutes)
- 5.267 million viewers
- 3.3/5 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49
- 1.8/6 A18-34
- 1.8/6 W18-34

Raising Hope (R, 29 minutes)
- 4.064 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

Traffic Light (29 minutes)
- 2.707 million viewers
- 1.7/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

One Tree Hill (R)
- 0.764 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Hellcats (R)
- 0.716 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.2/1 A18-34
- 0.3/1 W18-34

Pilot Script Review - Damage Control fka In Crisis

DAMAGE CONTROL (fka IN CRISIS)
Network: ABC
Written By: Shonda Rhimes
Draft Date: undated
Pages: 66

You have to give Shonda Rhimes credit. She knows from juicy. I am still pretty ticked off ABC didn't pick Inside the Box up two development cycles ago (perhaps it would have saved us all from enduring even a minute of Off the Map?)

Shonda dips back into the Washington DC pool with Damage Control, a relationship-laden procedural about Olivia Price, a renowned crisis manager, and her staff.

What, exactly, does a procedural about crisis management entail?

If our introduction to Olivia were all the show was, then it Damage Control would pretty much be a higher stakes, less-quirky version of USA's Fairly Legal. I bumped on the scene only because, well, the mediation has now been done (and, frankly, I enjoyed our introduction to mediation through Kate Reed's negotiation between a coffee shop owner and an armed robber more). But, whereas Fairly Legal is entirely about Kate and rests/succeeds squarely on the shoulders/considerable charms of Sarah Shahi, Damage Control isn't all about Olivia. In fact, the show begins with the a fun scene between one of Olivia's staff, Harrison, and Quinn, a lawyer. Quinn believes she's been set up on a blind date and showed up to tell him that she does do blind dates. Harrison is there to hire Quinn.

Oh, the mediation, as it were, where we meet Olivia is between two armed gangs of Russians over the split of a massive stack of money in exchange for the contents of a basket... which turns out to be the kidnapped baby son of an Arabic ambassador to the United States. In order to keep it from becoming an international incident, the ambassador called Olivia. She's the go to if things can't go public or need to be kept unofficial. Olivia has quite the reputation as a problem solver, and notoriety from her time working with Fitz(gerald) Grant, the President of the United States. Olivia helped get him elected.

Olivia Price and Associates is not a law firm. There are lawyers. There are also investigators. The case of the pilot and our/Quinn's introduction to what Olivia Price and Associates does is about Lieutenant Colonel Sully Sinclair, 32, the first living recipient of the Medal of Honor since the Vietnam War (at least in this fictional universe). Paige Montgomery, his girlfriend and best friend, is dead and the police think he killed her.

The goal: clear Sully's name.

On a procedural level, Damage Control isn't the most surprising of investigations. I kind of rolled my eyes (a bit) when Sully was presented with a moral choice of clearing his name or coming clean about something else (can you guess what it is without me hinting at anything about his character besides knowing that he's a decorated war hero? If so, then it'll seem glaringly obvious when you actually know more about him...)

What I did like about it, though, is that the murder isn't solved. That's not the goal. The goal, as stated above, is to clear Sully's name. These people are not cops. They do not solve murders. And I'm glad that, here, they didn't.

I like the open world Shonda has created here. Just about anything could walk in through the elevator doors as one of the cases of the week. A crisis to be solved. Olivia demands only one thing from her clients: they don't lie to her. Ever.

This being a Shonda Rhimes show, of course, there's more to it than a procedural A-story and it's through the B-story that we really get to know Olivia. Because none other than the President of the United States calls for her help with a problem (that must be dealt with quietly and unofficially)... an aide is accusing him of sleeping with her, and he didn't. Okay, technically, she gets a call from Cyrus, meets him, and then demands face time with the President (to look in his eyes and determine if he's lying). Olivia and Fitz meet, she takes the case, utterly destroys the aide's life to the point that the girl attempts to commit suicide (and fails), then in a last minute twist, hears something that makes her believe Fitz was lying to her and did have the affair. "Sweet baby." It's the same thing Fitz called Olivia. When they were having their affair (she left him because he said he wanted to work on / rebuild his marriage). So, Olivia goes to the White House on the night of a State Dinner for the French President and First Lady (believable... not really), confronts Fitz, and punches him in the face. And totally gets away with it. Juicy, no?

This being a Shonda Rhimes show, there's also a tendency for characters to repeat things three times in the exact same wording in the same scene to get their way. Hey, if the audience keeps buying it as an immovable object/irresistible force thing, fine.

A C-story involves Stephen, one of Olivia's more senior lawyers and her right hand man (who says "law firms are for pansies"), gathering the courage to ask his longtime girlfriend to marry him.

You see, it's all about relationships. Like I said... it is a Shonda show.

The remaining members of the crisis management firm need a little fleshing out... but this pilot, really, is all about Olivia. In that way, it's slightly like House. A screen-commanding lead character with a big problem to solve, seen at first through the eyes of a new staffer (here, Quinn, in House, Foreman... both picked because of their not-so-upper-class backgrounds).

I don't think ABC is going to pick up two Washington DC set shows. Of what I've read so far, they have this, and they have Georgetown. This comes from the producer of (still) their number one drama (not that that's meant a ton for the success of subsequent series) and has a procedural element and doesn't really play around with red/blue politics, while Georgetown comes from Fake Empire and is straight up soap that plays exclusively with politics. My intuitive tells me Damage Control is the far more likely candidate of the two for a series pickup.

Pilot Script Review - Once Upon A Time

ONCE UPON A TIME
Network: ABC
Written By: Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz
Draft Date: January 28, 2011
Pages: 58

Once Upon a Time is billed as a sort of Fables, a story where fairy tales come to life in a town in the real world. This is both literally true and entirely misleading.

The pilot presents a twin story structure. One, in the Fairy Tale Land, where we begin with a familiar scene of Prince Charming finding Snow White dead in a glass coffin. He kisses her, she wakes up, yadda yadda yadda, happily ever after. Or is it? We play out what happens next, which involves the Evil Queen (hey, I thought she died in the fairy tale? Just the Disney version?) cursing the happy couple, their as-yet-unborn child, and the entire land, then Snow and Charming doing everything in their power to prevent said curse: no more happy endings.

Meanwhile (at least on screen, certainly not chronologically), in the real world, 28-year old Anna Swan is celebrating her birthday by tricking a man via an online dating website into having dinner with her so she can apprehend him. She's a bailbondsperson (or bounty hunter, though that term isn't used). She finds people for a living. So it's quite ironic that, when, following this "date," she settles into her apartment for a lonely birthday dessert and her doorbell rings and it's Henry, a 10-year old boy claiming to be her biological son. Anna did give a baby boy up for adoption 10 years ago, so there's no time spent on any sort of verification, which is fine.

Henry is quite precocious, not to mention manipulative and resourceful. He carries an aging, illustrated book that seems to contain the fairy tale we're watching unfold as he tries to convince Anna to come home with him to his hometown, Storybrooke. As he attempts to manipulate her (she threatens to call the cops, he says he'll tell them his biological mother kidnapped him... it's actually quite amusing), she tells him that she has a kind of superpower that she doesn't understand or know where it comes from... she can tell when people are lying. Anyway, Anna relents and agrees to take get him home (even if, at first, it's just putting him on a bus... but he causes a scene and she is forced to drive him).

As they're driving, Henry takes out his book of fairy tales... and tells Anna that she's in it. She looks at him, with her ability to sense is anyone is lying, and Henry certainly believes that he's telling the truth. It plays into a very "fairy tale" theme of "do you believe?" Henry is bringing Anna back to town... to fix it. He believes Anna can break the curse. Time is stuck in Storybrooke, according to Henry. Even the clock tower is stuck at 8:15. Anna will fix all that because of what he read in the fairy tale book.

They arrive at Storybrooke and Anna takes Henry home. His adoptive mother is the mayor... who looks exactly like the Evil Queen. Anna stays the night, as it's late when they get to town, and we see other denizens of the Storybrooke, all of whom look like figures from our glimpses at Fairy Tale Land or are in some way associated (i.e. Geppetto is a handyman). Anna meets Snow White's lookalike, Sister Mary Margaret Blanchard, a nun and Henry's teacher. She apparently gave Henry the book that's given him all these crazy ideas.

Anna is going to leave the town, nothing has changed, and Henry is disappointed... so runs away. Anna is able to find him and, once again, return him to his adoptive mother, and decides to stay another week.

And the clock strikes 8:16.

I wish I were more satisfied by the end of Once Upon a Time because it's just the kind of "one foot firmly planted in reality, one foot firmly planted in fantasy" mixture that I adore. I guess, in the wake of Enchanted (regardless of if that movie kind of sort of falls apart in the third act but is still totally winning)... the problem is that everything in the fairy tale world works, going from cheesily over the top to heart-wrenching (and I choose to not spoil what that is and what Anna's connection to it all is), but things in the real world feel like they move at a snail's pace, comparatively, and just aren't as delectable. The end of the episode feels like what should be an act two break. It's all prelude leading to... episode two? Is this a series? Or a miniseries? There doesn't feel like there's really that much juice in it. Yes, I want to know what happens next, but I feel pretty cheated that I don't find out even a hint of it in this pilot.

There's also a big gap between the events in fairy tale world and the real world that makes things in reality feel nebulous and leads to a lot of questions. On one hand, yes, I'm tantalized and want to know the answers, but without knowing those answers, I'm not sure the events we see make any sense. And while there has to be a certain suspension of disbelief... things still need to make sense!

If the residents of Storybrooke are "frozen in time," as Henry describes, then when did it materialize? The town seems a little antiquated, but in a very real world, sleepy New England village way.

If the Evil Queen was apparently victorious in her curse... why does she also seem to be affected? Does she really not remember? She's very cordial to Anna, so if Anna is a threat to her curse and an enemy and she does remember... why not just do away with her?

If no one in the town can leave (again, something Henry dictates from the book), then how was Henry adopted by the Evil Queen? If she's affected (again, as she seems to be)... she can't leave, either.

I'm also just not sure how much we care about this town. In the real world, yeah, there are d-bags like the embezzler guy Anna hunts down in the first act, but "no happy endings?" It doesn't feel like that. What does lifting the curse mean to us, if anything, or does it just impact the lives of the fairy tale characters who are frozen in time and don't remember their pasts / true lives?

To sum up... a mixed impression. I want to know more, mostly because I'm confused, partially because I kind of want to know what any of it means. But I'm not sure how much I care.

Pilot Script Review - The Rememberer

THE REMEMBERER
Network: CBS
Written By: Ed Redlich & John Bellucci
Draft Date: January 8, 2010
Pages: 69

Ah, The Rememberererer.

Ironically, I hadn't rememberered that I read this script last year until I was around 10 pages in. Then I rememberered that I had utterly neglected all review duties last year, so there was no official review to point back to... so I had to reread the next 59-ish pages.

All very frustrating when you rememberer that you vehemently disliked the overly long script the first time you read it.

I refuse to devote a lot of time to this one. It's awful. It's preposterous. It would be great if it were a parody of The Mentalist or other CBS crime dramas, but it's utterly serious.

Carrie Wells is an ex-detective who "has the ability to remember everything." It makes her great at things like solving murders and counting cards, but is a pain in the ass when you're in a taxi cab that inexplicably only plays radio with music from the 1980s and 1990s and therefore fills in your backstory by forcing you to have brief memory flashes of your past or when, say, a lover betrays you and you are literally unable to forget that betrayal.

I'm not saying the above can't work. Because all of those things are entirely dramatically valid. I can totally see it as a book. I'm just saying it doesn't work, here. It doesn't work on a regular basis or on a crime-of-the-week level.

Carrie, no longer a detective when the story begins, lives one floor beneath a woman who was murdered and is swept into helping solve the murder when her ex, a detective with the NYPD, brings her on as a consultant because there's no evidence. She has the perfect memory and can step back into moments in time to see things like a missing photo on a wall in an apartment that the police can use for clues since they have no productive leads of their own.

Carrie has a tragic backstory, of course. Her memory stems from a traumatic event from when she was 8 and is called hyperthymesia. Through the course of the pilot, she begins to rememberer bits and pieces that she never recalled before about the traumatic event. Why, precisely, the memories are starting to filter back in now as opposed to years before when she was a cop isn't explained, though it's conjectured that if she can rememberer what happened (involving the death of older sister Rachel), then she'll be cured of her hyperthymesia.

The pilot uses a visual trick to get Carrie to find clues. If she was in any given place at any given time, she remembers it as if it's recorded on a DVR and can go back, step out of herself, and rewatch a scene unfold, noticing details, dialogue, etc. The memories are of course limited to things she heard or saw, so she doesn't have, for instance, a full 360° picture of the past. The edges of her vision are blurry and then blank.

One must assume that in future episodes, should CBS choose to lump this in with its plethora of crime dramas, that Carrie would not have a personal connection to each victim. So, on all other cases that she's consulting on... I'm not precisely sure what function she serves besides having an eye for detail that, honestly, most competent cops on TV shows tend to have.

Part of me hopes the show is picked up just so I can make more rememberererer jokes. But I won't be watching.

Monday 03/21/11 Final Cable Ratings

Pretty Little Liars (ABCF, 8pm)
- 3.635 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49
- 3.0/9 W18-34
- 5.0/18 T12-17

Intervention (A&E, 9pm)
- 1.240 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Heavy (A&E)
- 1.084 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Rip the Runway (BET, 10pm)
- 1.565 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Bethenny Ever After (BRAVO)
- 1.344 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

American Pickers (HIST)
- 5.605 million viewers
- 3.4/5 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

Pawn Stars (HIST, 10pm)
- 6.449 million viewers
- 3.8/6 HH
- 2.4/7 A18-49

Pawn Stars (HIST, 10:30pm)
- 6.261 million viewers
- 3.8/7 HH
- 2.2/7 A18-49

Skins (MTV)
- 1.165 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 1.0/3 W18-34
- 1.6/7 T12-17

Bad Girls Club (OXY, 9pm)
- 1.567 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49
- 2.0/6 W18-34

All About Aubrey (OXY)
- 0.551 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.6/2 W18-34

Being Human (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.195 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Stargate Universe (SYFY)
- 0.814 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.260 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

19 Kids and Counting (TLC)
- 1.239 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

All Worked Up (TRU, 9:30pm)
- 1.375 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

WWE Raw (USA, 9pm)
- 4.975 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

WWE Raw (USA, 10pm, 68 minutes)
- 5.265 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49

Wedding Wars (VH1, 9pm)
- 0.225 million viewers
- 0.2/0 HH
- 0.1/0 A18-49

Beverly Hills Fabulous (VH1)
- 0.629 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Love and Hip Hop (VH1, 10:30pm, 31 minutes)
- 0.815 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Sunday 03/20/11 Final Cable Ratings

Breakout Kings (A&E)
- 2.037 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Real Housewives of Orange County (BRAVO, 10pm)
- 1.776 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Good Luck Charlie (DISN)
- 3.336 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49
- 2.9/11 T12-17
- 4.3/15 K2-11

Shake It Up (DISN)
- 3.636 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 3.6/12 T12-17
- 4.8/17 K2-11

Suite Life on Deck (DISN, 9pm)
- 3.314 million viewers
- 2.1/3 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 3.4/11 T12-17
- 4.1/16 K2-11

Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!)
- 1.724 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49
- 2.1/6 W18-34

Holly's World (E!)
- 1.370 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Chopped (FOOD, 9pm)
- 2.710 million viewers
- 1.6/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

Big Love (HBO, 9:04pm, 62 minutes)
- 1.565 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Ax Men (HIST, 9pm)
- 2.727 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Army Wives (LIF)
- 3.841 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 1.3/3 A18-49
- 2.2/5 W25-54

Coming Home (LIF)
- 1.922 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49
- 1.1/3 W25-54

Californication (SHO, 9pm, 28 minutes)
- 0.369 million viewers
- 0.3/0 HH
- 0.2/0 A18-49

Shameless (SHO, 10pm, 47 minutes)
- 1.101 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 7pm, 138 minutes)
- 2.662 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 9:40pm, 139 minutes)
- 3.408 million viewers
- 2.1/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TRU, 7:30pm, 144 minutes)
- 2.215 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Sister Wives (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.774 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TNT, 6pm, 153 minutes)
- 4.408 million viewers
- 2.6/5 HH
- 1.7/6 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TNT, 8:52pm, 133 minutes)
- 4.408 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49

Monday 03/21/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Dancing with the Stars (122 minutes)
- 22.657 million viewers
- 14.2/22 HH
- 5.3/15 A18-49

Castle (58 minutes)
- 12.032 million viewers
- 7.7/13 HH
- 3.1/9 A18-49

How I Met Your Mother
- 8.028 million viewers
- 4.9/8 HH
- 3.0/9 A18-49

Mad Love
- 6.525 million viewers
- 4.1/6 HH
- 2.4/7 A18-49

Two and a Half Men (R, 31 minutes)
- 9.236 million viewers
- 6.0/9 HH
- 2.7/7 A18-49

Mike & Molly
- 9.702 million viewers
- 6.0/9 HH
- 3.0/8 A18-49

Hawaii Five-0 (59 minutes)
- 10.013 million viewers
- 6.2/11 HH
- 2.9/8 A18-49

Chuck
- 4.230 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

The Event
- 4.106 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Harry's Law
- 8.427 million viewers
- 5.5/9 HH
- 1.6/5 A18-49

House (61 minutes)
- 9.492 million viewers
- 5.6/9 HH
- 3.4/10 A18-49

The Chicago Code (59 minutes)
- 6.164 million viewers
- 3.7/6 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

90210 (R)
- 0.686 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.3/1 W18-34

Gossip Girl (R)
- 0.527 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.2/0 A18-49
- 0.2/0 A18-34
- 0.2/1 W18-34

Sunday 03/20/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

America's Funniest Home Videos (R)
- 6.844 million viewers
- 3.8/7 HH
- 1.5/5 A18-49

Secret Millionaire
- 10.292 million viewers
- 6.1/10 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

Shark Tank
- 6.136 million viewers
- 3.6/6 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

Detroit 187
- 4.652 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (5:04pm, 135 minutes)
- 8.816 million viewers
- 5.6/12 HH
- 2.9/12 A18-49

60 Minutes (7:19pm)
- 11.943 million viewers
- 7.5/13 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49

The Amazing Race (8:19pm)
- 10.129 million viewers
- 5.7/9 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

Undercover Boss (9:19pm)
- 11.698 million viewers
- 6.9/11 HH
- 2.8/7 A18-49

CSI: Miami (10:19pm)
- 10.930 million viewers
- 6.6/12 HH
- 2.6/8 A18-49

Dateline
- 5.130 million viewers
- 3.5/6 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

American Next Great Restaurant
- 3.775 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

Celebrity Apprentice (120 minutes)
- 8.169 million viewers
- 5.1/8 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

The Simpsons (R, 7pm, 29 minutes)
- 2.447 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 1.0/4 A18-49

American Dad (R)
- 2.930 million viewers
- 1.7/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

The Simpsons (R, 7:59pm, 31 minutes)
- 4.641 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49

Bob's Burgers
- 4.429 million viewers
- 2.6/4 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Family Guy (31 minutes)
- 6.551 million viewers
- 3.9/6 HH
- 3.3/9 A18-49

The Cleveland Show (29 minutes)
- 5.450 million viewers
- 3.2/5 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

Adaptation Fail: MTV's Skins

Now that the US version has finished its season (series?)... I think it's time to point out precisely what went wrong.

No, it's not "just" casting.

The pilot was, with a few exceptions to be able to be broadcast (gone was Tony's hilarious comforter), pretty much a shot-for-shot remake. The plot was the same. Yet, it didn't have a lot of the magic... it lacked the bite of the UK original. The little touches. The flair. The joy. It adhered so close, visually, the the UK pilot and was so intent on being a lookalike that it forgot the soul.

It was neutered.

And, for the most part, that trend continued, but only by matching episode-to-episode, UK-to-US, did it become clear just how neutered MTV's Skins truly was. Probably encapsulated best in a comparison of the episodes "Anwar and Maxxie" and "Abbud." Tony sleeping with a lesbian in the American version? It was a "translation" of the UK's Tony kissing Maxxie, a gay male, and even attempting to perform oral sex.

How very American-acceptable (honestly, how was the PTC offended by *this* version of Skins?)

This, literally, showed how the American version had no balls. Sorry, but lesbians kiss on (American) TV all the time (okay, not really, but let me make my point). A horny, straight dude who could pretty much have any girl he wanted making out with the gay guy? While the gay guy was having a crisis about the state of his friendship with "good Muslim boy" Anwar, who essentially ended it over his religion? *That* was translated into Abbud crushing on Tea, the swinging-both-ways-self-proclaimed lesbian. Lame. Especially given how deftly the UK show later handled a lesbian relationship and plotline.

Also, the whole plotline about Anwar seeing a young Russian he mistook for being abused by her father (but was actually her husband) was turned into thinking there was a creepy shadowy man in the wood of Canada.

Maxxie was fun. Tea... not so much.

But way more than Maxxie/Tea, the Cassie/Cadie translation missed the mark. Cassie is probably one of my favorite TV characters (for, and because of, all her many, considerable flaws). She's just... infectious. Despite drug-habits and eating-disorders... wow. Right? "Oh, wow." She just made you smile ever time she was on screen. Because she was that special kind of loopy-hilarious-sad-lovable. America's Cadie is just sad, and was for the entire run.

And I didn't really care about Cadie and Stanley, whereas Cassie and Sid is just magic. Painful, awesome, teenage romance magic.

But, again, this is *not* just about the casting (although, honestly, could they have found a less appealing young teacher for Chris to have an affair with than Anastasia Phillips' Tina?)

I don't know if the American version's writers (which include UK Skins co-creator Bryan Elsley) just wrote it out or couldn't capture the American version of the joy so embodied in those kids in the original version (particularly, the joy of Maxxie and Cassie, but even the Tony's haughty version of joy that led to his end-of-season-one takedown).

Frankly, I think that might be the true missing ingredient. MTV's Skins lacked joy. And without it... everything fell apart. "You shouldn't have to jump for joy" is a lyric from tonight's (baffling, limp) finale.

I wish MTV's attempt at Skins had jumped for joy.

Friday 03/18/11 Final Cable Ratings

Flying Wild Alaska (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.792 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

American Loggers (DISC)
- 1.360 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Boxing (ESPN2, 9pm, 120 minutes)
- 0.522 million viewers
- 0.3/1 HH
- 0.1/0 A18-49

Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO, 10:01pm, 57 minutes)
- 0.917 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

1000 Ways to Die (SPIKE, 10pm, 34 minutes)
- 1.044 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

WWE Smackdown (SYFY, 8pm, 120 minutes)
- 3.097 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Merlin (SYFY)
- 1.388 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TBS, 6:41pm, 129 minutes)
- 2.496 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 0.9/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TBS, 9:08pm, 138 minutes)
- 1.797 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.290 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TNT, 7:12pm, 136 minutes)
- 1.182 million viewers
- 0.8/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TNT, 9:47pm, 149 minutes)
- 1.485 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TRU, 7:28pm, 157 minutes)
- 1.474 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TRU, 10:24pm, 142 minutes)
- 1.485 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Friday 03/18/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Supernanny
- 4.351 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 1.0/4 A18-49

Primetime: What Would You Do?
- 4.971 million viewers
- 3.1/6 HH
- 1.5/5 A18-49

20/20
- 4.798 million viewers
- 3.1/6 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (7pm, 168 minutes)
- 4.054 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 1.3/5 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Between Game Break (9:48pm, 11 minutes)
- 3.903 million viewers
- 2.6/5 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (9:59pm, 139 minutes)
- 4.451 million viewers
- 2.8/6 HH
- 1.6/6 A18-49

Who Do You Think You Are? (R)
- 4.305 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Dateline (120 minutes)
- 7.044 million viewers
- 4.8/9 HH
- 1.4/5 A18-49

Kitchen Nightmares
- 3.742 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 1.6/6 A18-49

Fringe
- 3.797 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 1.3/5 A18-49

Smallville (R)
- 1.425 million viewers
- 0.8/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49
- 0.5/2 A18-34
- 0.5/2 W18-34

Supernatural (R)
- 1.346 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49
- 0.4/2 A18-34
- 0.4/2 W18-34

Thursday 03/17/11 Final Cable Ratings

The First 48 (A&E, 9pm)
- 2.072 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 0.8/3 A18-49

Manhunters (A&E, 10pm)
- 1.718 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Manhunters (A&E, 10:30pm)
- 1.496 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Kathy Griffin: 50 & Not Pregnant (BRAVO)
- 0.815 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Man vs Wild (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.455 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Archer (FX, 10pm, 31 minutes)
- 0.931 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Jersey Shore (MTV, 10pm)
- 6.596 million viewers
- 4.2/8 HH
- 3.4/10 A18-49
- 6.3/21 W18-34
- 5.9/23 T12-17

TNA: Impact (9pm, 121 minutes)
- 1.781 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball (TBS, 6:45pm, 130 minutes)
- 1.404 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TBS, 9:07pm, 166 minutes)
- 2.437 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TNT, 7:08pm, 136 minutes)
- 1.349 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TNT, 9:38pm, 138 minutes)
- 1.609 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TRU, 7:20pm, 141 minutes)
- 1.505 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (TRU, 9:58pm, 148 minutes)
- 1.009 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Fairly Legal (USA)
- 4.044 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Thursday 03/17/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

Wipeout
- 7.162 million viewers
- 3.9/7 HH
- 2.1/7 A18-49

Private Practice (61 minutes)
- 5.970 million viewers
- 4.1/7 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49

Off the Map (R, 59 minutes)
- 3.859 million viewers
- 2.6/5 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (7pm, 149 minutes)
- 4.670 million viewers
- 3.0/6 HH
- 1.5/6 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Between Game Break (9:29pm, 19 minutes)
- 4.765 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.7/6 A18-49

NCAA Basketball Game (9:48pm, 139 minutes)
- 4.046 million viewers
- 2.6/5 HH
- 1.4/5 A18-49

Community
- 4.152 million viewers
- 2.6/5 HH
- 1.7/6 A18-49

Perfect Couples
- 2.882 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

The Office (R, 31 minutes)
- 3.775 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.5/5 A18-49

Parks and Recreation (29 minutes)
- 4.076 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

30 Rock (31 minutes)
- 4.192 million viewers
- 2.7/5 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49

Outsourced (29 minutes)
- 3.594 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

American Idol (61 minutes)
- 19.566 million viewers
- 11.2/20 HH
- 5.7/19 A18-49

Bones (59 minutes)
- 11.613 million viewers
- 7.0/12 HH
- 3.3/10 A18-49

The Vampire Diaries (R, 93% coverage CW normally 95%)
- 0.860 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.4/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Nikita (R, 93% coverage)
- 1.259 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.4/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Pilot Script Review - Untitled Susannah Grant Project

UNTITLED SUSANNAH GRANT PROJECT
Network: CBS
Written By: Susannah Grant
Draft Date: January 7, 2011
Pages: 66

This feels, very, very much the prototypical CBS procedural pilot with one minor (and, in my opinion, completely superfluous, but it's the only thing that makes it anything other than completely normal) twist.

This is a medical procedural about Michael Halstead, wealthy neurosurgeon to the rich and the famous. He's got his own surgical center. Yeah, he's that guy. All work, no family to go home to. The closest thing is his sister, Didi, and her troublemaking teenage son, Milo (who Michael does not want to play father figure to... so, guess what, at the end of the episode, Michael allows himself time to start bonding with Milo). Michael doesn't need family. Again... he has work. And he's the best.

But all isn't good in Michael's life. He's been having a recurring dream about a bouncing red ball with a smiley-face and car bumpers. Quelle horreur! He also bumps into Anna, his ex-wife, when he's picking up some take-out — the usual — from a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant. She's apparently been in Los Angeles at a free clinic for 8 years and hasn't told him. He's insulted, but she follows him home, they talk... and he wakes up to find her gone. When he looks into her free clinic... he finds out she's dead. Killed in a hit-and-run (while chasing a ball some kids were playing with).

Being a neurosurgeon, Michael researches what this hallucination might be and even goes so far as to get an MRI done and evaluate himself. No tumor. Perhaps it's the side effects of the Percocet he's been taking for pain in his shoulder following a surgery (if that were the case, it'd be way too similar to a development on House a couple seasons ago, where the acerbic doctor was seeing the ghost of Cutthroat Bitch because of his vicodin addiction... not that the script points this out because why would it). He doesn't know, but it definitely seems like Michael is seeing a ghost or a spirit (Didi's boyfriend Anton, a Native American faith healer, "confirms" this).

Anna keeps popping up asking him to do things. She asks him to go to her clinic and give them the password to her computer so the clinic can keep operating (because she didn't train a replacement). Nevermind the fact that the clinic has called the Geek Squad and her password is six symbols and all letters. The Geek Squad just hasn't gotten there yet. Anyway, while Michael is there, he overhears a social worker trying to help a poor, scared mother of five and he eventually / begrudgingly tells them to come to his medical center and they'll get help for free (cue my eyes rolling at the plot about rich white man finding his soul and helping some poor minorities free of charge).

My problem is that the paranormal is utterly unnecessary to this. And, so, it comes across really forced and really, really bald (industry-speak for "not subtle"). Michael already knows what the password is, Anna tells him it's the same one it's always been. The only thing she ever does it shove him somewhere he's unwilling to go... and even then it takes a couple pushes. And when she's not pushing him to go somewhere or do something, she's playing conscience, at one point literally asking "Doing the right thing for the wrong reason — is it still virtuous? What matters more? The intention or the act?")

After a couple moments of Michael being told by Didi to see Anton about this ghost problem, Michael eventually goes and Anton begins to excise Anna... and then Michael stops him. He can't give up the ghost. So, y'know, she'll be sticking around. Hooray...?

Also really "bald" is the opening exposition about Michael and one of the cases of the week... a billionaire in a car crash, news footage of the exterior of the surgical center, reporters we never see explaining said billionaire is "presumably in the care of renowned neurosurgeon Michael Halstead..." In fact, that's not just "bald." That's what we call "pilot-ese."

Beyond Anna there are three cases of the week. The introduction is the rich billionaire who got into a car crash and almost severed his optic never. Then there's a 19-year old female tennis star on the verge of winning an in-season Grand Slam (she's won all but the US Open, which starts soon) but who, after a car crash, may have a brain aneurysm — treatment for which would mean she'd miss the tournament and her pushy father won't have that despite her meek mother's objections. And, finally, there's the case of Ines's family.

Again, it's all very standard. I imagine there's an audience for this. I'm just not among that audience.

Pilot Script Review - Ringer

RINGER
Network: CBS
Written By: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder
Draft Date: undated
Pages: 61

This must be the annual "not a typical CBS drama" CBS script.

So... are you shocked that I really liked it? Even though the first thing it made me think of was "I Know Who Killed Me" (the title, anyway, I didn't see the movie, and one wikipedia page later I was assured that Ringer and the Razzie-fied Lindsay Lohan trainwreck had little in common).

Ringer is a combination of things. It's a "be careful what you wish for" story. It's a case of mistaken identities (damn identical twins). It's upstairs/downstairs. It's part crime mystery and part family drama. It's structured as a "how did we get here" piece, with an opening moment to tease you just enough to let the story build a background before the shit starts hitting the fan (and then not getting to that teased opening until almost the final moments). There's even some twisty, intriguing gaslighting going on.

And, for about 8 pages in the first act, it's going to be Sarah Michelle Gellar playing off of herself, which I cannot wait to see. I try to not think about casting when I read these scripts, but when you have 8 pages of identical twins talking with / doing things with each other and no one else... well, you need a capable actor to pull it off.

We meet Bridget Cafferty, an ex-stripper/prostitute turned waitress, in an NA meeting in Wyoming.

Okay, technically we meet her as she's having her head bashed into the wall of a swanky Manhattan penthouse, but that's chronologically later.

While Bridget was stripping in a club owned by a Native American crime boss, Bodaway Macawi, she witnessed a murder and his trial depends on her testimony.

So, when Bridget disappears from her motel room the morning of the trial, apparently having beaten up the police officer guarding her, handcuffing him to the shower, and stealing his gun... things aren't looking good and the FBI agent involved with the Macawi case has to track her down. Macawi goes free after the case is declared a mistrial... and he wants to stay a free man, so of course he's going to do everything he can to silence Bridget.

Bridget goes to the Hamptons to be with her identical twin sister, Siobhan Marx, married to a wealthy Manhattanite, Andrew, who is away in London on business. Things are awkward at first, as the twins have been estranged for years to the point that Siobhan hasn't even told her husband that she has a twin sister (this, admittedly, is quite convenient). Siobhan has everything money can buy (including antidepressants)... but wouldn't you know it, she's not happy. No one's life is perfect.

Bridget, for her part, is scared and confused. Especially when she finds a bloody gun in her bags. And again when she falls asleep on Siobhan's speedboat out in the ocean and Siobhan seems to have drowned, leaving only "her signature Hermes scarf" floating on the water.

Bridget returns to shore and is mistaken by several people in Siobhan's life to actually be her twin sister. And, after a couple stumbling blocks... she decides to become Siobhan. Presented with a Hermes scarf and a life of luxury or a bloody gun that appeared in your bag... which would you choose?

But, remember, no one's life is perfect. Bridget is about to find out just how fucked up Siobhan's life is and that her twin sister wasn't exactly the best person in the world, and tries to fix some of these (admittedly "rich person") problems. For instance, Siobhan was cheating on her husband with the husband of her best friend. And that's really only the tip of the iceberg.

So, when she tells the masked man bashing her skull in that he has the wrong girl, "I'm not Bridget, asshole," and he replies, "Who the hell is Bridget?"

It's painstakingly clear that Bridget stepping into the wrong life.

The man was sent to kill Siobhan.

But Bridget can't back out now. The FBI has been tracking her down and even came by the Manhattan apartment to interview "Siobhan." So Bridget knows that the old deal she made to testify against Macawi is now off the table. She'd be headed to prison if she came clean.

There's another twist at the end that I won't spoil (and I've skipped by a heckuva lot of detail in Siobhan's life).

I, personally, really want to know what happens next. But, as I said above... there's not much about this script that screams "typical CBS drama." Here's hoping there's room on the schedule for something a little more outside the box.

Wednesday 03/16/11 Final Cable Ratings

Dog the Bounty Hunter (A&E, 9pm)
- 1.643 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Storage Wars (A&E, 10:30pm)
- 3.027 million viewers
- 1.9/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Top Chef (BRAVO, 10pm)
- 2.256 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Sons of Guns (DISC, 9pm)
- 1.564 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 8:06pm, 163 minutes)
- 2.892 million viewers
- 1.9/3 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 10:49pm, 139 minutes)
- 1.719 million viewers
- 1.2/3 HH
- 0.7/3 A18-49

Justified (FX, 61 minutes)
- 2.366 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Real World Las Vegas (MTV, 10pm)
- 2.155 million viewers
- 1.4/3 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49
- 2.5/8 W18-34
- 1.4/6 T12-17

1000 Ways to Die (SPIKE, 10pm)
- 1.244 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Ghost Hunters (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.690 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Face Off (SYFY)
- 1.494 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Hoarding: Buried Alive (TLC, 10pm)
- 1.257 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Hot in Cleveland (TVL)
- 1.558 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Retired at 35 (TVL, 26 minutes)
- 1.061 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49

Wednesday 03/16/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

The Middle (R, 8pm)
- 4.676 million viewers
- 3.2/5 HH
- 1.1/4 A18-49

The Middle (R, 8:30pm)
- 4.474 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Modern Family (R, 31 minutes)
- 5.887 million viewers
- 3.8/6 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Mr. Sunshine (29 minutes)
- 4.537 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

Off the Map (96% coverage ABC normally 98%)
- 4.213 million viewers
- 2.8/5 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Survivor
- 10.727 million viewers
- 6.0/10 HH
- 3.2/10 A18-49

Criminal Minds
- 13.727 million viewers
- 8.3/13 HH
- 3.6/10 A18-49

Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior
- 10.333 million viewers
- 6.5/11 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

Minute to Win It
- 3.310 million viewers
- 2.1/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (R, 9pm)
- 3.238 million viewers
- 2.1/3 HH
- 0.9/2 A18-49

Law & Order: SVU (R, 10pm)
- 5.253 million viewers
- 3.4/6 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

American Idol (120 minutes)
- 22.581 million viewers
- 12.9/21 HH
- 7.6/22 A18-49

America's Next Top Model
- 2.027 million viewers
- 1.4/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 0.9/3 A18-34
- 1.4/5 W18-34

Shedding for the Wedding
- 0.977 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.4/1 A18-34
- 0.6/2 W18-34

Pilot Script Review - The River

THE RIVER
Network: ABC
Written By: Michael Green
Draft Date: January 30, 2011
Pages: 60

Doctor Emmet Cole was the world-famous adventurer and star of a long-running wildlife and nature documentary TV show. Something like the Crocodile Hunter, but less about outrageous antics and more about the magic and wonder of nature. Doctor Emmet Cole has been missing for 6 months, ever since he took off on a trip down the Amazon River, claiming he was on the verge of a truly huge discovery. Three of his crew were found dead. He is presumed dead.

And, so, Tess Cole (Emmet's wife) tries to convince their 28-year old son, Lincoln, who was never able to find the "magic" in nature that his father forced on him as a child, to join her voyage down the Amazon to try and find her husband and his father. Tess still believes he's alive.

Lincoln is convinced his father is dead. He wants to head back to his life and finish his doctorate. But Tess reveals something: Emmet's emergency beacon's signal just went off, after six months. She's made a deal with a TV network, they'll pay for the trip which is the only way she can follow up on this lead. But they'll only pay if Lincoln goes, too. Lincoln, who wants nothing to do with being on TV again, relents.

Even though he had to be convinced to come, Lincoln is definitely the lead character here. The whole story is about activating him. Helping him discover the "magic."

So... it's on. Lincoln and Tess are joined by Emilio, who was Emmet's engine man for 23 years but was told to not come on this last trip, Emilio's similarly mechanically minded 17-year old daughter, Jahel (ha-yel), who only speaks Portugese, Clark, the longtime producer of the TV show, two cameramen Adjay and Sammy, and Reese, a bodyguard and ex-Navy captain.

These right, plus a team of crewmen, head down the Amazon on the S. S. Hopewell. They find the beacon... in an empty, submerged diving cage. It seems like a dead-end. The trip is over just as soon as it began. Until Lena Landry arrives. Lena is the daughter of Russ, one of Emmet's cameramen, also presumed dead on Emmit's trip down the Amazon. She's a fearless helicopter pilot and longtime friend of Lincoln's even though she was always much more attuned to the "magic" of nature than he was. She's pissed at Lincoln for not telling her about this trip to look for his father... and for her own.

And she has aerial pictures that she took when she was searching for her missing father and for Emmet, before the start of our story. She found the Magus, Emmet's ship. It's shoaled off a fork of the river that Google Maps dares not tread called the Boiúna. Local girl Jahel warns against going down there. No one who goes comes back. The S. S. Hopewell's crew won't go. But Tess is determined. So, split into two high impact lifeboats, the team of nine (Tess, Lincoln, Lena, Emilio, Jahel, Reese, Clark, Adjay, and Sammy) head down the Boiúna.

The rest? It's just too good to spoil. I wouldn't want to. It's pretty scary and in the grand tradition of carefully edited (perhaps "found footage" because who knows if any of them, eventually, survive) horror films with some nice character moments, especially between Lincoln and Tess as well as Lincoln and Lena.

The River is a show I can immediately get behind, with intriguing, imperfect characters that jump from the page and I want to know more about, a prescribed style (even if it's one I fear will be an immediate turn off for some due to what is sure to be an effusive amount of shaky-cam), and, well, it's just damn good.

It's also a show that seems like it would make a great horror movie... but as a TV series? How do you get multiple seasons out of this (in other words, how are they going to Lost this)?

Given the "documentary TV show" conceit, the script itself actually has a self-aware reference to this question when, stumbling on some of Emmet's secret video files and hearing Emmet say "the further we go up the Boiúna... the more physics breaks down, and reality... is so much... bigger," Adjay, the lead cameraman, says, "We just got a second season."

At the very least, The River should get a second episode out of it, as the remaining crew on the Magus continue down the Amazon in search of Emmet, following in his footsteps... the barely-glimpsed preternatural threat contained... perhaps.

The one gripe I have are the openings of acts two, three, and four, which are stark contrast "personal interviews" taken of various crew members. It's the familiar talking head interview thing. It fills us in, a little, on some character details... but mostly you just want to jump right back to the action following the act outs. So, if this pilot runs long, I suspect those would be the first things I'd cut. If I had any say over it. Even though, in the long-run, I can these personal interviews becoming necessary.

Tuesday 03/15/11 Final Cable Ratings

The Game (BET, 10pm)
- 3.622 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 1.7/5 A18-49
- 2.9/9 W18-34

Let's Stay Together (BET, 10:30pm)
- 2.010 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 1.3/4 W18-34

Million Dollar Listing (BRAVO)
- 0.972 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Real Housewives of Miami (BRAVO)
- 1.101 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.5/2 A18-49

Tosh.0 (CMDY, 10pm)
- 3.325 million viewers
- 2.1/4 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49
- 3.5/12 M18-34

Roast of Donald Trump (CMDY, 10:30pm, 90 minutes)
- 3.476 million viewers
- 2.1/4 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49
- 3.5/14 M18-34

Cupcake Wars (FOOD, 9pm)
- 1.310 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Lights Out (FX, 61 minutes)
- 0.688 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Only in America (HIST, 9pm)
- 2.671 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Top Shot (HIST)
- 2.072 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Teen Mom (MTV, 10pm)
- 4.524 million viewers
- 2.8/5 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49
- 6.0/18 W18-34 (higher than Glee's 5.7/19)
- 2.1/8 T12-17

What Not to Wear (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.082 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

What Not to Wear (TLC, 10pm)
- 1.033 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Joan and Melissa (WE, 9pm)
- 0.711 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49

Tuesday 03/15/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

No Ordinary Family (R)
- 3.403 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

V (61 minutes)
- 5.513 million viewers
- 3.4/6 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

Detroit 187 (59 minutes)
- 5.644 million viewers
- 3.6/6 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

NCIS (R)
- 12.748 million viewers
- 8.0/13 HH
- 2.2/7 A18-49

NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
- 12.482 million viewers
- 7.8/13 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

The Good Wife (R)
- 7.328 million viewers
- 5.0/9 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

The Biggest Loser (120 minutes, 97% coverage NBC normally 98%)
- 7.998 million viewers
- 4.9/8 HH
- 2.7/8 A18-49

America's Next Great Restaurant (R)
- 3.861 million viewers
- 2.4/4 HH
- 1.6/5 A18-49

Glee (62 minutes)
- 11.146 million viewers
- 6.4/11 HH
- 4.2/13 A18-49
- 4.3/15 A18-34
- 5.7/19 W18-34

Raising Hope
- 5.739 million viewers
- 3.3/5 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Traffic Light (28 minutes)
- 3.604 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

One Tree Hill (R)
- 0.806 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.5/2 W18-34

Hellcats (R)
- 0.741 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49
- 0.2/1 A18-34
- 0.3/1 W18-34

Pilot Script Review - Awakening

AWAKENING
Network: CW
Written By: Glenn David & William Laurin
Draft Date: January 2011
Pages: 55*

I don't like the font. Seriously. For some reason, this script wasn't written in a monospaced font, much less industry-standard Courier. It was annoying to read on a practical level for that reason.

*It also means that the page count isn't really 55, because monospaced fonts take up more room, so this is probably somewhere in the 60s.

But, y'know, I can get over that.

What I can't get over is, well, the content of the script. Depending on how you look at it, it's wildly imaginative or completely inane. I'm firmly standing by the latter.

I started my read knowing only the logline: "Two sisters on the verge of adulthood who find themselves on opposite sides of a zombie uprising."

Let's tackle this one piece by piece, as it's almost entirely misleading.

"Two sisters." Yes. Jenna and Jayce (and, note to new screenwriters out there... try to not name main characters with the same first letter, and if you must, at least make the names different lengths, because not only can it be confusing to a skimming reader... you can interchange them and not notice... like Glenn and William did once or twice).

"On the verge of adulthood." Well, Jenna Lestrade is 30, and Jayce is 25 even though she ACTS like she's 16. So, no.

"Who find themselves on opposite sides of a zombie uprising." Easily the most confusing part of the logline. How the hell are two sisters going to be on opposites sides of A ZOMBIE UPRISING!? And have that be part of a continuing series?

Here's what the logline isn't telling you.

Jenna and Jayce are both zombies.

Yes, gentle readers, the zombies in Awakening are walking, talking, sentient beings with an ability to fit into normal life and, on a mere whim, "zomb out" meaning go from a "normal" look to, y'know, decayed flesh. Also they age and can have babies.

It's... a departure, for sure.

There's a point made by a zombie about how human (or "pre-dead") movies present them as lumbering, thoughtless brain-eaters. But... isn't that what fans of zombie movies like? Isn't that what they're looking for? I get that you want your zombies to be different. But you've basically just made them into undead cannibals. The mindless, decayed, ravenous horror is what's so frightening!

And, of course, Jenna, an ADA and a recovering bulimic when we meet her, is the family's "vegetarian" zombie (there's always a vegetarian...) meaning she doesn't eat human flesh. She's trying to fit into human society and even has a human boyfriend, Matt, who doesn't know her secret. Her parents don't know about him, either (there's a lot of "racism" overtones to the whole zombie vs human thing).

Jayce is an "organic" zombie. She likes her meat fresh. She likes to hunt. Which is a problem for her parents, because the whole "zombie" thing isn't out there in human society. They don't know zombies still exist. They did know, once, back in the 60s, when there was an "Awakening" which seems to be the "uprising" the logline refers to. Evan, Jenna and Jayce's father, is a survivor of the war (and a battle at a nearby tourist trap called Dellamore that gave me hope because it was a vague, off-hand reference to a hilarious zombie film with Rupert Everrett called Dellamorte Dellamore), and doesn't want to see that happen again.

So he and his wife, Eunice, get corpses from a restaurant, Macoute's, that has suppliers from morgues, medical labs, pathologists, etc. And the flesh is cooked.

The moment I stopped reading the script as a seriously toned zombie story and said, "wait, I think this is supposed to be campy horror comedy" was when, at the family dinner, Evan asks Eunice to pass him the lady fingers.

Y'know, like, a bowl of real lady's fingers.

Groan.

So, I adjusted my mind to be critical of what I thought I was reading. Campy horror comedy. If the entire story had been in the Lestrade household, or at least in that tone, it would easily have won me over. Because that's some seriously campy, over the top shit. It could be zombie Dark Shadows.

Unfortunately, that's a minimal part of the pilot and there's the rest of the story, which is so drawn out and mind-numbing I refuse to look back at pages to summarize it.

Yes, some humans do know about the zombies. And there's a zombie hunter closing in on Jayce through a circle of friends (who want to start a new Awakening) she keeps. Naturally, he turns out to be Matt's father, and as he's said that zombie hunting is passed down through families, even though Matt shows no signs of knowing anything about zombies, it implies in the future that he very well could be coming after Jenna.

Here's the problem, as I've said above.

It's a departure. It's too far from the "zombie" lore we're used to, and it simultaneously commits the same mistake I felt Secret Circle did... there isn't enough "normal."

Whereas I looked at Secret Circle through the lens of The Vampire Diaries (same source material author, same two producers adapting it), I think Awakening, more than anything, wants to be the True Blood of zombie television series. So let's look at it like that.

Yeah, there's the gore, the camp, the horror. But it's from the wrong point of view, and you really don't get much in the way of seductive romance between Jenna and Matt.

We're not in the POV of Sookie Stackhouse and the residents of Bon Temps dealing with their first real vampire coming to town in the aftermath of the vampires "coming out of the coffin" (granted, I definitely do not think the pilot of True Blood was its strongest hour). We're in the POV of the zombies. Lots of zombies, who have their whole culture and community and it's all just immediately thrown in our faces without anyone besides Jenna, the vegetarian zombie, to connect to on an emotional level.

Is an audience really going to connect with Jayce, the homicidal, human-hunting, flesh-eating zombie? She's not even a delicious villain in the way you knew Damon Salvatore was going to develop into in TVD, or Eric Northman in True Blood (who... not introduced until, what, episode 10 of the first season?)

There's a reason Twilight was told from Bella's POV. There's a reason Elena is the main character of The Vampire Diaries. There's a reason Sookie is the main character of True Blood. They're the humans (okay, that's not entirely true of Sookie). They're us. And a crazy world is unfolding around them and we get sucked into it with them, as they fall in love with a "vegetarian" representative of the supernatural. Jenna, who in the preceding examples would be the Edward/Stefan/Bill, is the main character, instead of her human love interest.

There's also a reason why most zombie fiction (that I'm aware of) is about the human survivors. That's what we connect to. Survival.

Awakening lacks both those things. It's missing the human side.

UPDATE: Oh, I forget to mention something I tweeted about as I was reading. Let's play a game of "You know it's a CW script when"! You know it's a CW script when even the mid-50s mother character, Eunice, is described as "sexy." I'm not saying people in their mid-50s can't, or aren't, sexy. I just think pointing it out is a very "CW" thing to do in the script.

Monday 03/14/11 Final Cable Ratings

Pretty Little Liars (ABCF, 8pm)
- 2.939 million viewers
- 1.9/3 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49
- 2.6/8 W18-34
- 4.0/14 T12-17

Intervention (A&E, 9pm)
- 1.478 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Heavy (A&E)
- 1.338 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Bethenny Ever After (BRAVO)
- 1.235 million viewers
- 0.9/2 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 8pm, 153 minutes)
- 2.722 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

NBA Game (ESPN, 10:33pm, 151 minutes)
- 2.788 million viewers
- 1.9/4 HH
- 1.3/4 A18-49

Skins (MTV)
- 1.107 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49
- 0.6/2 W18-34
- 2.0/8 T12-17

Bad Girls Club (OXYG, 9pm)
- 1.461 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Being Human (SYFY, 9pm)
- 1.372 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Stargate Universe (SYFY)
- 0.928 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Cake Boss (TLC, 9pm)
- 1.675 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/1 A18-49

Outrageous Kid Parties (TLC)
- 1.005 million viewers
- 0.6/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

19 Kids and Counting (TLC)
- 1.273 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Lizard Lick Towing (TRU)
- 1.900 million viewers
- 1.2/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

All Worked Up (TRU, 10:30pm)
- 1.524 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Adventure Time (TOON)
- 1.958 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49
- 1.5/5 T12-17
- 3.0/10 K2-11

Mad (TOON)
- 1.926 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 0.2/1 A18-49
- 1.7/6 T12-17
- 2.9/10 K2-11

Regular Show (TOON, 8:30pm)
- 1.551 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.2/0 A18-49
- 1.4/5 T12-17
- 2.3/8 K2-11

WWE Raw (USA, 9pm)
- 5.431 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

WWE Raw (USA, 10pm, 80 minutes)
- 5.871 million viewers
- 3.2/6 HH
- 2.3/6 A18-49

Basketball Wives (VH1)
- 1.896 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Wedding Wars (VH1)
- 0.607 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Beverly Hills Fabulous (VH1)
- 0.726 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.4/1 A18-49

Love and Hip-Hop (VH1)
- 1.037 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Sunday 03/13/11 Final Cable Ratings

Breakout Kings (A&E)
- 2.387 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49

Real Housewives of Orange County (BRAVO, 10pm)
- 2.051 million viewers
- 1.5/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49

Good Luck Charlie (DISN, 8pm)
- 3.052 million viewers
- 2.0/3 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49
- 2.5/10 T12-17
- 4.0/14 K2-11

Kourtney & Kim Take New York (E!, 10pm)
- 2.066 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 1.1/3 A18-49
- 2.3/7 W18-34

Holly's World (E!, 10:30pm)
- 1.627 million viewers
- 1.1/2 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 1.9/6 W18-34

Chopped (FOOD)
- 3.529 million viewers
- 2.0/3 HH
- 1.5/4 A18-49

Iron Chef America (FOOD)
- 1.696 million viewers
- 1.0/2 HH
- 0.8/2 A18-49

Big Love (HBO, 9:04pm, 55 minutes)
- 1.373 million viewers
- 0.8/1 HH
- 0.6/2 A18-49

Ax Men (HIST, 9pm)
- 3.096 million viewers
- 1.8/3 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Army Wives (LIF)
- 3.356 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49
- 2.0/5 W25-54

Coming Home (LIF)
- 2.457 million viewers
- 1.6/3 HH
- 0.9/3 A18-49
- 1.4/3 W25-54

Californication (SHO, 9pm, 29 minutes)
- 0.633 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49

Shameless (SHO, 10pm, 49 minutes)
- 1.124 million viewers
- 0.7/1 HH
- 0.5/1 A18-49

Sister Wives (TLC, 9pm)
- 2.232 million viewers
- 1.5/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

Basketball Wives (VH1, 8pm)
- 1.358 million viewers
- 0.9/1 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

Monday 03/14/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

The Bachelor (121 minutes)
- 13.876 million viewers
- 8.7/14 HH
- 4.5/13 A18-49

The Bachelor: After the Final Rose (59 minutes)
- 13.964 million viewers
- 8.8/15 HH
- 4.7/13 A18-49

How I Met Your Mother (R)
- 5.985 million viewers
- 3.8/6 HH
- 1.9/6 A18-49

Mad Love
- 6.447 million viewers
- 4.0/6 HH
- 2.1/6 A18-49

Two and a Half Men (R, 31 minutes)
- 9.930 million viewers
- 6.3/10 HH
- 2.6/7 A18-49

Mike & Molly (R)
- 8.365 million viewers
- 5.4/8 HH
- 2.2/6 A18-49

Hawaii Five-0 (R, 59 minutes)
- 7.451 million viewers
- 4.7/8 HH
- 2.0/5 A18-49

Chuck
- 4.922 million viewers
- 3.0/5 HH
- 1.6/5 A18-49

The Event
- 4.264 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Harry's Law
- 10.163 million viewers
- 6.5/11 HH
- 1.8/5 A18-49

House
- 10.414 million viewers
- 6.2/10 HH
- 3.5/10 A18-49

The Chicago Code
- 7.302 million viewers
- 4.4/7 HH
- 1.9/5 A18-49

90210 (R)
- 0.635 million viewers
- 0.5/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.4/1 W18-34

Gossip Girl (R)
- 0.486 million viewers
- 0.4/1 HH
- 0.3/1 A18-49
- 0.3/1 A18-34
- 0.5/1 W18-34

Sunday 03/13/11 Final Broadcast Ratings

America's Funniest Home Videos
- 7.435 million viewers
- 4.2/8 HH
- 1.7/6 A18-49

Secret Millionaire
- 11.434 million viewers
- 6.7/11 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

Desperate Housewives (R, 61 minutes)
- 4.802 million viewers
- 3.1/5 HH
- 1.2/3 A18-49

Brothers & Sisters (R, 59 minutes)
- 3.103 million viewers
- 2.2/4 HH
- 0.7/2 A18-49

60 Minutes
- 10.459 million viewers
- 6.7/12 HH
- 1.7/6 A18-49

The Amazing Race
- 9.440 million viewers
- 5.3/9 HH
- 2.7/8 A18-49

Undercover Boss
- 11.783 million viewers
- 6.7/11 HH
- 3.0/8 A18-49

CSI: Miami
- 11.851 million viewers
- 7.0/12 HH
- 2.7/7 A18-49

Dateline
- 5.705 million viewers
- 3.6/7 HH
- 1.1/4 A18-49

America's Next Great Restaurant
- 4.063 million viewers
- 2.5/4 HH
- 1.4/4 A18-49

Celebrity Apprentice (120 minutes)
- 8.134 million viewers
- 5.0/8 HH
- 2.8/8 A18-49

The Simpsons (R, 7pm, 29 minutes)
- 2.280 million viewers
- 1.3/2 HH
- 1.0/3 A18-49

American Dad (R, 7:29pm)
- 2.605 million viewers
- 1.5/3 HH
- 1.2/4 A18-49

The Simpsons (7:59pm, 31 minutes)
- 5.424 million viewers
- 2.9/5 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

Bob's Burgers
- 4.104 million viewers
- 2.3/4 HH
- 2.0/6 A18-49

Family Guy (R)
- 4.903 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 2.5/7 A18-49

The Cleveland Show
- 4.639 million viewers
- 2.8/4 HH
- 2.4/6 A18-49