Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Um

So, two things. One, I haven't been getting ratings this week, so while I have been busy, I haven't been posting the finals because, well, I don't have them.

Second thing... Jason Castro is officially ruining this season of Idol for me. Yes, I'm fine with Brooke going home (and, jeez, what's America's problem with Syesha?) But Jason sooooooo deserved ejection both of the last two weeks.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

This is hard!

Oh, Paula, I love you most of all.

Seriously, though, it's time for the muppet to go. Damn, Carly would've done such a bang-up job with the Neil Diamond songbook.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Shape of Things to Come

Still pissed about the "cliffhanger" from "Meet Kevin Johnson". Now that it's confirmed (through the promos, anyway) that it was the boatpeople... that really would've made for a better cliffhanger (the reverse shot of Keamy). Whatever. Strike-related bygones.

Jack is not taking antibiotics. He's starting to take painkillers. His addiction is starting. I insist.

Um, why is Dr. Ray washing ashore on the Island?

HAHAHAH, Hurley's "We're all gonna die" soundbyte is over a game of Risk. "Australia's the key to the whole game." Tell me that isn't prescient.

Numbers alert: the password to the fence around the Barracks is 1623... inasmuch as it alerts people that the fence is off. Damn, things are really moving this episode.

IT'S A BEN EPISODE! WTF is that Dharma symbol on the Halliwax PARKA he's wearing in the SAHARA? When is this? We still haven't found out about those polar bear remains CS Lewis found in Tunisia. Weird seeing Ben so utter at someone else's mercy. Only HE'S SUPER SECRET AGENT ACTION HERO BEN.

Faraday: When is kind of a relative term.

I love that one of the first nameless people who got killed was wearing a red shirt. How the hell are they missing Sawyer (this must be Storm Trooper logic/rules).

Well, that bazooka shot seems to explain partially why Kate is raising Baby Aaron in her flashforward. I say seems to because I'm pretty sure major character deaths happen on screen in this series, so I'm 99% sure Claire is alive (for now).

Ben is in Tunisia. And he says he's been before, but it's been a while. Oh, Ben, must you make me ask if you're lying about everything!? No one actually buys that his name is Dean Moriarty, right...? Damn illiterate, unwashed masses. It's October 24, 2005. That's roughly 10 months ahead of "Island time". But Ben *asking* about the year... hm. Has he become unstuck in time, like Desmond in "The Constant"? Ben sees Sayid on a TV... he wants to bury his wife (Nadia?) in peace.

Hurley and Aaron are both Oceanic Six. They both get off the Island. Hurley's carrying Aaron around right now. Making a mental (and blogger) note of it. Follow that baby!

Yup, Claire's not dead. Yet.

HAHAH, they RING the DOORBELL.

Aw, it was Nadia. That's sad. Um... remind me. Late 2005 in Iraq... war still going on? How about the state of Tikrit? Because that's where Ben is. I know in the show, that's where Sayid was born. So, I guess we're seeing the beginning of the "Ben pwns Sayid" plotline. And they're killing Widmore's people (I guess that explains some stuff about "The Economist") OMG. I drive through La Brea and Santa Monica EVERY DAY. Please, show, give me an address for where Nadia was killed. I've got nothing better to do tomorrow at 8:42am as I head into work. Dammit. Thanks for nothing, show. Huh. I wonder if Widmore's people are going to start killing the off-Island connectors we've seen in the flashbacks?

This shit is too tense for 10pm (or, as I'm watching it... after midnight).

Damn, Ben is so fake-heartless it hurts with his "she means nothing to me" stalling.

Um. No. No they DID NOT kill Alex. But if they did, kudos for doing it from the Ben's POV shot. Man, how much do we want Smokezilla to kill Keamy dead right now?

Ben: "He (they?) changed the rules." Creepy! Is that the "mystery box" door?

Sayid flashfoward backstory! Blanks, filled in! Huzzah!

OMFG BEN JUST SUMMONED SMOKEZILLA. TO DO HIS BIDDING. Wow, I guess it really is a security system.

Ben cries over Alex's corpse. That's the first time we've really seen him vulnerable. I'm sad now. Damn, they actually killed Alex. Fuck, we're really not gonna get our Rousseau flashback.

Morse code is great and all, but it's not very entertaining television.

Sawyer: "Who the hell is Jacob?" Amen, brutha.

Hurley has a badass moment. Nice.

Ben Linus. Face to face. With Charles Widmore. The shape of things to come, indeed. Why can't Ben kill Charles? Nevermind... Ben is going to kill Penny. My heart just fucking dropped.

What the hell are these rules Ben is talking about, and how did Charles change them? Dammit, show.

Big Night

OMFG so much TV tonight. I've decided that Grey's and Lost are must-see tonight. After that, if I'm still awake, I'll do The Office and possibly 30 Rock. Ugly Betty and Scrubs can wait.

Anyway... Grey's is back! Despite the "eh" of the fourth season following the crap of the end of season three... I'm thrilled. Excited. Will the show come back strong? I don't know if it can reclaim the "do no wrong" magic of the second season... but I'm excited. Mer is finally seeing a psychologist. Good idea. Mer isn't talking to the psychologist... sigh. For this show to truly get back on track, Mer needs to find her path. The resident contest seems entertaining enough... I want to see more of cutthroat Cristina. And less of cockroach-killing George (or just less cockroaches). Love Izzie freaking her swollen ankle patient out (incidentally... Cheech!) Love Hanh/Callie. Want to see as few scenes that have both George and Izzie in it as possible. Mer's sister (WTF is her name?) trying to see how hospital supplies could substitute for home furnishings, cutlery, bowls, etc. Jason O'Mara... well, ABC is trying to get their mileage out of his million dollar holding deal. And Clea Duvall! I miss Carnivale. Yay, Mer forced through medical case to interact with Derek... sorta. Almost. I'm waiting for the metaphor for the "intestines in the hand!" Remember medical cases as metaphors? It's been so long... Bailey calls Yang a kiss-ass. I want to see George back with Callie (maybe it will be a brain tumor). Although it seems like they're pointing him in the direction of Mer's sister (WTF is her name?) Aw, Mer continues to shut down all attempts by her sister (WTF is her name?) to connect. Bad, Mer. Hah, Sloan wants to have a manslut contest with Derek. Chief: "Yang, no running in the hospital!" Izzie does as Izzie used to do... care so damn much for her patient that she's actually (semi-)convincing to Bailey that she's more concerned with finding whatever might, might be wrong with her patient than the contest. Mer screams "Tumor!" as she gives a "touchdown" signal. LOL. This episode has been really enjoyable. It's not great, but it is fun and if they can bring the fun back to this show... then I'll be pleased. Maybe it's just the halo of OMFG NEW GREY'S! Aw, the scene with Alex and the Chief is kinda touching. I really hope they bring Karev's abusive father into the show to give him a plotline like all the other young people have had. "Interesting" how there are ads for Dempsey's movie and the DVD release of Heigl's ;) ABC's ads for Lost have actually been pretty well tailored to attract women (a lot of emphasis on Ben's daughter being in danger... oh, heartstrings). OMG the sparkle pager. That is a fantastic idea. From a "could be hilarious" point of view. From a "emergency surgery, lives hanging in the balance" point of view... the height of Mt. Dumb. I'm confused about why Mer, Cristina, Karev, and Izzie are the only residents participating in this contest. It's been a point of contention of mine throughout the show, and especially this season since the characters became residents instead of Bailey's interns (who, for interns, scrubbed in on a lot of surgeries). Whatever. TV magic... Aw, George is giving a thesis statement for the show... he's going to stop complaining and start focusing on what's good. That was a nice episode. Very pleasing. Not a great episode for this show (which you wouldn't know from the above... I tend to flail about various moments in Grey's and then realize the sum of the parts doesn't have quite the same magic as the parts did).

The next time, though... Addison is back. Ugh, and she's gone the way of Alyson Hannigan... why won't TV let us have our hot redheads with their natural, fiery hair color? But. She's back and she's going to tell Meredith to fight for Derek. Only Addison could. Only Addison has the right to. Excitement!

May Sweeps

So, May Sweeps begins tonight, and brings with it... NEW LOST. Also new Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty.

It's going to be a late night, so I'm not sure which programs I'll be watching on my TV and which I'll try to catch up on during brief moments of respite at work on Friday (since there's also Scrubs, The Office, and 30 Rock to watch).

Also, new Grey's and Lost will continue through two weeks after May Sweeps. So watchable network television won't end for another three-to-four months with the Idol finale on May 21st.

Weird to not have the Lost finale on against the Idol finale... but wise on ABC's part. First season it competed, but after that... not so much.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Mulligan?

Okay. Reality recap.

Top Model. We're in Rome! Hooray... ish. Lauren still can't walk. She can't stand up straight. And she gets sent home. Two weeks too late. Claire would've kicked the crap outta that CoverGirl commercial (which, really, they had a TON of lines to memorize in a foreign language).

Top Chef. This was not a particular inventive week for the challenge, instead it was just "look, here's another curve ball we're throwing under the guide of 'improvisation'. That said this was the first week where the judges basically said "all the dishes were good, so we have to get really nitty-gritty". I really wish Lisa had gone home, because I can't stand her... but oh well.

American Idol. Um... recount? This is a sad, sad surprise elimination on Idol. I mean... the bottom two was entirely wrong (and without there being a bottom three... inexcusable). But Leona Lewis sang (unlike Mariah) which was awesome. Mostly because she vocally puts every Idol contestant, like, ever to shame (possible exception: Fantasia). Still. This elimination, and this bottom two, is an embarrassment. Embarrassing for America, really, considering, um... the Jason and Brooke of it all. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't suck hard. It was nice both Carly and Syesha got to perform again tonight... because it shows how wrong this was. And I really wish the judges would've said so more often and more loudly and with more "shame on you" judgment. But, hey, if Kelli Pickler gets a recording contract... Carly will. You know, the above is all a little unfair... this was the right Top 6 (or, rather, if Michael Johns had made it to Top 7, it would've been the right Top 7). And within their niches (and every one of these six people have different styles of music... none of which was musical theatre), every one of these Top 6 ought to get a contract and has the potential to be a star (even Jason). Next week is Neil Diamond... WTF. Did they forget about CONTEMPORARY MUSIC!? They haven't done a single week where the theme lets the contestants choose songs from, like, the last 5 years. Travis is UNHAPPY.

Are You Interested?

A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila is back. And, um... it's just as trashy-delicious as ever. In fact, it might be more trashy-delicious. Even if I've heard that outside the show Tila has a steady boyfriend... whatever, she knows entertainment (in its lowest common denominator form).

Semi-related, semi-serious question: can one script a reality television show? I mean, when I get together with friends and watch Top Model, we can say exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to go down... so I think it's possible, in elimination-based shows. Thinking of the financials... you have your series regulars (your "host", your judges), and you have guest cast in the form of mentors and "contestants" (the trick is figuring out exactly what the fake competition is... there was a terrible The Amazing Race ripoff sitcom script for CW last development season). The standing sets would be the home of the "contestants", the "confessional", and the judging room... which isn't a ton, so you'd have a lot of stage space (and presumably an ample enough construction budget) to play with. Not a heck of a lot of locations, or even necessarily exterior shooting. You could probably knock the whole thing out in 7 shooting days (two days at the "house" and doing confessionals, two days at judging, and three days at the various challenges).

But what about non-elimination shows? For instance, The Hills (which I've never watched). First of all, it's apparently partially scripted... would one be able to pull something like that off in full-scripted mode? Like, could one fake a show like Gossip Girl and have it set in "the real" Upper East Side? The actors would have to be very good improvisers, because, if The Hills are an example, they'd have to be out and about and "in character" 24/7...

Sigh, I should stop thinking about these things this late at night...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Great White Way

So, the judges think this is going to be a tough week for the contestants. I disagree. The main problem this season, apparently, hasn't been the talent, it's been the connection to the songs and the personalities showing up on stage. Well, if there's any cure for that... it's showtunes.

Syesha knocks "One Rock and Roll Too Many" out of the park. But she's in first position so unless people fuck up royally, she's going home (and is almost certainly Bottom Three fodder).

The idea of Jason singing musical theater scares me. Also his interviewing scares me. The result... kinda truly astoundingly awful. I don't even like Cats, but I'm pretty sure he skinned a couple up there on the Idol stage. There has to have been a better song in the ALW songbook for Jason to sing, something better suited to his vocal range (or lack thereof). I fear for Brooke. But I'm also schadenfreuding to Jason potentially going home.

I love "You Must Love Me." Goddamn, I hope Brooke sings this well. She's been flailing, to be honest, since the first Beatles week. Oy, she stumbles at the top of the song again. That's twice this season... not sure she should get a(nother) "start over". This needs to be amazing to make the judges not tear into her. I actually liked that she didn't do the expected power belt note at the end, instead going towards the breathy theatrical ending. Ultimately, the judges reprimand... but forgive? Sorta?

David Archuleta is singing a song that's supposed to be sung in a big, operatic soprano (IIRC). Yeah. "Think of Me" is one of the most well known songs in this songbook... and David A chruns out a kinda pop-ballad version. Not sure how I feel about it. He sings really well... if drearily. But I'm just not sure how I feel about it (this is like sacrilege... btw, Phantom was the first musical I ever went to, so, yeah). He does keep his eyes open for the first time, like, ever... tween girls are gonna go nuts.

Carly gets lessons in choosing songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber. WOW. Why have none of the other mentors helped her with her tragic song choices? Because she was TOTALLY off the mark with "All I Ask of You" and this performance ROCKS. Not her best vocal, not her most controlled, but it ROCKS.

David Cook... grew up doing musical theater? Combine this with Our Lady Peace being his favorite band and I just don't think I can judge this book by its cover or sleeve any longer. He's doing "Music of the Night", though... pre-performance swoon. This is the Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber song. Thank gawd he didn't change this song up, he just did it straight. The first time he's done the original version of a song that I think has been anything more than mediocre. It's not as good as his "Eleanor Rigby", "Billie Jean", or "Always Be My Baby". But whatever. It was "Music of the Night".

Either Jason or Brooke would be going home if this was based on this week's performance alone. But it's not. Syesha will fill out the bottom three with Jason and Brooke, and will probably go home.

Monday, April 21, 2008

OMFG

Oh, Little J...

I've decided that I really, really, really missed Gossip Girl. I do know the exact episode that the show stopped being something I watched because it was "so bad it's good" and made for very easy ridicule and became, well, obsession. Regardless... it was severely missed (by me, anyway, we'll see the ratings in the morning) the last three months and this was a very good episode to come back on. Mostly because it reminded me of why it is the guiltiest of pleasures. Every week is like watching a new trainwreck. It is impossible to stop staring.

Meanwhile...

"Sandcastles in the Sand" happened on HIMYM. I haven't been able to get the song out of my head for the last week. And what a FANTASTIC episode. Barney/Robin! Who'd've thunk it (would ever leap from fanfic to canon)? Why does everyone in Canada on HIMYM sound like they're from Ireland? Also... they totally uglied the Beek. I mean, even more so! The whole conversion when Marshall and Lily become Robin's parents. Can we keep Michelle? The robot!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Let's Try This Again...

Dear NBC's Comedy Night Done Right,

Try and do better this week.

Thanks.

Me.

30 Rock. The good news is it starts with Liz entering Jack's office. Jack refers to Chuck Norris as "C Nor". And there's a news ticker! Yay! "Democrats excited about upcoming depression" "NORAD puts cybords in charge of SkyNet" "Zombie spokesman..." "... complicated happens in Africa" "Baby bottle found on Mars". I think I like the SkyNet one best... just because, y'know. Exonerated Dateline predator. Now this is a teaser that excites me. It has to do with TGS and is has Jack imposing some awkward horribleness on Liz.

Kenneth: "Oh, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the lord's name."
Jack: "That's Republican, we count those."

... is that the real Stanley Cup!? DotCom's explanation of why Lincoln wouldn't recognize the modern Republican party. "We used to call this the Jew room." The gossip column thinks Liz is Sally Field. "Who is Conan O'Brien and why is she so sad?" "When I grab on, I do not let go. Like a killer whale going nuts on its trainer at Sea World." "God bless that wiretapping bastard!" "Shut up, crowd!" "Now that's fetch" (work it, Tina Fey!) "If reality TV has taught us anything it's that you can't keep people with no shame down."

The Office. Man, I remember having to walk a half mile to work... that sucked. This show really speaks to me sometimes. ZOMG, Jim is going to propose to Pam (next week)!

Over Logged

Penultimate South Park!

A bit weird that there's an episode two weeks after the episode about the Writers' Canadians' Strike and about getting money for Internet intellectual property... there's an episode about "what if the Internet stopped working?"

I'm sure it'll be hilarious, though. You know you've spent hours laying in bed wondering what would happen if the Internet stopped working. It's frightening. And you know it.

Wednesday Night Reality TV

Watched Top Model and Top Chef at a friend's. Unspectacular episodes. Top Model was particularly felt manipulative... this is the last cycle for me. Claire's ejection last week sealed it.

American Idol... skipping past the first couple acts, Ryan has started splitting groups into the left and right. I'm sensing a Jennifer Hudson-esque exit, remember season three when George Huff (or whatever his last name is) had to choose which group of three to join at the end and everyone was shocked when the three divas were the bottom three (he chose them as the group he thought was not the bottom three and was told to join the other contestants)?

As we head into the last contestant (and you knew it was gonna be cute-as-a-button David A)...

Left group: Jason, Carly, Syesha
Right group: David C, Kristy, Brooke

So, obviously, David C is somehow in the bottom three and that's this week's "shocking lesson". No way he goes home, though... right? This doesn't make too much sense, though, because you have the four girls evenly split between the two groups, and they were all varying degrees of mediocre, and you have Jason and David C, who both got pretty high praise.

Mariah performs. Thankfully, it's not "Touch My Body". That was done on SNL a few weeks ago and it was just not good live. I love that Mariah's ear thing (ugh, I can't remember the acronym for that thing you put in your ear and it plays the music so you stay on pitch) is all glittery. And her jewel encrusted microphone and mic-stand. Diva!

Okay, now David C is being told to switch with Syesha, which says to me that the group now containing Brooke, Kristy, and Syesha is somehow the safe group, while one of Jason, David C, and Carly are going home (Jason!)

Gotta hate the Idol producers for making David A do this. Why are people surprised? This is a rerun.

Or not, and it's the Brooke, Kristy, and Syesha who are in the bottom three.

That was a waste of time and suspense.

If Brooke leaves before Kristy, I will be very put out by Middle America.

Oh, thank god. Now, Middle America, vote Democratic in November (you know you want to... even if both candidates keep trying to dissuade you with their, like... actions... and words...)!

Not that Kristy was, by any means, Sanjaya... but this was the week Sanjaya went home, too. And now we have the Top 6 and, really, 6 incredibly different styles of vocalists.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Top 7

So Mariah couldn't have gotten a better week to be the mentor, could she have? The very day her album drops, and she performs live tomorrow. Yowza. Perhaps Madonna will follow suit in two weeks for the Top 5???

Anyway, let's get to it...

David A - "When You Believe" - He's such a great technical singer, and I liked the falsetto. But I dunno, the kid lacks emotion in his technically-near-perfect singing. It's all so rehearsed. When are we going to get a raw performance from this kid?

Carly - "Without You" - Simon wipes the floor with Carly's performance... oy. I... kinda... agree... with... Paula...? I liked her restraint at the top of the song. I'm actually not familiar with Mariah's version, so I have nothing else to really say about it as far as it being an "okay" version or not.

Syesha - "Vanishing" - Again, not terribly familiar with this song. It was nice to see Mariah actually giving singing instruction... walking Syesha through some possibilities for an arrangement. Syesha looks amazing, but about 2/3 of the way through the song, she loses herself to the big, runny part of the song. The judges are more forgiving.

Can I just say that I like this section of the competition, where the contestants get to sing more than 90 seconds of the song?

Brooke - "Hero" - Now here's a song that's got a soft spot for me (this and "Always Be My Baby"... yeah, I'm a big girl inside). I wonder how Brooke is going to handle it because I'm fairly certain she doesn't have the chops to do the original arrangement of this power ballad (though she totally ha the vulnerability). This excites me. I was a bit let down by it... instead of attempting big notes (that she probably can't hit) she sits behind the piano and effects key changes. It was nice to have a stripped Brooke back... and no backing band at all! That's commendable. Still unspectacular... but this week really didn't lend itself to Brooke's strengths (being that almost every song in Mariah's songbook require huge vocals).

Kristy - "Forever" - Another song people (myself included) probably aren't familiar with. Out of seven singers (thus far five), only two really well-known songs? What gives? After a couple weeks of legitimate improvement... Kristy takes several steps back and, at long last, should be the one going home. Snooze.

David C - "Always Be My Baby" - Oh, dear lord. It's another "incredibly risky, it's either going to be truly amazing or going to be the worst thing ever". Are there rock covers of this song out there? Again, again, David lands on the "amazing" side. His voice reminded me a lot of the lead singer of Lifehouse tonight (at least I think it's Lifehouse... it reminded me of something, but I couldn't put my finger on it, really...) So, basically, the idea for David is to choose a really well known song and do a version completely different from the "accepted" version. Because whenever he does the original/accepted version of a song, it's been little more than mediocre.

Jason - "I Don't Want to Cry" - From the video package... he's busting the guitar out again. So, for me anyway, we've got three well known songs and four lesser known songs. Ooh, Mariah's thoughts at the end of the package are "I wonder if he's going to take my advice". *crickets* Surprisingly, no guitar for Jason! Not digging this. But I never dig Jason.

Bottom 3: Really, any of the girls... though I would personally put Jason here.
Gone: Kristy (or bust)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Mondays, Busy Mondays

So, next week I have to make a decision. Thank god Chuck isn't back until next fall (can't believe I just wrote that) because come next week I have to decide which two of Gossip Girl, Bones, and Big Bang Theory + How I Met Your Mother I'm going to FauxVo. Damn you, 8pm.

Meanwhile, I watch nothing at 9pm or 10pm (which will change when House returns in two weeks).

For now...

HIMYM - Funny, but unremarkable episode. Nice to know that Ted is still dating Stella, though it's making me think that she CAN'T be the mother... because I feel like there's going to be some "and that is how I met your mother" voice over (and then the series will just continue has a non-linear romantic sitcom).

Big Bang Theory - Too early in the show's run to bring in a Sheldon 2.0 (the kid who is out-Sheldon-ing Sheldon). Remember when Wonderfalls did it in the second episode that aired? Even if it was supposed to air third (or whatever). Too soon! Still, this is a punch line-y episode full of LOL and I'm enjoying it. I'm confused, though, wasn't there an episode that aired earlier this season with Sheldon and Leonard presenting a paper together (and then they were fighting so Leonard did it himself since it was his experiment in the first place)? Way to work the marketing slogan ("smart is the new sexy") into the dialogue.

Bones - Last season, I wouldn't have been so excited about the return of Bones. What a difference a year and an incredibly intriguing serial killer mystery makes. I've always loved the banter and the unresolved sexual tension, but this fall, Bones moved from "save for the weekend, if you get to it" to "watch the night it airs, or else". Even if tonight's installment isn't Gormogon-related... welcome back, Squints (and Booth)! I don't have a ton to say about the episode... it was, for all intents and purposes in a show that has added some serial elements, filler. But there's also something wise about that... do a solid episode without the serial elements when you come back to invite people back into the tent without the back story that would be necessary in a serialized episode (or for a serialized show). "You said no changees and no take backs!" Booth has a Philadelphia Flyers mug in his office (David Boreanaz is a Philadelphia native).

Next week: the long-delayed murdered college basketball player episode (with some alterations because the Angela/Hodgins story is in a different place now that it was last season when the episode was pulled). So, probably no Gormogon next week.

The strike hiatus has, in the ratings, hit comedies less than dramas, and procedural shows less than serialized shows (did you see the Desperate Housewives ratings? Even with its creative upswing, it lost a ton of viewers in the three month break... Grey's Anatomy is gonna be hurting bad when it comes back on the 24th, I suspect). I'm curious to see how Bones is affected as it is a hybrid and given that it's also returning on a different night than it was airing on in the fall.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Welcome Back

The Desperate Housewives spring premiere is finally here! So much goodwill has been engendered form me to this season throughout the fall section of the season that, for the first time since the second season premiere, I really, truly have been waiting with bated breath to find out what happens next on Wisteria Lane.

But first, I really enjoyed tonight's The Simpsons episode, featuring the return of Lurlene Lumpkin. The only episodes that seem to have much continuity in The Simpsons are the Sideshow Bob ones and ones dealing with Homer's mother (thanks to "That 90s Show", I can no longer say the same about Homer and Marge's courtship... sigh... even if it did poke fun at the fact that it's long been accepted that Homer impregnated Marge and she had Bart basically right out of high school, but there are a missing 10 years of their lives together...) Anyway, it was nice to have Lurlene back (as well as Colonel Homer, Marge's grating teeth, etc etc etc). And some entertaining Britney Spears parallels (IMHO).

Back to Wisteria Lane...

So, Katherine (apparently) killer his first husband. Not a huge shock, but huzzah to Dana Delany for playing this potentially arch character so human, so controlled, so subtle. Can't wait to find out the whole truth about this.

And bravo to the show for having all the ladies (minus Edie, see later) in the opening moments in an easy, breezy scene that really reminds us who each lady is.

Susan's accountant cousin is ick... but the show very, very much needs those "slightly forbidden love" and "hot male actor" elements, so I say keep him for a little while (and for the love of god, don't bring back Jesse Metcalfe... we're done with him!) Since he knew Katherine Mayfair as Katherine Davis, I suspect he'll be around for a bit and will help us get to the bottom or the mystery... in one way or another (see ick, add sleeping with Dylan Mayfair... although they've been keeping the person he's sleeping with off screen, so I'm actually suspecting it's not Dylan so much as it's Katherine).

How much do I love Lynette for getting her family to go to church, going to Bree's church, and ASKING QUESTIONS after the sermon after introducing herself as Bree's friend. Price. Less.

Edie needs to go. I'm sorry, but she no longer has a plot, and though she's playing that "Wicked Witch of Wisteria Lane" role so campily, it just serves to take time away from the other characters who, shock!, have interesting plotlines. And make room for more Dana Delany.

Also, Carlos, now blind, needs to go. I suspect that the "OMG SPOILER" TVGuide information about the closing moments of this season will address the removal of both he and Edie, as well as letting Felicity Huffan work without the post-chemo head covering (and wigs). At least, if they do what has been reported, these are issues that can be taken care of (though I suspect anything permanently fatal happening to Edie or Carlos would happen onscreen over these seven hours). The only way to free Gaby from her on-off relationship with Carlos is to, well, off him. It can also get rid of Julie.

Actually, now that I'm 2/3 through the episode, can Gaby leave? I mean... pulling physical comedy pranks on the blind (even if it's to get him to admit that he's permanently, not temporarily, blind)? That's low. Hahah, she just said "do you really think I'm that shallow?" Yes, Gaby. Yes. We do. Aw, that scene turned out so touching. Now I'm actually feeling bad about the above, predicting Carlos' imminent death so that Gaby could move on. Layers, people. She's growing layers.

OMG IT WAS KATHERINE. I'm not so sure this lowers the "ick" on Cousin Timmy, but... hey, whatevs! "By the way, your boob is out." That whole scene was genius. GENIUS.

The Bree/Lynette church/faith plot has been both touching and comic, but I really don't need to hear phrases like "faith shouldn't be blind" when a different character's plotline actually is about blindness.

More on Katherine/Timmy... so their Gabrielle Solis / John Rowland esque affair (seriously, the 16 year olds on Wisteria Lane are just naturally inclined to be hot for the housewives... must in the water) happened 12 years ago. Just around the time Katherine left Wisteria Lane before. Hm. And, lo and behold, it seems Tim Tim (I'm going to keep trying these on for size to see if any stick better than the others) witnessed her killing (or not) her first husband.

Wow. I LOLed more during this episode than I did through Thursday's The Office (which, upon second viewing, was better once I got over the gross misfire that was returning to the airwaves with an episode not set at the Dunder Mifflin office... but I still didn't see it at anything resembling a series best).

Bravo, Desperate Housewives, and welcome back.

I'm recording Eli Stone (which I stopped watching after three episodes) because, what the hell, but I won't post about it unless I manage to make it through the whole thing... I'm curious how the show has changed and if it has improved.

... okay, so I made it through the episode. The show is not nearly as whimsically fanciful as it was (at least in this episode). A marked improvement. It was easy to follow the continuing plots I didn't see since I stopped watching. I'm intrigued if/how they continue with this earthquake cliffhanger, mostly because it is an interesting way to turn the show's premise on its head. In as much as it is an event that could make other people start really believing Eli (which it would seem they do not do) just as he is headed into surgery to get the aneurysm that may/may not cause his visions. It would be interesting for this Thursday's episode's cliffhanger to leave Eli on the operating table, his survival in question... especially if it turns out to be a series finale instead of a season finale, as it would put the question of faith to each viewer for how it turns out. Probably not how it'll go down, but whatever.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Comedy Night Done Right

So I don't watch Earl. But I do watch the other three comedies on NBC Thursdays. So let's get laughing, shall we!?

30 Rock. We left this show with what was either an inspired or insipid musical number in "Episode 210" (snerk). And we open on... MILF ISLAND. FRAK YES. I love that Frank's hat just says "or". "Erection Cove". "How long is this gonna take? Our pizzas are downstairs and the tribunal is about to make one of the last four MILFs hang up her bikini top". The MILF Island elimination phrase is "We no longer want to hit that". How did Pete get his shirt off? Not enjoying his runner... it's kinda hackneyed. It better have pay off! Hahah, Kenneth the Page hiding behind a cutout of Wolf from American Gladiators. Where is Jenna? "Chocolate chocolate chocolate, ack!" "The truth will come out. Like my cousin Stephen after he went to music college, it will come out." Brit Ishman.

A "B-" episode. Not the worst of 30 Rock, but far, far, far from the best.

The Office. My talking heads are back! Oh, dear, there's a video camera in Michael and Jan's bedroom. Tuna!!!!! Andy has a coat, a sweater wrapped around his neck, a shirt, and a turtleneck on. Something about this episode is off... I kinda wish the show came back with an episode that took place AT THE OFFICE. "You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!" THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

A "C". Really not that funny. Very disappointing. Awkward situation ≠ definitely hilarious.

Scrubs. It's late. If there's anything really amazing, I'll post tomorrow.

Idol Cuts One

I'm would at all be surprised with Idol not going the route it went last season by having a non-elimination week. It would be a little too predictable. Plus it would be a slap in the face to viewers who, this year, knew going into Wednesday there would be no elimination that night (and about 20% of regular viewers didn't tune in at all)... so why have the Thursday night special edition if you weren't going to send someone home? I mean, besides the ratings.

I am surprised Michael is going home (take that, the ascot). Still, looking at him... he could EASILY replace the guy who plays Mike Traceur on the new Knight Rider.

The show is obviously running short, because they are really extending this "Michael leaves" section WAY too long. So I suspect a "rug pulled out from under him" moment. But it doesn't come. Poor guy literally had to stand there for ten minutes waiting to sing his goodbye.

Meanwhile, what'd people think of the three presidential candidates' videos? I was equal on Hillary and Obama... but, wow, McCain should not do comedy.

Idol Gives Back... to Whom?

So I'm fast forwarding through the random sections of Idol Gives Back (what, it's after midnight...) and I see Teri Hatcher getting pissed at Carrie Underwood as James Denton fixes her "dressing room" sink. And I'm thinking... wow, ABC could not have asked Fox for a better promotional platform to help relaunch Desperate Housewives (which returns this Sunday! Yayz!) Plus... Band From TV! I was surprised the camera gave so little time to Hugh Laurie and Jesse Spencer (who are, y'know, on a Fox show). Of course, this came during the 7:30-8pm half-hour, probably the least watched section of the night.

Oh, dear lord... they let DAVID BECKHAM SPEAK. That is just so wrong. At the same time, Idol certainly is one of those shows that features people who have voices much different than their bodies... so I guess it's appropriate? Still.

In other news, South Park was funny and a rare "typical sitcom format" episode (A-plot, B-plot). These are my least favorite episodes of South Park because the plots don't even try to come together at the end, and that's one of the things South Park does soooo much better than most comedies. That said, the way the show used the Pregnant Transgender Man and the Ear Rat to get Ms. Garrison back to Mr. Garrison was inspired, as was Cartman becoming an inner-city teacher (as soon as he brought out the razer and started to shave his head, my brain really did flash to "Stand and Deliver" and damn if it wasn't hilarious) teaching the "White People Method" of how to cheat to get ahead (plus all the New England Patriot-bashing). Love it. But, again, it doesn't come together at the end, which is sad because it could've been that much better. Still funny, though!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Inspiration Week on Idol

Warm fuzzy feelings!

I have a bit of time tonight so I'm actually gonna do an Idol post!

Did I hear right, that the Idols are going to be phoning it in for charity tomorrow night? Loverly...

Michael - "Dream On" - He was off pitch. Though I liked when he broke into falsetto. I don't think any of the guys have done that so far this season. Still... eh. Paula's comment about him sounding as good as he looks... what a backhanded slap in the face! Honestly, I don't think he's as good looking as he was at the start of the season. And whoever dressed him... what the hell was with the scarf?

Syesha - "I Believe" - I love Syesha, and I've (mentally, anyway, since I haven't been doing big Idol posts in recent weeks) defended her when she has gotten to take on the big songs (even if I would have preferred others had gotten to sing them). But enough is enough. She broke the cardinal rule... don't sing Idol winner songs! Because, really, Fantasia wipes the floor with Syesha. Syesha can sing the notes... but she totally lacks the emotional connection with the song. In fact, that's been a theme this season... generally amazing singers, but not yet amazing vocalists. They can sing the songs. But has a single one of this talented bunch come close to tears while singing their hearts one (not that Fantasia's performance of "Summertime" should be the barometer for all Idol performances... but it is a bar). Maybe Brooke during her "Let It Be"? And not that all of the contestants should bring me to tears... David Cook, for instance, doesn't have that style.

Jason - "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Well, it's definitely a version more appropriate for Jason than what McPhee sang. But again... technically good singing. But my knees aren't weak. Just like his "Hallelujah", I don't get what the judges adore about this performance. Which is really weird because I literally buy into the vibe of music Jason sings. Le shrug.

Kristy - "Anyway" - I'm kinda surprised she isn't busting out "Amazing Grace". Anyway... my god, has Kristy always had swimmers' shoulders? It's an incredibly appropriate song for Kristy. And everything about Kristy literally sparkles (her tank top, her belt, her glitter-laden make-up). Her best performance? Possibly.

David C - "Innocence" - Our Lady Peace is David C's favorite band? Oh, my he just lost points with me. I mean... favorite? David runs into a problem this week... I think the first verse is too fast for him. Also, his best performances have been when he takes a cover version with a very different arrangement than the original version of the song... and when he isn't doing that, it actually appears (IMHO) to be a safe, normal, blah performance rather than ZOMG TEH AWSOME2. Ugh, that "give back" thing on his hand was cheesy. Well, he's not going anywhere.

A tangent... Paula's boobs have to fall out of that thing at some point, right?

Carly - "The Show Must Go On" - Carly singing Queen... I wonder if Michael wanted to sing this but Carly got it? I demand Carly sing Evanescence if she gets the chance. The things I bet she could do with Amy Lee... the background drowned her out a bit, no? I don't know if it was an angry performance, but it was definitely not an inspiring one.

David A - "Angels" - Can I just say that I love this song, before hearing him say it? It is haunting, beautiful, and makes Robbie Williams classy... which is HARD, ya'll. Like, I cannot listen to this song without getting choked up. That moment about four minutes into the song, where his voice breaks oh-so-slighty, the hint of desperation... sigh. That's what I'm talking about, connection emotionally to a song. Archuleta singing it seems appropriate. Sigh. He sings it will. Sometimes I wish he'd stick with the melody more. He's a far superior singer to Robbie Williams. Somehow, Robbie's is more haunting. Again, again, again... amazingly talented singer, just not enough emotional connection. I disagree with Randy. This wasn't as good as "Imagine". Simon says the song was never a hit in America... huh. Could've fooled me. I need to go listen to it (and have it give me goosebumps because it always does) before going on to Brooke.

*listens* *whimper*

Brooke - "You're Got a Friend" - Seems like a great choice for Brooke. Hard act to follow, though. She needs to rebound after a few not so great week. Brooke has the vulnerability in her voice that I think could work well with the song... and with this theme. She didn't quite get there on this song for some reason.

Bottom 3 performances - Carly, Michael, David C

Thursday's Bottom 3 - Carly, Kristy, Syesha

Going Home - Syesha

Saturday, April 5, 2008

He That Believeth In Me

Battlestar Galactica is still crazy good. Not really the explosive follow-up to the cliffhanger I was expecting... but, damn, that first act was something (in the SFX department, especially), wasn't it?

Hopefully, like Lost, having an end-date will allow these last 20 episodes of BSG to unfold in a way that hurtles towards the conclusion. In which case, as with Lost, I'm absolutely fine with this episode serving as the appetizer, the foundation on which the endgame is built.

And there was a lot of really good stuff.

No answers, but some really great questions posed (and I don't just mean "who is the twelfth model?")

Thursday, April 3, 2008

I Wanna Be A Supermodel

America totally got it right. Totally. I'm a huge fan of Ronnie's, but based on consistency, on runway, and on photographs... this was Holly's competition. She was the best model. Hands down. She's going to get a lot more high fashion work than any of the guys (and, let's fact it... on that final catwalk, you weren't looking at any of the guys in their metallic suits... you were looking at her in her couture gown doing the cinched waist, hunched shoulders haute pose). And, as one of the people said in the go-sees the models did this week, Holly's accent and high pitched voice can be fixed through a vocal coach.

Canada on Strike

So I totally forgot to post about last night's (long-awaited, IMHO) skewering of the WGA strike. While there were countless hilarious elements in the episode, it never really came together as a whole for me the way classic episodes of South Park have (like "Best Friends Forever" and "Trapped in the Closet", of recent seasons). Still... hilarious.

Especially Butters' video, the South Park version of YouTube's greatest hits (and the dramatic chipmunk's crazy psionic powers)... but most of all, the lesson of the week (they've stopped doing this, but back in the old days, every episode ended with Stan or Kyle saying what they learned because of the episode's events):

Kyle: You know, I learned something today. We thought we could make money on the internet. But while the internet is new and exciting for creative people, it hasn't matured as a distribution mechanism to the extent that one should trade real and immediate opportunities for income for the promise of future online revenue. It will be a few years before digital distribution of media on the internet can be monetized to an extent that necessitates content producers to forego their fair value in more traditional media.
Stan: Yeah.

GENIUS.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The tentative NBC schedule confuses me

The script for Kath & Kim is just awful, so I doubt it'll be around until winter (seriously). I've no idea what "SNL Thursday Night Live" could be... but it concerns me that the network would consider adding a half hour of sketches to SNL's weekly total when it clearly would be a better show if it was just one hour instead of 90 minutes. Oh, Ben Silverman... Penultimately, I can't recall what Crusoe is. Finally, there's a spin-off of The Office set for midseason, which simultaneously makes me happy and concerned (what of Mothership?)

Here's the schedule in case you didn't see (I'll only post the fall 2008 schedule).

NBC PRIMETIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2008-09

*New programs in UPPER CASE (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. "Chuck"
9-10 p.m. "Heroes"
10-11 p.m. "MY OWN WORST ENEMY"

TUESDAY
8- 9:30 p.m. "The Biggest Loser: Families"
9:30-10 p.m. "KATH & KIM"
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. "KNIGHT RIDER"
9-10 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
10-11 p.m. "Lipstick Jungle"

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. "My Name Is Earl"
8:30-9 p.m. "30 Rock"
9- 9:30 p.m. "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. "The Office"/ "SNL THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE"
10-11 p.m. "ER"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. "CRUSOE"
9-10 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
10-11 p.m. "Life"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
9-10 p.m. "KNIGHT RIDER" (Encores)
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Encores)

SUNDAY
7- 8:20 p.m. "Football Night in America"
8:20-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"