(all tape-delayed-live-blog hour/minutes are "into broadcast," so 1:05 = the fifth minute of the second hour of tonight's premiere)
0:00 - Hey, it's that guy from The Nine! He's so hapless.
0:01 - I dunno, I get T-boned and go into a tailspin, I'm screaming like Egan Foote's daughter, not semi-worriedly glancing over my shoulder.
0:01 - Do you have any idea how difficult it is to time one car crash intentionally? Let alone two? PWN.
0:01 - Downtown LA just got f*cked up. Oh, wait, it's supposed to be DC. The props department isn't doing a great job with substituting the street signs. Just saying.
0:02 - The credits say Carlos Bernard is in the show, so even if I somehow were unspoiled... Tony Almeida is back. Yeah, we've known this for about 18 months and I *still* don't get it. And I don't trust the show to give a decent explanation. Anyway... the Soul Patch is back, too!
0:03 - Jack is so badass he doesn't even care that Kurtwood Smith is eating up valuable ass-kicking time by setting the stakes so we know that the government agencies are doing a 180 later when he needs a hacksaw.
0:03 - Oh, and the multiple angles of the same person are back on the split screen! Yay! This stylistic thing was sorely missing in Day 6. Ugh. Day 6. Ugh.
0:04 - Jack is fingering that pencil something fierce. Did he watch The Dark Knight? I want him to make the pencil disappear. Do it! Do it!
0:05 - Oh, now Jack wants a turn at setting the stakes by saying that when he's activated, he's brought in to do whatever he deems necessary to stop a threat.
0:06 - Someone vaguely familiar looking just walked in. Was she in 24: Redemption?
0:06 - Right, like Jack is going to be back in the Senate when the reconvene the next day at the same time. Right.
0:07 - She is not Special Agent Walker. Special Agent Walker is on Chuck.
0:07 - Janeane Garafolo is delivering semi-snarky exposition. Is Chloe back? I miss Chloe.
0:08 - Oh, and there is high-flying co-worker tension at the FBI, too. Love. It. Also, hi clean-shaven Billy Walsh!
0:08 - Hey, the FBI is using CNN's magic screen! Can a hologram of will.i.am be far behind?
0:09 - Terrorists! Aaah! Also, it's only been 7 minutes, but they have Egan Foote wherever they wanted him and he's already doing whatever they wanted him to do. So... yeah. I buy that not?
0:10 - And he finished whatever they needed him to do already. With post-car-accident bleeding going on.
0:10 - Something will eventually happen with the terrorists, Egan Foote, and that airplane. But for now...
0:11 - Something will eventually happen between Not Chuck's Special Agent Walker and that Larry person. But for now...
0:12 - CIP Firewall explanation... check.
0:13 - Can I just say that in the six minutes it took for Jack to get from the Senate / DoJ committee / whatever to the FBI Washington Field Office, his hair became a mess.
0:13 - Touché, explanation for Tony being alive. Touché. Sort of.
0:15 - Nothing happened to the plane (yet)? What a twist!
0:16 - Dammit Tony, stop threatening Egan Foote. He was in two car crashes 15 minutes ago, you know. Not to mention that whole 52-hour bank hostage crisis.
Hm, a thought occurs. It's 12:42am and I have work in the morning, as well as about 65 minutes of this premiere to watch. Sadly, I must sign off for the night, but any further large scope thoughts will assuredly be blogged about on the morrow.