Thursday, March 5, 2009

Let's Go Over This

Don't go into modeling unless you're down with Dorothy.  I really hope Branden's right-off-the-bat nervousness that his partner in the photo is gay and thus will make him teh geh was for show.  I mean... come on, fool (and, yes, you can get "more gayer than that").  I'm not seeing Bronnie happening this season.

I'm confused (perhaps because of a lack of casting / semifinals round the way Top Model does it, or the way this show did it last year).  Perhaps because the first thing that happens even before we know any of these people's names (and before THEY know the other people's names) is a photo shoot?

Who picked these people?  They totally suck!  They know nothing of finding the light for the camera.  Last season had such a range of guys and girls with experience and lack thereof, who were hot-hot or ugly-hot... this season I think MAYBE Salome and Sandhurst could be working models?  Amanda is girl next door hot.  Gabriel almost has that heroin-ed out ex-rock star appeal.  He looks similar to one of the models who won The Amazing Race 10 a couple years ago.

Nicole brings the photos to the contestants.  They, for the most part, love their pictures.  But most of the pictures SUCK.  Why is she not critiquing them?  She's supposed to be a mentor.

The winner of each photo shoot gets a go see.  That's a good prize.  Except Salome is apparently a retard when it comes to strategy.  Don't announce out loud that you're picking someone you think you can beat.  Also, this is before the contestants have done any runway walking for the judges.  They haven't gotten a critique yet.  This will be a problem for this go see.  And, shock, it is!  Double-edged sword, winning that first prize.

Yay, measurement time!  AMANDA HAD A SON 10 MONTHS AGO!?  Wow.  Hey, we're learning!  40" is the standard male model chest measurement.  A quick look at Branden's "bod" demands that he stop being so happy with it.  He wants to be a male model, he needs to get more cut.  He's paunchy.  Sorry, is it wrong to hate on the homophobe?

Ken, though his face is not quite symmetrical and his jaw juts out oddly so I honestly can't see him lasting in this competition, is my hero for saying that he doesn't want to be 175 lbs when he's told he's too big (not too fat... although by model standards, yes, he is).  MY HERO, DAMMIT.

Okay, I'm glad not all of the guys on this show at 5'11" with a 40" chest.  But shouldn't they have chosen people will bodies slightly CLOSER to the "supermodel" norm?  I know, I know, the title is "Make Me A Supermodel," but I'd always considered that to be, y'know, the audience voting and such (which obviously isn't happening this season.  See the lack of snow on the ground).

For the runway show, they are wearing clothes inspired by a set of ├╝berdesigners' collections.  Not the designers' lines themselves.  Okay...?  Oh, honeychild (by which I mean the show), the walks are not great.  Incidentally, I heart the dresses Amanda and Salome wore, and kudos to Kerryn for tolerating that headpiece thingy.

I can't understand the words that come out of Catherine Malandrino's mouth.  But she's right about Salome being very lucky having the standout dress, and it was an easy dress to wear and walk in.

Hm.  At the start of the episode I was lost and was thinking of turning the show off.  It's still not the fun guilty pleasure it was last year.  Hm.  Maybe after one more week of getting to know these characters?  I feel like the only character I've gotten to know, remotely, is "I'm uncomfortable with teh gehs" Branden.  Where are the big personalities?  Where is, um, ANY PERSONALITY?

Sigh.  Color me disappointed.

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