Cabin Fever

So... Lost.

Flashbacks = Locke as a wee baby. Incidentally, I love period pieces, but think Swingtown is shit.

First post-strike Freighter scene! Desmond still hasn't discovered buttons. Keamy shows up, 'splaining that Smokezilla tossed the people 50 feet into the air... BUT THEY DIDN'T DIE WTF.

Keamy attempts to shoot Michael/Kevin Johnson and is surprised that his bullets won't fire, as is anyone watching the show who didn't see "Meet Kevin Johnson". Silly Keamy, Michael can't die until the Island says he can. God, don't these people have video replay?

Skipping past the nonsense (I like that Ben says with extreme displeasure that he used to have the dreams that Locke is now having... it really is a weekly question who the real key player in this series is)...

We're back in the flashback. John was a premie but fought off various diseases. AND RICHARD IS WATCHING OVER HIM. Wow, can Cane please be officially canceled so we get more Richard?

Anyway, now John is older than a baby and Richard shows up at his house and invites him to Hogwarts. Ooh, John drew Smokezilla as a kid. Ooooh, Mystery Tales! What was the secret of the mysterious "Hidden Island" indeed! Was John Locke proto-Walt? Who else knows deep down how very wrong (or alternatively how very afraid) Richard is?

Michael Emerson's delivery is so dry. We love it.

Back on the boat. THE DOC COULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR (name). DAMN YOU, TIME-SPACE CONTINUUM. Seriously, didn't "the doc" wash up on the beach an episode or two ago?

Fix my gun. Lol.

Hurley chooses to go with Locke. In the season premiere, he told Jack, in flashforward, he should never have gone with Locke. I believe this is what he was talking about, not the speech in the premiere that helped divide the camp.

Mittelos! Man, teenage John Locke was a whiny bitch. DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO! Oh, man, the Lost writers are really putting my squee through the ringer.

There's a freeze frame with Keamy that I'm pretty sure is going to have one of my friends shouting his thanks to the gods in our Lost e-mail discussion chain.

I'm trying to remember "Live Together, Die Alone". The bearing Ben gave Michael... I thought it was 3-2-5. Not 3-0-5. Shrug. Sayid motorboating to the rescue!

Destiny is a fickle bitch is definitely a Top 10 Quotes Ever contender (certainly in the Top 3 on the subject of Fate... though the Wonderfalls quote about Jaye letting the Universe stick its hand up her butt and making her dance...)

OMG Matthew Abbadon with Locke during his spinal injury recoup AND TOLD HIM ABOUT THE WALKABOUT. How uncomfortable are we with the idea of Locke owing Abbadon one?

And there's the cutting of the doc's throat. Okay, at this point, there has to be a future plan for this Keamy character.

Oop, captain's dead. So, yes, what is that thing on Keamy's arm? I hope we're not talking some sort of "my heart beats slower than 50 bpm and this bus blows up" device (by bus blows up, I of course mean there's some sort of wacky, possibly nuclear, detonation). I bet Frank is gonna take the copter off course / won't use the 3-0-5 bearing. Nah, that'd be too easy.

Oh, hey, look... the beach! Go, Frank!

Christian Shephard... oy. Brain go ouch. Can't wait for this explanation (which I guess will come in, what, two years?) Oh, that's right, Claire followed Christian into the jungle last episode.

To save the Island... move the Island? I'm. So. Confused.

Season finale, part one, next week!

... WTF?

Finally

A semi-intelligent decision from The CW!

It's going to be selling off its Sunday primetime block to an unnamed advertising conglomerate, which will develop programming. Meaning it will still have interstitial time, some ad revenue coming in (to the network, as opposed to just the affiliates), but won't have the costs of programming those three hours.

Just one step closer to just NOT PROGRAMMING IT AT ALL.

CW should never have been a 13-hour netlet, it would've been much healthier (especially this season) under UPN's 10-hour format.

Sigh, I've been so busy lately... I'm so behind in the news, and ratings, etc.

That Does Not Rock

Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame night of Idol. I'm so excited to watch the Davids, Syesha, and Carly, er, and Michael, um... and Brooke...

Enough of that.

David C - "Hungry Like the Wolf" - Mediocre. Not bad, but when compared to the times he's brilliant (which seems to be more than 50/50), it was just okay (or a'ight, if you'll accept the parlance). Much like the other times he takes songs and sings the original flavor.

Syesha - "Proud Mary" - Yeah, it's been covered almost as much as "Yesterday". Which she sang pretty well. But Syesha has, personality-on-the-stage-wise, come out in recent weeks. And this should be an opportunity to shine. Loved when she busted out some dance moves, even if in the faster parts of the song she got a bit shouty and strained. You go, girl.

Jason - who cares - terrible. Even worse, Ryan saying hello to Carly right before his video package. Honestly, at this point, I don't think Jason is even trying to stay in the competition. I kind of loved in his video package how he laughed when he was like "d'uh, Bob Marley". And it sounded like he was high. Nice...

David A - "Stand By Me" - Remember when Josiah Leming mutilated this song almost as badly as Jason just mutilated "I Shot The Sheriff"? I have a hunch that the beautiful girls, as well as infinitely more unattractive ones, will be standing by Archie... I'm surprised Paula hasn't offered to squeeze his head off and put it on her rear view mirror. Simon stops just short of calling it a master class... he hasn't used that one much this season.

David C - "Baba O'Riley" - Obscure choice, no? Wouldn't matter if you knew it... that was completely different.

Syesha - "A Change Is Gonna Come" - Despite comparing her experience of being in the Top 4 to the Civil Rights Movement... this is a great choice for Syesha, because after the fun of "Proud Mary" she needed a song to say "remember, I'm a kick-ass vocalist, too". Unfortunately, I think nothing's going to change. I think you're bottom two bound this week (what with the Davids in the mix), but you'd best not be leaving! I love how Idol always gets the perfect closeup of crying contestants. Weep!

Jason - does it really matter - even worse. How the hell do you forget the words to "Mr. Tambourine Man"? Ugh, and the cameras have Carly standing and clapping (probably thinking "how the f*** is this dips*** still in this competition?") How can anyone in that audience boo Simon telling Jason to pack his suitcase? How!?

David A - "Love Me Tender" - Okay, I have to ask. Why did Archie *pick* "Love Me Tender" if, in his video package, he admits that he doesn't know it too well? I mean... ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME. COUNTLESS SONGS. SURELY (don't call me Shirley) YOU MUST KNOW TWO OF THEM WELL! Ugh. That's what pisses me off most about this season's contestants. They don't seem to know crap about music (it's been bugging since multiple contestants talked about not being familiar with the Beatles' songbook... ARGH). Archie brought the falsetto out to play tonight. Did anyone else flash to a Temple of Doom place when she said she felt David's heart tonight? KALI MA!

Yeah

Iron Man is amazing. Stay for the end of the credits. You'll love it (especially if you're a Marvel fanboy). I wasn't so big on the inevitable final, climactic showdown... but it was better than a lot of other movies' obvious, big budget final climactic showdowns. The rest of the movie? Spot fucking on. Seriously.

Heck, I'm even glad I went to see it instead of watching the hours and hours of TV I now have waiting for the weekend (or, perhaps, during a lull at work... will there ever be one???)

That includes new Lost.

Yeah. That good.

Um

So, two things. One, I haven't been getting ratings this week, so while I have been busy, I haven't been posting the finals because, well, I don't have them.

Second thing... Jason Castro is officially ruining this season of Idol for me. Yes, I'm fine with Brooke going home (and, jeez, what's America's problem with Syesha?) But Jason sooooooo deserved ejection both of the last two weeks.

This is hard!

Oh, Paula, I love you most of all.

Seriously, though, it's time for the muppet to go. Damn, Carly would've done such a bang-up job with the Neil Diamond songbook.

The Shape of Things to Come

Still pissed about the "cliffhanger" from "Meet Kevin Johnson". Now that it's confirmed (through the promos, anyway) that it was the boatpeople... that really would've made for a better cliffhanger (the reverse shot of Keamy). Whatever. Strike-related bygones.

Jack is not taking antibiotics. He's starting to take painkillers. His addiction is starting. I insist.

Um, why is Dr. Ray washing ashore on the Island?

HAHAHAH, Hurley's "We're all gonna die" soundbyte is over a game of Risk. "Australia's the key to the whole game." Tell me that isn't prescient.

Numbers alert: the password to the fence around the Barracks is 1623... inasmuch as it alerts people that the fence is off. Damn, things are really moving this episode.

IT'S A BEN EPISODE! WTF is that Dharma symbol on the Halliwax PARKA he's wearing in the SAHARA? When is this? We still haven't found out about those polar bear remains CS Lewis found in Tunisia. Weird seeing Ben so utter at someone else's mercy. Only HE'S SUPER SECRET AGENT ACTION HERO BEN.

Faraday: When is kind of a relative term.

I love that one of the first nameless people who got killed was wearing a red shirt. How the hell are they missing Sawyer (this must be Storm Trooper logic/rules).

Well, that bazooka shot seems to explain partially why Kate is raising Baby Aaron in her flashforward. I say seems to because I'm pretty sure major character deaths happen on screen in this series, so I'm 99% sure Claire is alive (for now).

Ben is in Tunisia. And he says he's been before, but it's been a while. Oh, Ben, must you make me ask if you're lying about everything!? No one actually buys that his name is Dean Moriarty, right...? Damn illiterate, unwashed masses. It's October 24, 2005. That's roughly 10 months ahead of "Island time". But Ben *asking* about the year... hm. Has he become unstuck in time, like Desmond in "The Constant"? Ben sees Sayid on a TV... he wants to bury his wife (Nadia?) in peace.

Hurley and Aaron are both Oceanic Six. They both get off the Island. Hurley's carrying Aaron around right now. Making a mental (and blogger) note of it. Follow that baby!

Yup, Claire's not dead. Yet.

HAHAH, they RING the DOORBELL.

Aw, it was Nadia. That's sad. Um... remind me. Late 2005 in Iraq... war still going on? How about the state of Tikrit? Because that's where Ben is. I know in the show, that's where Sayid was born. So, I guess we're seeing the beginning of the "Ben pwns Sayid" plotline. And they're killing Widmore's people (I guess that explains some stuff about "The Economist") OMG. I drive through La Brea and Santa Monica EVERY DAY. Please, show, give me an address for where Nadia was killed. I've got nothing better to do tomorrow at 8:42am as I head into work. Dammit. Thanks for nothing, show. Huh. I wonder if Widmore's people are going to start killing the off-Island connectors we've seen in the flashbacks?

This shit is too tense for 10pm (or, as I'm watching it... after midnight).

Damn, Ben is so fake-heartless it hurts with his "she means nothing to me" stalling.

Um. No. No they DID NOT kill Alex. But if they did, kudos for doing it from the Ben's POV shot. Man, how much do we want Smokezilla to kill Keamy dead right now?

Ben: "He (they?) changed the rules." Creepy! Is that the "mystery box" door?

Sayid flashfoward backstory! Blanks, filled in! Huzzah!

OMFG BEN JUST SUMMONED SMOKEZILLA. TO DO HIS BIDDING. Wow, I guess it really is a security system.

Ben cries over Alex's corpse. That's the first time we've really seen him vulnerable. I'm sad now. Damn, they actually killed Alex. Fuck, we're really not gonna get our Rousseau flashback.

Morse code is great and all, but it's not very entertaining television.

Sawyer: "Who the hell is Jacob?" Amen, brutha.

Hurley has a badass moment. Nice.

Ben Linus. Face to face. With Charles Widmore. The shape of things to come, indeed. Why can't Ben kill Charles? Nevermind... Ben is going to kill Penny. My heart just fucking dropped.

What the hell are these rules Ben is talking about, and how did Charles change them? Dammit, show.

Big Night

OMFG so much TV tonight. I've decided that Grey's and Lost are must-see tonight. After that, if I'm still awake, I'll do The Office and possibly 30 Rock. Ugly Betty and Scrubs can wait.

Anyway... Grey's is back! Despite the "eh" of the fourth season following the crap of the end of season three... I'm thrilled. Excited. Will the show come back strong? I don't know if it can reclaim the "do no wrong" magic of the second season... but I'm excited. Mer is finally seeing a psychologist. Good idea. Mer isn't talking to the psychologist... sigh. For this show to truly get back on track, Mer needs to find her path. The resident contest seems entertaining enough... I want to see more of cutthroat Cristina. And less of cockroach-killing George (or just less cockroaches). Love Izzie freaking her swollen ankle patient out (incidentally... Cheech!) Love Hanh/Callie. Want to see as few scenes that have both George and Izzie in it as possible. Mer's sister (WTF is her name?) trying to see how hospital supplies could substitute for home furnishings, cutlery, bowls, etc. Jason O'Mara... well, ABC is trying to get their mileage out of his million dollar holding deal. And Clea Duvall! I miss Carnivale. Yay, Mer forced through medical case to interact with Derek... sorta. Almost. I'm waiting for the metaphor for the "intestines in the hand!" Remember medical cases as metaphors? It's been so long... Bailey calls Yang a kiss-ass. I want to see George back with Callie (maybe it will be a brain tumor). Although it seems like they're pointing him in the direction of Mer's sister (WTF is her name?) Aw, Mer continues to shut down all attempts by her sister (WTF is her name?) to connect. Bad, Mer. Hah, Sloan wants to have a manslut contest with Derek. Chief: "Yang, no running in the hospital!" Izzie does as Izzie used to do... care so damn much for her patient that she's actually (semi-)convincing to Bailey that she's more concerned with finding whatever might, might be wrong with her patient than the contest. Mer screams "Tumor!" as she gives a "touchdown" signal. LOL. This episode has been really enjoyable. It's not great, but it is fun and if they can bring the fun back to this show... then I'll be pleased. Maybe it's just the halo of OMFG NEW GREY'S! Aw, the scene with Alex and the Chief is kinda touching. I really hope they bring Karev's abusive father into the show to give him a plotline like all the other young people have had. "Interesting" how there are ads for Dempsey's movie and the DVD release of Heigl's ;) ABC's ads for Lost have actually been pretty well tailored to attract women (a lot of emphasis on Ben's daughter being in danger... oh, heartstrings). OMG the sparkle pager. That is a fantastic idea. From a "could be hilarious" point of view. From a "emergency surgery, lives hanging in the balance" point of view... the height of Mt. Dumb. I'm confused about why Mer, Cristina, Karev, and Izzie are the only residents participating in this contest. It's been a point of contention of mine throughout the show, and especially this season since the characters became residents instead of Bailey's interns (who, for interns, scrubbed in on a lot of surgeries). Whatever. TV magic... Aw, George is giving a thesis statement for the show... he's going to stop complaining and start focusing on what's good. That was a nice episode. Very pleasing. Not a great episode for this show (which you wouldn't know from the above... I tend to flail about various moments in Grey's and then realize the sum of the parts doesn't have quite the same magic as the parts did).

The next time, though... Addison is back. Ugh, and she's gone the way of Alyson Hannigan... why won't TV let us have our hot redheads with their natural, fiery hair color? But. She's back and she's going to tell Meredith to fight for Derek. Only Addison could. Only Addison has the right to. Excitement!

May Sweeps

So, May Sweeps begins tonight, and brings with it... NEW LOST. Also new Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty.

It's going to be a late night, so I'm not sure which programs I'll be watching on my TV and which I'll try to catch up on during brief moments of respite at work on Friday (since there's also Scrubs, The Office, and 30 Rock to watch).

Also, new Grey's and Lost will continue through two weeks after May Sweeps. So watchable network television won't end for another three-to-four months with the Idol finale on May 21st.

Weird to not have the Lost finale on against the Idol finale... but wise on ABC's part. First season it competed, but after that... not so much.

Mulligan?

Okay. Reality recap.

Top Model. We're in Rome! Hooray... ish. Lauren still can't walk. She can't stand up straight. And she gets sent home. Two weeks too late. Claire would've kicked the crap outta that CoverGirl commercial (which, really, they had a TON of lines to memorize in a foreign language).

Top Chef. This was not a particular inventive week for the challenge, instead it was just "look, here's another curve ball we're throwing under the guide of 'improvisation'. That said this was the first week where the judges basically said "all the dishes were good, so we have to get really nitty-gritty". I really wish Lisa had gone home, because I can't stand her... but oh well.

American Idol. Um... recount? This is a sad, sad surprise elimination on Idol. I mean... the bottom two was entirely wrong (and without there being a bottom three... inexcusable). But Leona Lewis sang (unlike Mariah) which was awesome. Mostly because she vocally puts every Idol contestant, like, ever to shame (possible exception: Fantasia). Still. This elimination, and this bottom two, is an embarrassment. Embarrassing for America, really, considering, um... the Jason and Brooke of it all. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't suck hard. It was nice both Carly and Syesha got to perform again tonight... because it shows how wrong this was. And I really wish the judges would've said so more often and more loudly and with more "shame on you" judgment. But, hey, if Kelli Pickler gets a recording contract... Carly will. You know, the above is all a little unfair... this was the right Top 6 (or, rather, if Michael Johns had made it to Top 7, it would've been the right Top 7). And within their niches (and every one of these six people have different styles of music... none of which was musical theatre), every one of these Top 6 ought to get a contract and has the potential to be a star (even Jason). Next week is Neil Diamond... WTF. Did they forget about CONTEMPORARY MUSIC!? They haven't done a single week where the theme lets the contestants choose songs from, like, the last 5 years. Travis is UNHAPPY.

Are You Interested?

A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila is back. And, um... it's just as trashy-delicious as ever. In fact, it might be more trashy-delicious. Even if I've heard that outside the show Tila has a steady boyfriend... whatever, she knows entertainment (in its lowest common denominator form).

Semi-related, semi-serious question: can one script a reality television show? I mean, when I get together with friends and watch Top Model, we can say exactly what's going to happen and how it's going to go down... so I think it's possible, in elimination-based shows. Thinking of the financials... you have your series regulars (your "host", your judges), and you have guest cast in the form of mentors and "contestants" (the trick is figuring out exactly what the fake competition is... there was a terrible The Amazing Race ripoff sitcom script for CW last development season). The standing sets would be the home of the "contestants", the "confessional", and the judging room... which isn't a ton, so you'd have a lot of stage space (and presumably an ample enough construction budget) to play with. Not a heck of a lot of locations, or even necessarily exterior shooting. You could probably knock the whole thing out in 7 shooting days (two days at the "house" and doing confessionals, two days at judging, and three days at the various challenges).

But what about non-elimination shows? For instance, The Hills (which I've never watched). First of all, it's apparently partially scripted... would one be able to pull something like that off in full-scripted mode? Like, could one fake a show like Gossip Girl and have it set in "the real" Upper East Side? The actors would have to be very good improvisers, because, if The Hills are an example, they'd have to be out and about and "in character" 24/7...

Sigh, I should stop thinking about these things this late at night...

Great White Way

So, the judges think this is going to be a tough week for the contestants. I disagree. The main problem this season, apparently, hasn't been the talent, it's been the connection to the songs and the personalities showing up on stage. Well, if there's any cure for that... it's showtunes.

Syesha knocks "One Rock and Roll Too Many" out of the park. But she's in first position so unless people fuck up royally, she's going home (and is almost certainly Bottom Three fodder).

The idea of Jason singing musical theater scares me. Also his interviewing scares me. The result... kinda truly astoundingly awful. I don't even like Cats, but I'm pretty sure he skinned a couple up there on the Idol stage. There has to have been a better song in the ALW songbook for Jason to sing, something better suited to his vocal range (or lack thereof). I fear for Brooke. But I'm also schadenfreuding to Jason potentially going home.

I love "You Must Love Me." Goddamn, I hope Brooke sings this well. She's been flailing, to be honest, since the first Beatles week. Oy, she stumbles at the top of the song again. That's twice this season... not sure she should get a(nother) "start over". This needs to be amazing to make the judges not tear into her. I actually liked that she didn't do the expected power belt note at the end, instead going towards the breathy theatrical ending. Ultimately, the judges reprimand... but forgive? Sorta?

David Archuleta is singing a song that's supposed to be sung in a big, operatic soprano (IIRC). Yeah. "Think of Me" is one of the most well known songs in this songbook... and David A chruns out a kinda pop-ballad version. Not sure how I feel about it. He sings really well... if drearily. But I'm just not sure how I feel about it (this is like sacrilege... btw, Phantom was the first musical I ever went to, so, yeah). He does keep his eyes open for the first time, like, ever... tween girls are gonna go nuts.

Carly gets lessons in choosing songs from Andrew Lloyd Webber. WOW. Why have none of the other mentors helped her with her tragic song choices? Because she was TOTALLY off the mark with "All I Ask of You" and this performance ROCKS. Not her best vocal, not her most controlled, but it ROCKS.

David Cook... grew up doing musical theater? Combine this with Our Lady Peace being his favorite band and I just don't think I can judge this book by its cover or sleeve any longer. He's doing "Music of the Night", though... pre-performance swoon. This is the Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber song. Thank gawd he didn't change this song up, he just did it straight. The first time he's done the original version of a song that I think has been anything more than mediocre. It's not as good as his "Eleanor Rigby", "Billie Jean", or "Always Be My Baby". But whatever. It was "Music of the Night".

Either Jason or Brooke would be going home if this was based on this week's performance alone. But it's not. Syesha will fill out the bottom three with Jason and Brooke, and will probably go home.

OMFG

Oh, Little J...

I've decided that I really, really, really missed Gossip Girl. I do know the exact episode that the show stopped being something I watched because it was "so bad it's good" and made for very easy ridicule and became, well, obsession. Regardless... it was severely missed (by me, anyway, we'll see the ratings in the morning) the last three months and this was a very good episode to come back on. Mostly because it reminded me of why it is the guiltiest of pleasures. Every week is like watching a new trainwreck. It is impossible to stop staring.

Meanwhile...

"Sandcastles in the Sand" happened on HIMYM. I haven't been able to get the song out of my head for the last week. And what a FANTASTIC episode. Barney/Robin! Who'd've thunk it (would ever leap from fanfic to canon)? Why does everyone in Canada on HIMYM sound like they're from Ireland? Also... they totally uglied the Beek. I mean, even more so! The whole conversion when Marshall and Lily become Robin's parents. Can we keep Michelle? The robot!

Let's Try This Again...

Dear NBC's Comedy Night Done Right,

Try and do better this week.

Thanks.

Me.

30 Rock. The good news is it starts with Liz entering Jack's office. Jack refers to Chuck Norris as "C Nor". And there's a news ticker! Yay! "Democrats excited about upcoming depression" "NORAD puts cybords in charge of SkyNet" "Zombie spokesman..." "... complicated happens in Africa" "Baby bottle found on Mars". I think I like the SkyNet one best... just because, y'know. Exonerated Dateline predator. Now this is a teaser that excites me. It has to do with TGS and is has Jack imposing some awkward horribleness on Liz.

Kenneth: "Oh, I don't vote Republican or Democrat. Choosing is a sin, so I always just write in the lord's name."
Jack: "That's Republican, we count those."

... is that the real Stanley Cup!? DotCom's explanation of why Lincoln wouldn't recognize the modern Republican party. "We used to call this the Jew room." The gossip column thinks Liz is Sally Field. "Who is Conan O'Brien and why is she so sad?" "When I grab on, I do not let go. Like a killer whale going nuts on its trainer at Sea World." "God bless that wiretapping bastard!" "Shut up, crowd!" "Now that's fetch" (work it, Tina Fey!) "If reality TV has taught us anything it's that you can't keep people with no shame down."

The Office. Man, I remember having to walk a half mile to work... that sucked. This show really speaks to me sometimes. ZOMG, Jim is going to propose to Pam (next week)!

Over Logged

Penultimate South Park!

A bit weird that there's an episode two weeks after the episode about the Writers' Canadians' Strike and about getting money for Internet intellectual property... there's an episode about "what if the Internet stopped working?"

I'm sure it'll be hilarious, though. You know you've spent hours laying in bed wondering what would happen if the Internet stopped working. It's frightening. And you know it.

Wednesday Night Reality TV

Watched Top Model and Top Chef at a friend's. Unspectacular episodes. Top Model was particularly felt manipulative... this is the last cycle for me. Claire's ejection last week sealed it.

American Idol... skipping past the first couple acts, Ryan has started splitting groups into the left and right. I'm sensing a Jennifer Hudson-esque exit, remember season three when George Huff (or whatever his last name is) had to choose which group of three to join at the end and everyone was shocked when the three divas were the bottom three (he chose them as the group he thought was not the bottom three and was told to join the other contestants)?

As we head into the last contestant (and you knew it was gonna be cute-as-a-button David A)...

Left group: Jason, Carly, Syesha
Right group: David C, Kristy, Brooke

So, obviously, David C is somehow in the bottom three and that's this week's "shocking lesson". No way he goes home, though... right? This doesn't make too much sense, though, because you have the four girls evenly split between the two groups, and they were all varying degrees of mediocre, and you have Jason and David C, who both got pretty high praise.

Mariah performs. Thankfully, it's not "Touch My Body". That was done on SNL a few weeks ago and it was just not good live. I love that Mariah's ear thing (ugh, I can't remember the acronym for that thing you put in your ear and it plays the music so you stay on pitch) is all glittery. And her jewel encrusted microphone and mic-stand. Diva!

Okay, now David C is being told to switch with Syesha, which says to me that the group now containing Brooke, Kristy, and Syesha is somehow the safe group, while one of Jason, David C, and Carly are going home (Jason!)

Gotta hate the Idol producers for making David A do this. Why are people surprised? This is a rerun.

Or not, and it's the Brooke, Kristy, and Syesha who are in the bottom three.

That was a waste of time and suspense.

If Brooke leaves before Kristy, I will be very put out by Middle America.

Oh, thank god. Now, Middle America, vote Democratic in November (you know you want to... even if both candidates keep trying to dissuade you with their, like... actions... and words...)!

Not that Kristy was, by any means, Sanjaya... but this was the week Sanjaya went home, too. And now we have the Top 6 and, really, 6 incredibly different styles of vocalists.

Top 7

So Mariah couldn't have gotten a better week to be the mentor, could she have? The very day her album drops, and she performs live tomorrow. Yowza. Perhaps Madonna will follow suit in two weeks for the Top 5???

Anyway, let's get to it...

David A - "When You Believe" - He's such a great technical singer, and I liked the falsetto. But I dunno, the kid lacks emotion in his technically-near-perfect singing. It's all so rehearsed. When are we going to get a raw performance from this kid?

Carly - "Without You" - Simon wipes the floor with Carly's performance... oy. I... kinda... agree... with... Paula...? I liked her restraint at the top of the song. I'm actually not familiar with Mariah's version, so I have nothing else to really say about it as far as it being an "okay" version or not.

Syesha - "Vanishing" - Again, not terribly familiar with this song. It was nice to see Mariah actually giving singing instruction... walking Syesha through some possibilities for an arrangement. Syesha looks amazing, but about 2/3 of the way through the song, she loses herself to the big, runny part of the song. The judges are more forgiving.

Can I just say that I like this section of the competition, where the contestants get to sing more than 90 seconds of the song?

Brooke - "Hero" - Now here's a song that's got a soft spot for me (this and "Always Be My Baby"... yeah, I'm a big girl inside). I wonder how Brooke is going to handle it because I'm fairly certain she doesn't have the chops to do the original arrangement of this power ballad (though she totally ha the vulnerability). This excites me. I was a bit let down by it... instead of attempting big notes (that she probably can't hit) she sits behind the piano and effects key changes. It was nice to have a stripped Brooke back... and no backing band at all! That's commendable. Still unspectacular... but this week really didn't lend itself to Brooke's strengths (being that almost every song in Mariah's songbook require huge vocals).

Kristy - "Forever" - Another song people (myself included) probably aren't familiar with. Out of seven singers (thus far five), only two really well-known songs? What gives? After a couple weeks of legitimate improvement... Kristy takes several steps back and, at long last, should be the one going home. Snooze.

David C - "Always Be My Baby" - Oh, dear lord. It's another "incredibly risky, it's either going to be truly amazing or going to be the worst thing ever". Are there rock covers of this song out there? Again, again, David lands on the "amazing" side. His voice reminded me a lot of the lead singer of Lifehouse tonight (at least I think it's Lifehouse... it reminded me of something, but I couldn't put my finger on it, really...) So, basically, the idea for David is to choose a really well known song and do a version completely different from the "accepted" version. Because whenever he does the original/accepted version of a song, it's been little more than mediocre.

Jason - "I Don't Want to Cry" - From the video package... he's busting the guitar out again. So, for me anyway, we've got three well known songs and four lesser known songs. Ooh, Mariah's thoughts at the end of the package are "I wonder if he's going to take my advice". *crickets* Surprisingly, no guitar for Jason! Not digging this. But I never dig Jason.

Bottom 3: Really, any of the girls... though I would personally put Jason here.
Gone: Kristy (or bust)

Mondays, Busy Mondays

So, next week I have to make a decision. Thank god Chuck isn't back until next fall (can't believe I just wrote that) because come next week I have to decide which two of Gossip Girl, Bones, and Big Bang Theory + How I Met Your Mother I'm going to FauxVo. Damn you, 8pm.

Meanwhile, I watch nothing at 9pm or 10pm (which will change when House returns in two weeks).

For now...

HIMYM - Funny, but unremarkable episode. Nice to know that Ted is still dating Stella, though it's making me think that she CAN'T be the mother... because I feel like there's going to be some "and that is how I met your mother" voice over (and then the series will just continue has a non-linear romantic sitcom).

Big Bang Theory - Too early in the show's run to bring in a Sheldon 2.0 (the kid who is out-Sheldon-ing Sheldon). Remember when Wonderfalls did it in the second episode that aired? Even if it was supposed to air third (or whatever). Too soon! Still, this is a punch line-y episode full of LOL and I'm enjoying it. I'm confused, though, wasn't there an episode that aired earlier this season with Sheldon and Leonard presenting a paper together (and then they were fighting so Leonard did it himself since it was his experiment in the first place)? Way to work the marketing slogan ("smart is the new sexy") into the dialogue.

Bones - Last season, I wouldn't have been so excited about the return of Bones. What a difference a year and an incredibly intriguing serial killer mystery makes. I've always loved the banter and the unresolved sexual tension, but this fall, Bones moved from "save for the weekend, if you get to it" to "watch the night it airs, or else". Even if tonight's installment isn't Gormogon-related... welcome back, Squints (and Booth)! I don't have a ton to say about the episode... it was, for all intents and purposes in a show that has added some serial elements, filler. But there's also something wise about that... do a solid episode without the serial elements when you come back to invite people back into the tent without the back story that would be necessary in a serialized episode (or for a serialized show). "You said no changees and no take backs!" Booth has a Philadelphia Flyers mug in his office (David Boreanaz is a Philadelphia native).

Next week: the long-delayed murdered college basketball player episode (with some alterations because the Angela/Hodgins story is in a different place now that it was last season when the episode was pulled). So, probably no Gormogon next week.

The strike hiatus has, in the ratings, hit comedies less than dramas, and procedural shows less than serialized shows (did you see the Desperate Housewives ratings? Even with its creative upswing, it lost a ton of viewers in the three month break... Grey's Anatomy is gonna be hurting bad when it comes back on the 24th, I suspect). I'm curious to see how Bones is affected as it is a hybrid and given that it's also returning on a different night than it was airing on in the fall.

Welcome Back

The Desperate Housewives spring premiere is finally here! So much goodwill has been engendered form me to this season throughout the fall section of the season that, for the first time since the second season premiere, I really, truly have been waiting with bated breath to find out what happens next on Wisteria Lane.

But first, I really enjoyed tonight's The Simpsons episode, featuring the return of Lurlene Lumpkin. The only episodes that seem to have much continuity in The Simpsons are the Sideshow Bob ones and ones dealing with Homer's mother (thanks to "That 90s Show", I can no longer say the same about Homer and Marge's courtship... sigh... even if it did poke fun at the fact that it's long been accepted that Homer impregnated Marge and she had Bart basically right out of high school, but there are a missing 10 years of their lives together...) Anyway, it was nice to have Lurlene back (as well as Colonel Homer, Marge's grating teeth, etc etc etc). And some entertaining Britney Spears parallels (IMHO).

Back to Wisteria Lane...

So, Katherine (apparently) killer his first husband. Not a huge shock, but huzzah to Dana Delany for playing this potentially arch character so human, so controlled, so subtle. Can't wait to find out the whole truth about this.

And bravo to the show for having all the ladies (minus Edie, see later) in the opening moments in an easy, breezy scene that really reminds us who each lady is.

Susan's accountant cousin is ick... but the show very, very much needs those "slightly forbidden love" and "hot male actor" elements, so I say keep him for a little while (and for the love of god, don't bring back Jesse Metcalfe... we're done with him!) Since he knew Katherine Mayfair as Katherine Davis, I suspect he'll be around for a bit and will help us get to the bottom or the mystery... in one way or another (see ick, add sleeping with Dylan Mayfair... although they've been keeping the person he's sleeping with off screen, so I'm actually suspecting it's not Dylan so much as it's Katherine).

How much do I love Lynette for getting her family to go to church, going to Bree's church, and ASKING QUESTIONS after the sermon after introducing herself as Bree's friend. Price. Less.

Edie needs to go. I'm sorry, but she no longer has a plot, and though she's playing that "Wicked Witch of Wisteria Lane" role so campily, it just serves to take time away from the other characters who, shock!, have interesting plotlines. And make room for more Dana Delany.

Also, Carlos, now blind, needs to go. I suspect that the "OMG SPOILER" TVGuide information about the closing moments of this season will address the removal of both he and Edie, as well as letting Felicity Huffan work without the post-chemo head covering (and wigs). At least, if they do what has been reported, these are issues that can be taken care of (though I suspect anything permanently fatal happening to Edie or Carlos would happen onscreen over these seven hours). The only way to free Gaby from her on-off relationship with Carlos is to, well, off him. It can also get rid of Julie.

Actually, now that I'm 2/3 through the episode, can Gaby leave? I mean... pulling physical comedy pranks on the blind (even if it's to get him to admit that he's permanently, not temporarily, blind)? That's low. Hahah, she just said "do you really think I'm that shallow?" Yes, Gaby. Yes. We do. Aw, that scene turned out so touching. Now I'm actually feeling bad about the above, predicting Carlos' imminent death so that Gaby could move on. Layers, people. She's growing layers.

OMG IT WAS KATHERINE. I'm not so sure this lowers the "ick" on Cousin Timmy, but... hey, whatevs! "By the way, your boob is out." That whole scene was genius. GENIUS.

The Bree/Lynette church/faith plot has been both touching and comic, but I really don't need to hear phrases like "faith shouldn't be blind" when a different character's plotline actually is about blindness.

More on Katherine/Timmy... so their Gabrielle Solis / John Rowland esque affair (seriously, the 16 year olds on Wisteria Lane are just naturally inclined to be hot for the housewives... must in the water) happened 12 years ago. Just around the time Katherine left Wisteria Lane before. Hm. And, lo and behold, it seems Tim Tim (I'm going to keep trying these on for size to see if any stick better than the others) witnessed her killing (or not) her first husband.

Wow. I LOLed more during this episode than I did through Thursday's The Office (which, upon second viewing, was better once I got over the gross misfire that was returning to the airwaves with an episode not set at the Dunder Mifflin office... but I still didn't see it at anything resembling a series best).

Bravo, Desperate Housewives, and welcome back.

I'm recording Eli Stone (which I stopped watching after three episodes) because, what the hell, but I won't post about it unless I manage to make it through the whole thing... I'm curious how the show has changed and if it has improved.

... okay, so I made it through the episode. The show is not nearly as whimsically fanciful as it was (at least in this episode). A marked improvement. It was easy to follow the continuing plots I didn't see since I stopped watching. I'm intrigued if/how they continue with this earthquake cliffhanger, mostly because it is an interesting way to turn the show's premise on its head. In as much as it is an event that could make other people start really believing Eli (which it would seem they do not do) just as he is headed into surgery to get the aneurysm that may/may not cause his visions. It would be interesting for this Thursday's episode's cliffhanger to leave Eli on the operating table, his survival in question... especially if it turns out to be a series finale instead of a season finale, as it would put the question of faith to each viewer for how it turns out. Probably not how it'll go down, but whatever.

Comedy Night Done Right

So I don't watch Earl. But I do watch the other three comedies on NBC Thursdays. So let's get laughing, shall we!?

30 Rock. We left this show with what was either an inspired or insipid musical number in "Episode 210" (snerk). And we open on... MILF ISLAND. FRAK YES. I love that Frank's hat just says "or". "Erection Cove". "How long is this gonna take? Our pizzas are downstairs and the tribunal is about to make one of the last four MILFs hang up her bikini top". The MILF Island elimination phrase is "We no longer want to hit that". How did Pete get his shirt off? Not enjoying his runner... it's kinda hackneyed. It better have pay off! Hahah, Kenneth the Page hiding behind a cutout of Wolf from American Gladiators. Where is Jenna? "Chocolate chocolate chocolate, ack!" "The truth will come out. Like my cousin Stephen after he went to music college, it will come out." Brit Ishman.

A "B-" episode. Not the worst of 30 Rock, but far, far, far from the best.

The Office. My talking heads are back! Oh, dear, there's a video camera in Michael and Jan's bedroom. Tuna!!!!! Andy has a coat, a sweater wrapped around his neck, a shirt, and a turtleneck on. Something about this episode is off... I kinda wish the show came back with an episode that took place AT THE OFFICE. "You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!" THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

A "C". Really not that funny. Very disappointing. Awkward situation ≠ definitely hilarious.

Scrubs. It's late. If there's anything really amazing, I'll post tomorrow.

Idol Cuts One

I'm would at all be surprised with Idol not going the route it went last season by having a non-elimination week. It would be a little too predictable. Plus it would be a slap in the face to viewers who, this year, knew going into Wednesday there would be no elimination that night (and about 20% of regular viewers didn't tune in at all)... so why have the Thursday night special edition if you weren't going to send someone home? I mean, besides the ratings.

I am surprised Michael is going home (take that, the ascot). Still, looking at him... he could EASILY replace the guy who plays Mike Traceur on the new Knight Rider.

The show is obviously running short, because they are really extending this "Michael leaves" section WAY too long. So I suspect a "rug pulled out from under him" moment. But it doesn't come. Poor guy literally had to stand there for ten minutes waiting to sing his goodbye.

Meanwhile, what'd people think of the three presidential candidates' videos? I was equal on Hillary and Obama... but, wow, McCain should not do comedy.

Idol Gives Back... to Whom?

So I'm fast forwarding through the random sections of Idol Gives Back (what, it's after midnight...) and I see Teri Hatcher getting pissed at Carrie Underwood as James Denton fixes her "dressing room" sink. And I'm thinking... wow, ABC could not have asked Fox for a better promotional platform to help relaunch Desperate Housewives (which returns this Sunday! Yayz!) Plus... Band From TV! I was surprised the camera gave so little time to Hugh Laurie and Jesse Spencer (who are, y'know, on a Fox show). Of course, this came during the 7:30-8pm half-hour, probably the least watched section of the night.

Oh, dear lord... they let DAVID BECKHAM SPEAK. That is just so wrong. At the same time, Idol certainly is one of those shows that features people who have voices much different than their bodies... so I guess it's appropriate? Still.

In other news, South Park was funny and a rare "typical sitcom format" episode (A-plot, B-plot). These are my least favorite episodes of South Park because the plots don't even try to come together at the end, and that's one of the things South Park does soooo much better than most comedies. That said, the way the show used the Pregnant Transgender Man and the Ear Rat to get Ms. Garrison back to Mr. Garrison was inspired, as was Cartman becoming an inner-city teacher (as soon as he brought out the razer and started to shave his head, my brain really did flash to "Stand and Deliver" and damn if it wasn't hilarious) teaching the "White People Method" of how to cheat to get ahead (plus all the New England Patriot-bashing). Love it. But, again, it doesn't come together at the end, which is sad because it could've been that much better. Still funny, though!

Inspiration Week on Idol

Warm fuzzy feelings!

I have a bit of time tonight so I'm actually gonna do an Idol post!

Did I hear right, that the Idols are going to be phoning it in for charity tomorrow night? Loverly...

Michael - "Dream On" - He was off pitch. Though I liked when he broke into falsetto. I don't think any of the guys have done that so far this season. Still... eh. Paula's comment about him sounding as good as he looks... what a backhanded slap in the face! Honestly, I don't think he's as good looking as he was at the start of the season. And whoever dressed him... what the hell was with the scarf?

Syesha - "I Believe" - I love Syesha, and I've (mentally, anyway, since I haven't been doing big Idol posts in recent weeks) defended her when she has gotten to take on the big songs (even if I would have preferred others had gotten to sing them). But enough is enough. She broke the cardinal rule... don't sing Idol winner songs! Because, really, Fantasia wipes the floor with Syesha. Syesha can sing the notes... but she totally lacks the emotional connection with the song. In fact, that's been a theme this season... generally amazing singers, but not yet amazing vocalists. They can sing the songs. But has a single one of this talented bunch come close to tears while singing their hearts one (not that Fantasia's performance of "Summertime" should be the barometer for all Idol performances... but it is a bar). Maybe Brooke during her "Let It Be"? And not that all of the contestants should bring me to tears... David Cook, for instance, doesn't have that style.

Jason - "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Well, it's definitely a version more appropriate for Jason than what McPhee sang. But again... technically good singing. But my knees aren't weak. Just like his "Hallelujah", I don't get what the judges adore about this performance. Which is really weird because I literally buy into the vibe of music Jason sings. Le shrug.

Kristy - "Anyway" - I'm kinda surprised she isn't busting out "Amazing Grace". Anyway... my god, has Kristy always had swimmers' shoulders? It's an incredibly appropriate song for Kristy. And everything about Kristy literally sparkles (her tank top, her belt, her glitter-laden make-up). Her best performance? Possibly.

David C - "Innocence" - Our Lady Peace is David C's favorite band? Oh, my he just lost points with me. I mean... favorite? David runs into a problem this week... I think the first verse is too fast for him. Also, his best performances have been when he takes a cover version with a very different arrangement than the original version of the song... and when he isn't doing that, it actually appears (IMHO) to be a safe, normal, blah performance rather than ZOMG TEH AWSOME2. Ugh, that "give back" thing on his hand was cheesy. Well, he's not going anywhere.

A tangent... Paula's boobs have to fall out of that thing at some point, right?

Carly - "The Show Must Go On" - Carly singing Queen... I wonder if Michael wanted to sing this but Carly got it? I demand Carly sing Evanescence if she gets the chance. The things I bet she could do with Amy Lee... the background drowned her out a bit, no? I don't know if it was an angry performance, but it was definitely not an inspiring one.

David A - "Angels" - Can I just say that I love this song, before hearing him say it? It is haunting, beautiful, and makes Robbie Williams classy... which is HARD, ya'll. Like, I cannot listen to this song without getting choked up. That moment about four minutes into the song, where his voice breaks oh-so-slighty, the hint of desperation... sigh. That's what I'm talking about, connection emotionally to a song. Archuleta singing it seems appropriate. Sigh. He sings it will. Sometimes I wish he'd stick with the melody more. He's a far superior singer to Robbie Williams. Somehow, Robbie's is more haunting. Again, again, again... amazingly talented singer, just not enough emotional connection. I disagree with Randy. This wasn't as good as "Imagine". Simon says the song was never a hit in America... huh. Could've fooled me. I need to go listen to it (and have it give me goosebumps because it always does) before going on to Brooke.

*listens* *whimper*

Brooke - "You're Got a Friend" - Seems like a great choice for Brooke. Hard act to follow, though. She needs to rebound after a few not so great week. Brooke has the vulnerability in her voice that I think could work well with the song... and with this theme. She didn't quite get there on this song for some reason.

Bottom 3 performances - Carly, Michael, David C

Thursday's Bottom 3 - Carly, Kristy, Syesha

Going Home - Syesha

He That Believeth In Me

Battlestar Galactica is still crazy good. Not really the explosive follow-up to the cliffhanger I was expecting... but, damn, that first act was something (in the SFX department, especially), wasn't it?

Hopefully, like Lost, having an end-date will allow these last 20 episodes of BSG to unfold in a way that hurtles towards the conclusion. In which case, as with Lost, I'm absolutely fine with this episode serving as the appetizer, the foundation on which the endgame is built.

And there was a lot of really good stuff.

No answers, but some really great questions posed (and I don't just mean "who is the twelfth model?")

I Wanna Be A Supermodel

America totally got it right. Totally. I'm a huge fan of Ronnie's, but based on consistency, on runway, and on photographs... this was Holly's competition. She was the best model. Hands down. She's going to get a lot more high fashion work than any of the guys (and, let's fact it... on that final catwalk, you weren't looking at any of the guys in their metallic suits... you were looking at her in her couture gown doing the cinched waist, hunched shoulders haute pose). And, as one of the people said in the go-sees the models did this week, Holly's accent and high pitched voice can be fixed through a vocal coach.

Canada on Strike

So I totally forgot to post about last night's (long-awaited, IMHO) skewering of the WGA strike. While there were countless hilarious elements in the episode, it never really came together as a whole for me the way classic episodes of South Park have (like "Best Friends Forever" and "Trapped in the Closet", of recent seasons). Still... hilarious.

Especially Butters' video, the South Park version of YouTube's greatest hits (and the dramatic chipmunk's crazy psionic powers)... but most of all, the lesson of the week (they've stopped doing this, but back in the old days, every episode ended with Stan or Kyle saying what they learned because of the episode's events):

Kyle: You know, I learned something today. We thought we could make money on the internet. But while the internet is new and exciting for creative people, it hasn't matured as a distribution mechanism to the extent that one should trade real and immediate opportunities for income for the promise of future online revenue. It will be a few years before digital distribution of media on the internet can be monetized to an extent that necessitates content producers to forego their fair value in more traditional media.
Stan: Yeah.

GENIUS.

The tentative NBC schedule confuses me

The script for Kath & Kim is just awful, so I doubt it'll be around until winter (seriously). I've no idea what "SNL Thursday Night Live" could be... but it concerns me that the network would consider adding a half hour of sketches to SNL's weekly total when it clearly would be a better show if it was just one hour instead of 90 minutes. Oh, Ben Silverman... Penultimately, I can't recall what Crusoe is. Finally, there's a spin-off of The Office set for midseason, which simultaneously makes me happy and concerned (what of Mothership?)

Here's the schedule in case you didn't see (I'll only post the fall 2008 schedule).

NBC PRIMETIME SCHEDULE FOR FALL 2008-09

*New programs in UPPER CASE (with the exception of "ER")

MONDAY
8-9 p.m. "Chuck"
9-10 p.m. "Heroes"
10-11 p.m. "MY OWN WORST ENEMY"

TUESDAY
8- 9:30 p.m. "The Biggest Loser: Families"
9:30-10 p.m. "KATH & KIM"
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"

WEDNESDAY
8-9 p.m. "KNIGHT RIDER"
9-10 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
10-11 p.m. "Lipstick Jungle"

THURSDAY
8- 8:30 p.m. "My Name Is Earl"
8:30-9 p.m. "30 Rock"
9- 9:30 p.m. "The Office"
9:30-10 p.m. "The Office"/ "SNL THURSDAY NIGHT LIVE"
10-11 p.m. "ER"

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. "CRUSOE"
9-10 p.m. "Deal or No Deal"
10-11 p.m. "Life"

SATURDAY
8-9 p.m. "Dateline NBC"
9-10 p.m. "KNIGHT RIDER" (Encores)
10-11 p.m. "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" (Encores)

SUNDAY
7- 8:20 p.m. "Football Night in America"
8:20-11 p.m. "NBC Sunday Night Football"

Doogie Howser

Tonight's tag on HIMYM was pure hilarity.

The episode itself wasn't full of LOL... though, once again, the writers are leaving just enough clues to lead viewers into thinking that the identity of The Mother is blocked face in a photograph away.

So, are bets still on Stella from last week?

Meanwhile, it's just great to be stuck with the rhinovirus and watch Sheldon's antics with same on Big Bang Theory. Jim Parsons simply must be nominated for an Emmy.

Egad, Egan

Christopher Egan has been cast as the lead in NBC/UMS pilot "Kings". This happens to be one of my favorite pilot scripts in the last several seasons (at least the pre-strike version I read kicked ass... very much one of those "how the heck are they going to keep this shit going and produce this show on a sub-feature budget?" shows). I really don't know how I feel about Egan as David. I haven't seen him in much... but he wasn't at all what I pictured of the "David" character. At all. Well, I'll wait to pass judgment until I see a screener of it...

Andy Cohen Must Die

Can someone at Bravo please tell Andy Cohen to stop hosting the reunion specials of the shows on his network? I know he's, like, the boss(ish), but... dude. Seriously. You suck.

I've never referred to Ben + Ronnie as Bronnie. I don't know anyone who has. I mean, it's hardly Brangelina or Bennifer (or even, like, Spuffy or Woz). I'm certainly not buying the shirt.

Boo urns

I had a post, but it was eaten. Sad day.

Anyway, HIMYM good, but more b/c of Chalke that Spears. Lots of fun "Your Mother" jokes in the headlines.

David C was the best on Idol, he doesn't have the best voice by far, but he absolutely shines when he takes a classic song and does a completely different version, like tonight's "Billie Jean" and two weeks ago on "Eleanor Rigby". A lot of "eh" performances, including KLC's pandering (but still brilliant) song choice... but she was definitely the best she's been in weeks and weeks. Either Ramiele or Jason go home on Wednesday if the performance is the true judge... and I think between those two, it'll be Jason.

Travis is busy. Posting will be increasingly less frequent and detailed.

There Will Be Tudors

Season premiere streaming at http://www.sho.com/site/vip/home.do

Password is ROYAL.

I got a bit lost in The Tudors last season, but liked it enough to sample a free viewing of the new season. They do a good, extended job bringing you up to speed on the events that took place. And I like the new opening credits. Plus... Peter O'Toole as-a tha Freakin Pope!

Anyway, I'm going to actually watch the episode now...

Meet Kevin Johnson, etc etc etc

Probably the most straight forward episode of Lost ever. I dunno if my mind is blown, but I am satisfied with the explanation, the how, the why, and the when of Michael being on the boat. Not sure how I feel about the cliffhanger. Who gives a fig about Karl (who was wearing a shirt that I own when he died... I don't think it was available in 2004, so... boo urns)? The French Woman, though... that's another one of those "you killed Libby and I'm pissed off" deaths (if she is dead). Nice to see Libby for two brief flashes in tonight's episode, bthew. For both of them, I feel their stories weren't fully told. Libby, especially. She was the tailie that viewers liked, never got a flashback, and she was just offed. Danielle has been a part of Lost since the pilot, really, and was very prevalent in the first season... she's never gotten a flashback, either, and that's sad because she surely had an interesting story to tell from her pre-Island life. Anyway.

Make Me A Supermodel! Yay, Ronnie survives again. Naomi Campbell shows up and doesn't throw her cell phone at any of them. Sad day. The photo shoot has nudity, and was it just me, or did the show forget to blur Holly's areolae? That photoshoot was fierce. No, it was a hot mess. Tranny! Look, Christian's here! Fierce! Holly needs to stop referring to killing squirrels in her confessionals. Christian (yes, Christian) tells Ronnie to be more straight. I know he was talking about where Ronnie looks when he gets to the end of the catwalk, but... hilarity. OMG, Holly's second look is literally the purple and pink version of one of Christian's finale looks (the mixture of mocha and cafe ruffles, not the couture gown, but the cocktail dress, I guess you might call it... only, now it's PINK AND PURPLE). Girl, you better work!

I Stole Your Shoes

Tyra said the funniest thing ever today ("I stole your shoes"), backed by the most Sixth Sense music I've heard recently on television. Creepy! I hope it's online tomorrow so I can listen to it on loop.

And thank god for that laugh, because it's been a $h!tty day, IRL.

And to top it off, the Idol elimination was spoilt for me (yes, spoilt). Made even worse by who it was who got the boot!

At least Top Chef was good. It's so early in the competition for them to bust out a major catering event!

Anyway, reality TV failed me tonight, so it's off to watch South Park.

... unscripted television...?

I couldn't resist.

Alright, it's Top 11 night on Idol, and I'll actually be watching DWTS (curiosity re: Seles and Yamaguchi). I've seen the premiere of Miss Guided more than once, so while it was enjoyable, it's not on my menu this evening.

Amanda - "Back in the USSR" - More reason to love Amanda... I recently found out that my dad doesn't like her voice (not a Janis Joplin fan). The song is high energy, but more than last week I'm actually noticing the lack of enunciation. I love the way she commands the stage and, again, it's lively, but I do want to understand what she's singing a little bit more. If she ever gets to be her own star, I sincerely hope that she chugs a fifth of Jameson before going on stage. This girl could singlehandedly bring back hardcore rock 'n roll. Memorable enough considering she is starting the show off (more memorable than Syesha last week, for sure). Still, I agree with Simon. I'd love to hear her take on a ballad. Doesn't mean she's belting a ballad out. Just making it her own. That'd be awesome.

Kristy Lee - "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" - In her video package, she says she did a "new" song last week, and then goes on to say that she picked this week's song based on the title. I'm guessing, then, that she's either totally unfamiliar with the Beatles (unforgivable sin) or has had to settle for her second or third choice because of the lottery system. A bunch of the song was too low in her register. You know, there were some decent moments in this song by KLC. I'm not entirely disappointed now that the once-and-future stripper was eliminated last week now. And in the post-performance interview, she admits "this whole Beatles thing" is new to her, and suddenly I don't care whether she can blow Simon out of his socks or not.

David A - "The Long and Winding Road" - Wait. The Annointed One isn't singing "Yesterday"? I'm shocked. Anyway, TAO is back in form, melting the knees of 13-year old girls across America with just the power of his voice. Oof, Simon has brought "master class" out during THE TOP ELEVEN.

Kelli Pickler is performing tomorrow? Two weeks ago it was Blake Lewis, last week Katherine McPhee, and now the Pickler? Jeez. Way to stay in the family...

Shameless plug of iPhone is terrible. Terr-i-ble. And I'm a diehard Mac addict.

Michael - "A Day in the Life" - Yeah, it's all been downhill for Michael since "Bohemian Rhapsody", hasn't it? Poor guy has to go after TAO, too. Was his voice supposed to crack at that note? I... can't tell...? Still, if sex appeal can save KLC, MJ is safe this week.

Brooke - "Here Comes the Sun" - This is the first time since the Top 12 Women that Brooke has been sans instrument, IIRC, and it's a little weird. Brooke is a little talk-y during the judging... but at least she's talk-y because she's entirely agreeing with the critiques and is telling the audience to not boo the judges giving negative comments.

David C - "Day Tripper" - Will he suffer the same fate as Brooke and come down off last week's high (and a two week string of great performances for both, actually). The guitar is awkward in front of him when he's singing because he's just letting it hang. For the most part. The camera generally covers it up, but I bet the judges noticed. Not as electrifying for me as his "Eleanor Rigby". He fares better than Brooke did following up last week's highlight. Simon gives the same "old hat" speech he gave Amanda.

Carly - "Blackbird" - That's uncanny, given the silly judges banter pre-video package. Or is it. Hm. Most of the song is really just fabulous, but then she gives in to the sort of a-melodic, pitchy shouting. I don't get Simon's criticism about the lyrics being on the nose. Because Idol is known for its subtlety....

Jason - "Michelle" - Eh.

Syesha - "Yesterday" - So, Syesha won the "Yesterday" lottery, Let's hope she sucking f*** it up. Love her dress and earrings. The problem with this song is that everyone knows it and everyone has covered it. I don't think you can take real risks with it by changing it up (sure, you can harmonize... but you can't do to it what David Cook did to "Eleanor Rigby"... that would be true musical sacrilege). So, you can't take risks, you can't screw up... how do you not wind up being forgettable. Apparently you go on harmony runs. Simon's right, that's the song Brooke should've sung (but, obviously, she couldn't... because Syesha was singing it... which sucks because she'd have hit it outta the park, I imagine, while Syesha's was just a hair better than good).

Chikezie - "I've Just Seen a Face" - I feel like if you don't play an instrument, don't bust one out. So I'm skeptical about this performance going into it. He pulls the harmonica off... not at all. Corn. Ball. I didn't feel the performance.

Ramiele - "I Should Have Known Better" - Like Idol should've known better than to have two weeks of (essentially) the same theme, and Ramiele shouldn't known better than to wear that girdle thing. Ramiele took the wrong message from the judges. It wasn't that the ballads were boring (that's Amanda's opinion). It's that Ramiele's performances of the ballads were getting boring. But that's her comfort zone, so if she's here next week, she needs to find a ballad and SING THE HELL OUT OF IT. Watch tape of TAO's "Imagine" and "The Long and Winding Road" for how to pull that off.

I gotta say, there are a lot of Beatles songs that, despite two weeks of opportunity, went entirely unsung. And what was sung, wasn't sung that well for the most part.

Bottom 3 (Performances, IMHO) - KLC (gone), Michael, and Brooke... but I bet Ramiele is in the bottom 3 instead of Little Miss Nanny Sunshine (er, Brooke) since Brooke has had much higher heights in her performances to get a bigger fanbase than Ramiele probably has been able to amass. I'd stick Jason in there if I could, just to prove a point to him.

DWTS: OMG, this show is so the cheesiest... but I think it's intentional, so it gets a pass (but not a season pass). Seles bombs, Yamaguchi rules. I hope Monica sticks around, though.

... scripted television...?

It's here! It's here! It's here!

Anyway. I cannot tell you how excited I am for the new episode of How I Met Your Mother, and how much I'm barely containing myself that there's a new Big Bang Theory (but less excited about BBT... I still haven't been completely sold yet, but... new!)

Also I decided to record Dancing With The Stars and watch it for the first time pretty much ever (instead of the better-than-expected, but DOA-rated Canterbury's Law) because I'm really, really curious to see Monica Seles dancing skillz. But I won't bore you with extended thoughts about that.

HIMYM: Kind of sad that we basically skip right from Slapsgiving 2007 to St. Patty's Day 2008.... but it can't be helped. Better that the show write to when it's airing. Anyway... yellow umbrella alert! I think it's very important they included that bit in this episode, because it's both been awhile since the last new episode, and it's been a while since we've really heard about Ted's quest for the Mother. The third season had to deal with the Robin breakup fallout, so the Mother got a little lost. Anyway. Funny so far. BTW, did we know that NPH is going to be the villain singing in a 30 minute Joss Whedon internet musical? OMG, the DoWiSeTrePla apartment is crooked. Hilarious. No tomorrow!! "We can't raise our kids here, they'll grow up slanted." Apartment roller-luge. Love that Marshall sets Ted back down the straight and narrow... but the "this is how it really happened" has been done by the show before. Wish they hadn't gone back to that for the first post-strike episode. The episode was one "Jerry Seinfeld/Ted Mosby goes to the pier and runs, scaring a bunch of pigeons" short of brilliant. Love that the whole crooked apartment thing was an excuse to keep Marshall and Lily living with Ted for the time being. Actually kinda really smart.

BBT: Sigh. I love Leonard and Sheldon. I really can't stand their two friends most of the time. I've tried to enjoy them, but it's just too much at times (at a lot of the times). The stuff that does work in this show is Leonard and Sheldon's nerd in-fighting, and the influence of Penny on the both of them (Sheldon-robot, Leonard-nebbish). I think I laughed more during this than HIMYM, but I enjoyed HIMYM more.

Monica Seles is hot. I just wish she were dancing tonight so I could find out if she grunts doing the pasodoble like she did when she hit backhands.

FCC v Fox 2008

OMG. The FCC and Fox are headed to the Supreme Court, not regarding any fines levied for indecency, but because the wording of the FCC's indecency rules are vague and, perhaps, violate free speech rights.

I wrote so many papers about this subject in college. I. Can't. Wait.

Especially in light of the FCC fining ABC for showing a woman's butt in 2003 on NYPD Blue. Ridiculous!

Ji Yeon

Last night's Lost was the kind of "pull the wool over yours eyes" episode that made the series so damned surprising and addictive in the first season. And, like, 75% of it was in Korean, which is just awesome.

Anyway, the on-Island events revolved entirely around Sun being awesome and the result of same. Why is she awesome? Because she walks up to Daniel Faraday and flat out asks him if they're going to rescue to Oceanic 815 survivors. And he evades. So she decides to go to Locke's camp (with Jin) because, well, who needs to be on the beach if the boat people aren't going to rescue them? Kate helps Sun with directions (she's useful!?)

This is complicated by the fact that Juliet figures out what's happening when Sun sneaks into her tent looking for more prenatal vitamins. Smart girl, our Other woman. Sun doesn't trust Juliet, and keeps walking away with Jin (who has gotten pretty good at English in the time since we saw him last for any serious extended period of time). Jin's "Where Sun go, I go" is probably the most meaningful, romantic piece of broken English I've ever heard. And such amazing role reversal from the first season, when he was ordering her around. Wow. Anyway, this is put a stop when Juliet reveals Sun's affair to Jin. Jin gets pissed off (wouldn't you) and goes back to the beach and won't hear a word from Sun, but gets a nice pep talk about marriage from Bernard (hey, he and Rose are still alive!) Jin sucks it up and returns to Sun. He tells her he understands why she had an affair, and says that she cheated on the man he was before he got to the Island, and that's not the man he is now. He wants to know the baby is his, and she says it is. And our Island romance is safe once again.

This is all set eerily against a flash-forward where you knew something is off (because how could it not be), but had no idea what. The timing of the flash forward sequences worked amazingly with the on-Island story, which was all about Jin and Sun staying together and fears about the baby getting born. Sun is far along in her pregnancy (though I think they mentioned it was early to have the baby... but it looked like at least 8 months). She calls the hospital. They recognize her as Oceanic 6. This is set against a hilarious sequence of Jin futilely trying to get a huge stuffed panda as a gift. And here's where the episode got amazing. I was convinced that Jin was going to die because the story was so funny. Convinced. There had to be some tragedy here. It made sense with the whole on-Island story of them staying together, of Sun being superstitious of choosing baby names so early (oh, I forgot to mention that above), etc. Anyway, Jin puts the panda in a cab, but, like, drops his phone in the middle of the street and I think he's going to get run over. He gets his phone, but someone steals his cab, and his panda. He goes back to the shop where he bought it and shells out some serious cash for another one (the last in the store, which was on hold for someone else). It feels wrong. It just feels wrong. His eyes are desperate. Sun is in labor and is screaming Jin's name and I, and I assume everyone else, is thinking "goddammit, Jin, she doesn't need a panda, just get to the fucking hospital". Sun delivers a baby girl. Jin gets to a hospital, runs to the maternity ward... but there's a guard at the door. "The Ambassador" just became a grandfather. And the guard tells Jin it was a boy. A boy? The wha~!? Jin takes the news in stride and ties a blue ribbon around the panda's next (smart boy) while discarding a pink ribbon. The door opens and we can plainly see that the woman inside is not Sun. "The Ambassador" steps out and Jin offers the panda on behalf of Paik Automotives. Dude. DUDE. That's just not right. My heart has dropped, like, to my small intestine. We get a final sequence with Sun, where Hurley comes to visit (post-mental hospital stay? not sure, the post-Island timeline is soooo up in the air), and they go visit Jin's grave. Again. The wha~!?

Now, they mentioned Sun was Oceanic 6. Is Jin? No, and I really hoped he was. But Sun's stuff was flash-forward while Jin's was flash-back. Not because of the tombstone (though clearly Sun clearly believes Jin to be dead, and who am I to argue with her). But because of a subtle reference to the Year of the Dragon (2000-2001). So freaking subtle. Hey, that's why we try and watch these things twice when we have the time. It also makes sense of Jin's "I've only been married two months" statement, which through me for a loop when I thought it was still a flash-forward. That dog! Anyway, that puts his trip two months after he married Sun.

Oh, there was also some stuff on the Freighter that will come into play next week in the Michael flashback. What, you didn't see Harold Perrineau's name in the credits or hear the announcement last July that Michael was coming back? I mean, man, they just did not try to keep this a secret. I'm not disappointed that there was no surprise to who Ben's man on the boat was... so long as the show can throw me for a loop with exactly how this development came to be.

Busy Thursday

So, there's a lot of stuff going on in Travis' real life. Exciting, work-related stuff that I can't go into for the sake of my beloved anonymity. Posting will hopefully continue regularly with my oft-banal, occasionally-insightful thoughts on the TV I watch.

Anyway. This isn't a personal blog. On with the watch.

Make Me A Supermodel - Casey's gone. I'm surprised, I thought Ben was gonna bite it. Eh. Whatever. OMG, there's actual follow-up to the Perry's girlfriend tabloid story from last week. Follow-up! Anyway, the models go to Nawlins! And I'm almost certain that Ben is going to be cut this week because, well... compared to the remaining four wannamodels? Not so good. But, hey, he just smacked Perry in the nuts, so that's extra points. So, um, why is Perry talking smack about his girlfriend? He doesn't know it's true. The story was in a tabloid. Models are idiots, yo. Love the gothic photoshoot. So camp. Goth Drama Catwalk... Caridee did it better in the ANTM Cycle 7 finale. Blarg, Ronnie, not Ben is up for the vote. How about some good old All-American photoshoot next week (if he stays, which he should) instead of something that smacks of "not up his alley"?

Reaper - Oh, the first of the dreaded three strike episodes that were, like, rewritten by the Mark Gordon Company or something instead of by the writers... I've heard this is the better of the three... which means I'm dreading the next two weeks, but am watching out of solidarity to good friends who thankfully have jobs for a little while since CW ordered a few more episodes. This is the first episode to air since my cable provider added CW in HD... the difference is amazing. Visually, the show is so much more watchable (infinitely so). That was the worst editing of a cannibal eating someone's hand I've ever seen, though. I mean... not even blink and you miss it. They just didn't show it, or imply it strongly enough for you to get what happened until Jamie Kennedy screamed "my hand!" Maybe it was a Standards & Practices thing... anyway, it'll be interesting to see if there's good crossover audience with Smallville (and how the show fares against Lost). Speaking of...

... I'll post about Lost when I watch it again tomorrow.

Tonsil Trouble

AIDS was proclaimed funny by South Park six seasons ago. And now they infect Cartman with it. How are they gonna pull a rabbit out of their asses on this one...? I agree with Kyle. That's funny. Oh my god. Cartman just snuck into Kyle's room in the middle of the night, took some of his own blood, and poured it into Kyle's mouth. That's awful in the way only South Park can get away with and still have it be funny. And now a doctor is asking Kyle if he's been having unprotected anal sex. Love. It. Oh my god, this episode is brilliant. I have no idea how they back out of it, but oh my god. "If you don't find a cure for HIV, I will break your XBox." Hah! So much Kyle vs Cartman violence. Yes! Yesssss!!!!

Eh, the resolution wasn't that great.

Wednesday Night Reality TV

Hahah, Jim Carrey is wearing a Horton costume during Idol. Oy. Vey.

Anyway. Top Model had an interesting challenge this week. Changing locales to NYC has brought the show some respectable clients! I mean... two real fashion shows in three weeks (instead of on a sound stage and Tyra et al are the only people watching). Anyway, my viewing buddy and I can practically write the show (we love that Claire is dominating the Cover Girl of the Week thing like Heather did last cycle). Buh-bye, Amis.

Top Chef - I disagree with my viewing buddy about this one. I like Ryan. He's not the brightest bulb, it would seem, but I could *watch* him on the show. Thankfully he wasn't the cheftestant chopped this week (good riddance to boring Nimma!) My viewing buddy and I were both in love at first sight with the winning Duck Breast and Duck Egg Roll dish. And we think that Spastic McSpazzy (Andrew? You know the one we mean) is gonna crack. Soon. And how awesome is it that there's a lesbian couple on the show? That's gotta be awkward for whoever shares the room with them...

American Idol - Skipping the fat (aka the first 60 minutes)... Bottom 3 (see, I totally forgot that it was the Bottom 3 at this point in the show... here I am saying the worst / worst two performances....) are Syesha, Kristy Lee, and David H. Oh, and SexPot McPhee performed (with David Foster!? Holy crap!!) How'd she get on the show? Didn't her label drop her? Also, how did Ruben get the new "goodbye" song, didn't his label drop him? Also that song staaaaanks. Okay, I'm kind of surprised that David H got sent home.

Chinese TV

Does anyone else out there find the titles of Chinese TV shows hilarious / incomprehensible? I mean, they take "Idol" and turn it into "Super Girl" and then "Happy Boy". Now they take "Ugly Betty" and turn it into "Invincible Ugly Woman"?

I don't get it. Just like I've ever understood the nonsensical strings of English words in J-Pop songs.

Top 12

Oh, dear god, please don't let them use all of those lights during the performances. I mean, if Danny Noriega was still in the running, maybe...

I usually skip past the weird Idol opening sequence. I believe I will continue to do so.

You know what's weird this season? I think there are maybe two contestants even approaching Ryan's height. Which is sad, since Ryan isn't exactly six feet tall...

Pre-performance predictions: Kristy Lee and Chikezie are the bottom two.

Man, I'm really excited for Lennon/McCarthy night.

BTW, I've been under the weather... Canterbury's Law was much better than the original pilot I saw months and months ago. Ratings were terrible, though, so I sincerely doubt it'll be around longer than the six filmed episodes.

Syesha - "Got To Get You Into My Life" - Girl, you know I love you. But what was with your hair tonight? It was shockingly different. Not sure how I feel about all that sparkling gold (especially because I think Paula is wearing the same thing... which is so not a good sign). I really enjoyed the performance. As the only remaining black girl (! an Idol first for the Top 12?) you're gonna be around a while.

Chikezie - "She's A Woman" - I've seen that argyle sweater, open-collar shirt with rolled up sleeves and a tie look before... like, last year. The world has moved on! Chikezie looks strange sitting on the stairs beating his knee next to the three musicians. Thank god he stands up and moves away. The performance had a lot of energy... like a funk/country fusion. I liked it a more than I expected to. Paula still needs work on her English ("the reward paid off?" No, dear... the risk paid off). Oh, god, Ryan is telling Chikezie to work it. Someone give him Paula's meds.

Ramiele - "In My Life" - I do not understand why they started with the semi-overhead shot of her. Weird to go from the high-energy song to the resident balladeer. Skilled, controlled... but boring. No "wow". And only one (abridged) big vocal moment near the end. She's much better than this, Simon's absolutely right.

Jason - "If I Fell" - Zzz, video package. He really hasn't done anything to convince me that he isn't completely stoned out of his mind at all times. Ugh, he's got that guitar in front of him. I know he's making it through, but this was just as boring for me as Ramiele. I want to hear Jason sing some Jack Johnson, though. Paula tells Jason she feels his heart and I immediately jump to Michael Eisner's "Kali Ma!!!" of Family Guy. Classic Ryan/Simon moment regarding leaving students' dorm rooms. Love. It.

Carly - "Come Together" - I repeat... Michelle Branch. She gets the chance, I demand she sinces the Buffy version of "Goodbye To You". Carly is the first one to really use the lighting to her advantage. Love the green and blue elements. Tricky thing with this song is that, well, it's huge. Totally huge. She said she'd change it up, I didn't really get that... but she rocked it out. Still no "wow" from her (though she owned the song, really owned it). Just a very high bar of excellence (she has no pitch problems, like, ever). I can't wait for her to really, really hit it out of the park.

David C - "Eleanor Rigby" - Wow. Much like last season's "You Give Love a Bad Name" from Blake Lewis, this straddles the line between genius and blasphemy. Holy crap. Nearly as astounding... Paula's attempt at equestrian metaphor that ends up somewhere in Tijuana at a donkey show.

Brooke - "Let It Be" - Performance unheard, it's a great song choice for Brooke. She's smart, she knows to not go out of her range... but she also doesn't have boring performances. It's just, again, so odd to go from such a huge, upbeat performance to this mellow one. It's so simple, stripped, toned-down. We here at TY, Inc love Brooke.

David H - "I Saw Her Standing There" - Will he mention stripping? And... no. Man, I gotta take a tangent here... the Idol Concert this year is going to be awesome. The Top 10 are going to be so many leaps and bounds better than last season's (and, I'm really agreeing with the show, probably the best ever... and a lot of style variety, too). Anyway... David H's look is better than Chikezie's because of the suit vest instead of the V-neck sweater vest. I dunno about his performance. I didn't get anything from him. Reminiscent of his Top 12 Men performance... overdone, full of "eh".

Amanda - "You Can't Do That" - I find it a little weird that she's singing a song she first heard this week. From the whole catalog? Really? Okay... she's pitchy to start, but damn I love her sound and take on this lesser known (to me, anyway) song.

Michael - "Across The Universe" - How much do I love that the picture of him as a kid had "Vegemite" on it? Remember Australia? Ugh, that stuff tasted so foul. Especially in like of David C's performance, Michael needed to reinvent himself tonight away from being a rocker... because David C's obviously got that covered. I dunno, this didn't do much for me. He didn't do anything spectacular with the song or arrangement. Sleep is definitely the right word.

Kristy Lee - "Eight Days A Week" - Apparently "country style" means something other than with a ton of gravy and biscuits. Who knew? I thought the song could've done with being slowed down a little. It did go a little way towards hiding Kristy's weak voice. A little. She's gone.

David A - "We Can Work It Out" - Pimp slot! David loses a couple points tonight (which takes him down to, what, merely only 5 times more points than everyone else combined?) for admitting an unfamiliarity with the Lennon/McCartney songbook. Oof, he forgets a couple lyrics. He's human, everyone? Kick him in the nards!

Bottom Two performances - Kristy Lee... ah, who the else matters, she's going home.

Okay, fine. Syesha for lack of memorability, Ramiele for boring, Jason for too much of the same and boring, David H for overdoing it, Michael for being too safe, David A for having to rest on his laurels.

That said, everyone except Kristy Lee deserves to continue at this point.

Best - David C. Easily. Then Carly and Brooke.

- 30 -

Not certain how I feel about the finale of The Wire. As always, several notches above basically anything else on television. It's obviously hard to do the finale of a complex series (narratively and morally) like that. If there had been this huge happy ending (which, while muddled muddied and dirty, it almost was), it wouldn't ring true to the rest of the series. Also, last week's episode ("Late Editions") was probably a series-best for even this series. Life in Baltimore just keeps on running...

14/21

Well, thank god for ad-supported streaming. Watching the last 14 minutes of Lost now (only 14 minutes of show, so take that, 7 minutes of ads).

Wow, the show actually took an entire scene to recap the events (mostly just the outcome) of "Eggtown", passing the info onto Jack. Shine a light on it, much? But it's nice that people are asking questions of other Lostaways.

Juliet reaches The Tempest, pulls out a gun, walks in. Flashback to Ben. OMG, it's so hilarious to see the excited puppy dog look on his face, especially considering how gangrene he's looking in present day Island events. So cute/awkward! OMG, mention of the two tail section kids who were Othernapped. OMG, Goodwin stayed behind with the tail people to make a case to bring Ana Lucia over to the Others (remember all of that hot, steamy Unresolved Sexual Tension? Goodwin a playa, man). Ben says that Goodwin's assignment will be over soon like he has charted out the exact moment of his death. GIVE MICHAEL EMERSON THE EMMY.

Daniel confuses me with his genuinely confused/concerned "Juliet, what're you doing here?" when she points a gun at him. Take Charlotte out first, girlfriend! Where is that bitch, anyway? See, that sucked. Now I don't like Charlotte. Hitting my girl with a lead pipe (can there PLEASE be a Lost-based edition of Clue? In the Swan, with a falling Nigerian drug plane, by Mr. Green) But Juliet is scrappy and we get Juliet-involved-cat-fight number two. Though the Kate/Juliet mud bowl was more fan service-y, since Charlotte is wearing her hazmat suit.

Wait, is that how Ben killed the Dharma people? Wow, I liked "Man Behind the Curtain" but I totally didn't remember that. Brainfart. And if that's really what Daniel/Charlotte were doing there, then maybe there's really is some further connection between Widmore and Dharma, outside of fanboard speculation. So it looks like Daniel succeeded in making the gas inert. My problem: WHY NOT TELL EVERYONE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING? I mean, yeah, they'd be suspicious of you... but Jack would totally have let them go / gone with them to do it. And why'd they have to bludgeon Kate (yes, she deserved it for being an idiot/herself).

Flashback to Juliet telling Ben about Jack being a spinal surgeon who could help him, then Ben takes Juliet to see Goodwin's impaled corpse. Love is in the air! Why is Ben so shocked that ANYONE would ask him "why"? I think I'd asked Ben "why" a lot. Ben's "you're mine" is CREEPTASTIC. No wonder she was so eager to get out from under his thumb.

Juliet says Daniel and Charlotte are on their side. Kate is angry and gun-pointing. I, too, want Charlotte to explain why Kate had to be knocked unconscious. Just for shits and giggles. Kate wants answers, Jack is going to take Charlotte's word for it. You idiot. No wonder we never get answers. Jack doesn't ask questions / doesn't want answers. He wants alone time with Juliet! More with the creepy... Juliet saying Ben is going to win the war with the boat people. And Juliet admitting her feelings for Jack! Isn't this, like, two months after that scene with her crying over Goodwin? OMG, Jack and Juliet are so hot. As is Jack's "he knows where to find me". But what of Kate inside the Tempest? Why did Charlotte bludgeon her?

But instead we cut to the Barracks where Hurley and Sawyer see Ben walking freely (and he says "see you guys at dinner"... have we said how much we love it?) So, this hearkens back to Ben's whole "they'll start questioning your decisions" bit from early in the episode, right?

And, goddammit, they've managed to stave off another week without saying that Michael is Ben's man on the boat is (but I guess Locke knows now).